Chapter 119

Dylan POV.

I ended up waking with a loud gasp, my breath came out in panicked pants and my body shot up allowing my head to dart around the room trying to make sure I was back at the lake, only I was met with the interior of the medical tent. A constant rhythmic beep was going off, but in my panic it seemed to increase in speed.

Next to me, sat on a chair was Lewis. His head rested on the bed in slumber but his hand was on mine, holding it loosely. Why I had been bought back to the hospital like area was beyond me but at least I was no longer in that limbo place the moon goddess had sent me to.

My eyes uncontrollably streamed with water, and my breath was uneven, i had no idea why I was giving off this type of reaction, but it didn’t really matter, I guess my emotions had a mind of their own when it came to lycanthropy matters.

I didn't even think about what I was doing before I sort comfort from the only person present. I pulled my hand away from his and shook his shoulder, a strangled cry of his name left my lips causing him to wake immediately.

"Lewis!" His own head lifted straight away and he only gave himself 5 seconds to take my awake self in before pulling me into his arms. His tight embrace creating a warmth of calm to sweep over me. It had to be Lewis, my mate I mean. If King Josh wasn’t mated to me, despite me being chosen for him, then who was my other half? No one else had made me feel the way Lewis did. My breath instantly began to stabilise as my own arms tightened around his neck.

"Dylan?!" His uttering of my name came out as more of a whispered, unconvinced question, as he too tightened around my body, drawing me in even closer despite me already being flushed up against him. "You're ok... I'm here."

"I'm not ok... I'm not ok..." I shook my head and sobbed into his shoulder. For some reason, I was finally ok with letting my true feelings out around Lewis, I wasn’t ok, and he deserved to know that, hell I wanted him to know that, and for some reason, hearing the moon goddess telling me to become a wolf, made me feel worse and more trapped than I did when I was with Josh. I couldn't for the life of me believe what had actually happened. The moon goddess was completely fucked up if she thought I would just roll over and accept the life that she wanted me to live. "She wants me to... I'm supposed to..." the words got lost in a sob. There was no way that I could become a wolf.

"Hey, hey. You need to calm down, you are going to make yourself sick." He pushed me away from him slightly and held my face in his hands, wiping my eyes gently with his thumbs as he did so. "Deep breaths for me!" He showed me how to breathe because in that moment I had genuinely forgotten how, my mind focussed on one thing only, and that was what I was expected to do. "That's it. Long breaths, come on Dyl."

Wait... had something been done? I didn't feel any different at all, I felt the exact same as I was from before I encountered the goddess, but I had to be sure. So instead of thinking and acting like a sane person, I shot up out of bed, breaking the contact between me and Lewis in order to find a mirror.

"Do I look different?" I frantically asked while fumbling around trying to find something, trying to find anything, before realizing there wasn't many reflective surfaces around. "Lewis... do I look any different?!" I practically screamed it at him the second time as my desperation for normality intensified. I needed an answer, but instead he simply stared at me, his mouth opening and closing like a fish at my erratic behavior. "Get me a mirror... for gods sake please just find something.”

"Dyl, calm down." He finally managed to grab hold of my wrist gently, stopping my movements instantly. "You look the same to me." He finally rushed out as I let out a sigh. “You look the same, you look beautiful, nothing has changed.” Maybe the moon goddess didn't do anything after all. My panic was completely validated though, in my opinion, because I didn't know if she would just change me anyway, despite my objections, after all, my lack of consent had never bothered anyone before. Luckily though, it seemed she hadn't changed me, and I was still the me I had always been.

It was only after I had calmed down that I suddenly noticed just how dry my mouth was, and when I looked at Lewis a frown crossed my features at his stubble, it seemed like he hadn't shaved in a week. I personally wasn't a huge fan of facial hair on men, don't get me wrong, sometimes it did look good, but not on Lewis.

"You look tired." I finally stated to which he chuckled at. The dark bags under his beautiful eyes were prominent, and he had lost a bit of weight in his face. It was obvious that he hadn’t been looking after himself properly.

"You frightened the life out of me." He chuckled tucking a stray piece of my hair behind my ear gently and kissing my forehead, making it so I could feel his scratchy stubble on my skin. "You are not allowed to pass out ever again." I too let out a breathy chuckle and took his hand in mine, feeling the sparks of a mate bond coming from where we were conjoined. I liked them from him though, Josh always felt like a threat, whereas Lewis made me feel safe.

"I can't exactly control when I accidentally faint..." I smacked my lips together slightly in an attempt to put some fluid back into my mouth but it failed quickly. "How long have I been out anyway?"

"Six days!" Six days?! As in almost an entire week? My tearful eyes widened in disbelief, it felt like a day. Maybe a day and a half, but certainly not six days. "Like I said, you frightened the life out of me. We've got to make sure you get enough sleep, because I can't keep worrying about you entering a coma due to exhaustion." But that wasn't what had happened. I was forced into it because, like everything else in my life, that choice was taken away from me.

“Hello pot, meet kettle.” I stated sarcastically as my hand moved towards his face, however I stopped myself from actually touching him, which his face fell slightly at. “You haven’t slept much at all have you?” It was a rhetorical question if I’m being honest, just by looking at him it was certain he hadn’t.

“I’m a wolf, Dylan, and Im not malnourished. I genuinely don’t need as much sleep as you do.” He chuckled slowly, he was right though, wolves really were stronger in every single way. Maybe I was better off accepting the moon goddess’s curse.

I wanted to get Lewis’s opinion, but the thing I really wasn't sure about, was how to actually broach the subject with him. I couldn't exactly just blurt out what the moon goddess expects from me. It was bad enough I even had to think about it, but thinking about it logically, now it actually made a lot of sense.

On the one hand it really was beginning to feel, like the only part of my life that remained mine, was in fact my humanity. The wolves had literally taken everything else from me, and my humanity was the only thing I thought they couldn't touch, but now, now I knew that I was holding on to even that by a single thread, one that the moon goddess could cut within a split second and then nothing would truly be mine ever again.

On the other hand though, it would give me the strength I needed to take on the king. To fight with a strength that would match the opponents, could I really be that selfish to everyone? Was I truly blinded by my own self interest that I would turn down such a huge gift, one that wouldn’t only benefit me, but everyone else who was willing to fight and put their own life on the line?

I also couldn’t help but think that I needed to see what damage I could do as a human before I even considered altering my entire life. I needed to set the wheel in motion and begin to strike against the king and his backwards, and segregated ideals. I just had no idea how to do that.

“Lewis?” He looked at me, his eyes were soft and inviting, which always made me feel like I could tell him, or ask him, anything I wanted without the anxiety of maybe being judged. “What would you do if I was a wolf?” I think my question caught him off guard because he looked at me shocked.

“What do you mean? You’re not a wolf so…” I rolled my eyes and sighed. Of course I wasn’t, not yet anyway.

“I know that… hypothetically, what would you do?” He just looked at me frowning, expressing his clear dislike at my questioning. His shoulders shrugged, and his lips twisted to the side slightly as he began to nibble his skin inside his mouth.

“Well, I guess I wouldn’t have to worry about you as much. Not that I don’t think you aren’t capable now, it’s just that lycans are naturally stronger than humans. I’m not saying we are better than you, I’m just stating we are stronger… physically stronger I mean…” I chuckled at his rambling, after all, my question wasn’t asked to trick him, I really did just want his opinion.

“I’m not trying to trick you, I just wanted to know what you would do if I became like you.” He shook his head and looked directly in my eyes, his own swimming with confusion, he stroked my cheek with his thumb, I had come to realize that this was his affection language, and leaned down to kiss my head, instantly calming any nerves I may have had in the process.

“Is this about that man?” Huh, now I was the confused one, which man did he mean? “Josh won’t get anywhere near you to mark you, Dyl. You have my word. I’ll kill him myself before he ever hurts you again. You won’t be forced into anything ever again, you don’t have to worry about ever shifting into a wolf.” Oh… he thought it was Josh that had me apprehensive, I guess I could see where he was coming from, my talk of becoming a wolf did come out of nowhere, and he came to a valid conclusion.

“But… what if it was the moon goddess who turned me?!”

“The goddess Luna doesn’t exactly go around gifting everyone who asks, Dylan, She hasn’t changed anyone in centuries.” He stopped suddenly and let his eyes widen. “Hang on… I thought you didn’t believe in the moon goddess…” He looked at me skeptically, studying my features for any sign of truth that validated his thought process. “You haven’t simply been sleeping for the past six days, have you… you asked me if you looked different… Dylan, did you ask her if…”

“NO!” I cut him off quickly. I didn’t, and I never would ask for her help. “She asked me… she said she wants me to be her envoy on earth.”

**Question time... Do you think Dylan will accept her fate?**