Chapter 24

Laynie
"So, where do you want to start today Laynie?" Jackie asks from her chair. It's the same question she asks every time I walk into her office.
"I want to talk about my wedding." I say with my head held high.
Right after Jared told me to leave I bought a plane ticket back to Minneapolis. I knew that Jared was right. We were too damaging to each other in our current state. It was time for me to come home for a while, get myself better and then start anew.
I miss Jared every day. It was only recently I stopped crying at night for him. I love him so much and although he has put me through so much I no longer blame him.As soon as I got back, Anna suggested I start therapy. It was time I worked out everything that I had been through. It's been four months and I feel like a different person.
"That's a good place to start. What would like to talk about in regard to that topic?" she asks. Jackie is always professional. She came recommended by Anna, although I'm not sure how she knew her.
Anna has been acting very strangely lately. Well stranger than her usual self. I moved in with her in her two-bedroom apartment, we never did get a chance to be roommates so it's been a lot of fun. I did ask Anna not to bring up Jared at first. It was too hard, but with Jackie's help I was able to talk about him without feeling lonely and depressed. I know that Alan still talks to him and Alan is over every now and then to beg me into making his class some of my famous brownies.
My dad was another case. He wanted me to move in with him. Once I explained to him that me and Jared had split up, he hammered me about what happened, but I just told him New York changed him. It wasn't a lie. It's the same thing I told everyone. Only Jackie new the truth. I love my father but I knew staying with him wouldn't let me get out what I needed after therapy. Anna allows me to blow her ear off with girl talk.
"I guess I'm kind of upset about never getting a wedding. My mother and father went down to the courthouse because she was pregnant with me. I never wanted to feel like a marriage was just an obligation, but Jared made me feel that way when we went to the courthouse. We never even got our honeymoon.
"Why didn't you say anything to him at the time? She asks. This is why I appreciate Jackie. She tells me things that no one else would. Like now, she is asking me why I didn't stand up for myself. After all Jared and I had been dating since I was fifteen. I know him better than anyone else. I know if I really pushed for a wedding he would have done it for me.
"No, I didn't. I should have. I was just so busy trying to make him happy, and New York was his happy at the time." Certainly not now.
After talking with Jackie another hour and a half, I leave her office and head down to my car. I ended up buying a new one when I came out using our savings account. I felt terrible at first because it was really Jared's money, but I know he would have preferred that I wasn't taking the bus. Plus, Alan helped me pick it out. He says I got a great deal on it. I had my car in New York donated to a local high school. I didn't want Jared to have to worry about it.
"Hey girl, how was your session?" Anna asks when I walk through the door. She has been home early from work these past few days because of a burn on her arm from a hair curler. I think she just uses it as an excuse.
"It went well. I'm starving, want something to eat?" I say already walking towards the kitchen. I always make dinner. Anna is not one that should ever be in a kitchen. We had Alan over for dinner the other night and she wanted to make dinner. Although we cringed, we allowed her in the kitchen, it was her apartment after all. She told us It was gumbo but when I took out the trash the next day I found grape jelly containers, and lots and lots of ketchup packages.
"Actually, I was hoping we can go out to dinner. Alan wants us to celebrate with his new little girlfriend." She says with an eye roll. I swear Alan and Anna should just declare their feelings for each other already. It's making the rest of us exhausted.
"Okay, what are we celebrating?" I ask hopeful she is not about to tell me that she was able to find a buyer for the salon.
Anna put her salon up for sale a few weeks ago. She still wants to move to New York and start over there. Every time she mentions it, I tell her that I may never go back, but she just laughs it off, telling me that I have to eventually open the restaurant. I decided not to open Maggie's until I can figure out what I want to do. Technically me and Jared are still married even though we haven't spoken in months. I need to get all that settled before I open the next chapter of my life.
"We are celebrating Becky's birthday." She says with a harsh tongue.
"Her name is Brittany, Anna. You can't keep calling her Becky." I tell her laughing. Anna hates this girl for Alan and to be honest she is a bit different, but she is sweet and Alan likes her so that's all that should matter.
Once we get dressed, which Anna makes me wear a blue sheer dress that she bought me last month, we head out. I feel a bit over dressed for a simple dinner even though I don't know where we are going. The dress is strapless and stops right above my knee. It is almost translucent where the belly is. I feel sexy but still a little over dressed. Anna is wearing a red cocktail dress that shows a ton of cleavage. She has her long blonde hair to the side and is wearing red lipstick to match. If I didn't know better I swear we were going to pick up men. Anna insists on taking her car for some reason and we head over to the restaurant.
When we arrive, we are greeted by the waitress who takes us to our table. Alan is already there with his girlfriend Brittany. We give him a kiss and her a wave hello. Once we order I glance over at Alan who looks like he is going to pee his pants.
"Alan are you okay baby?" Brittany asks beating me to it. He is wiggling around like a child.
"Yep fine, fine. Thanks for asking. How is everyone doing. We haven't seen or talked to each other in so long." He yells. I just stare at him, I don't know why he is being so loud and so weird. We were at his place just a few days ago.
I look over to Anna who is narrowing her eyes on Alan and giving him a warning look. She clears her throat and asks Brittany how work is going. Brittany fills the table with talk and laughter as she talks to us about her job where she works as a receptionist at a law firm. I look to Alan only to see him looking at me with an almost brotherly look. It's then I notice he is wearing a suit and tie. The only time I have ever seen Alan dressed up was prom. He is just a t-shirt and jean kind of guy. Before I can ask him why he is looking at me so strangely he stands up and looks behind me. The corner of my eye catches Anna doing the same thing. Brittany not knowing what's going on as well just looks to Alan until he finally helps her stand and just tells her to go with it.
I turn in the direction they are looking in and my heart stops beating. Jared is standing there in the middle of the restaurant with pink roses in hand. He has on a white button up and black sacks. Tears weld at my eyes. I have missed this man. I know sending me away was for the best because I have healed and I can tell he has too, but it's been the hardest four months of my life. I love this man with my entire being. I walk out of the booth seeing Anna crying next to me.
Jared walks up to me with the smile I continue to dream about. I return his smile with tear running down my face. He places the roses on the table and takes my hands in his.
"I always wondered the reason why you liked pink roses so much. It took me a long time to figure it out. Pink roses symbolize appreciation. You didn't want a husband to bring you home red roses to tell you he loved you. You would already know that. You didn't want a husband to bring home a bouquet of daisies to show cheerfulness. You already would be. You wanted your husband to come home, with yellow roses of friendship. You wanted to know that you were equal and respected and that he was grateful to just be with you." He says.
My hand is covering my mouth as my sobs try to escape. This man has changed. He is proving to me that he loves me beyond anything. It's about damn time.
"Jared, I love you so much." I say with a raspy voice.
He smiles and gets down on one knee. He takes my hand in his and the other reveals a black little box.
"Laynie, will you do me the honor of allowing me to throw your dream wedding?" he says.
I throw my head back and laugh. When he opens the ring box my wedding rings are inside. I turn around and look to Anna who just winks at me and twirls her finger around, indicating for me to turn back to Jared. I giggle and do so. Obviously, my best friends were in on this.
"Yes Jared, I will stay married to you." I say with a laugh.
He stands up and we get a round of applause from the people in the restaurant. I didn't realize we had gotten an audience. He holds me in his arms and smiles down at me.
"What now Mrs. Cole?" he asks
"Take me home Jared."