Chapter 40

Austin
Candice was silent the entire way back home. I know it was tough for her to go against what her mother thought was best. She is technically living with a complete stranger. I have a meeting with Snake tomorrow morning and after that I should be able to clear some things up, so she can get back to her normal life.
We walk into the silent house together. She immediately walks into the guestroom I designated for her. I can hear drawers opening so I know she is putting away her clothing she got from her house earlier. I walk into the kitchen and look in the fridge to start on some dinner. My mother often comes into my home when I'm not here and fills my fridge and cabinets. I find some steaks and veggies in the fridge and take them out. I start on dinner to give Candice some privacy. Minutes later my phone rings, I look at the collar ID and see Chance's name.
"Still six in the morning?" I ask hoping he isn't calling because the time has changed.
"Yeah, far as I know. Reason I'm calling is to see how your girl is doing." He says.
I recheck the phone to make sure I am talking to the right person. I know Chance is not the most open person, but him doing this must be a bridge about earlier. I want him to know he doesn't have to do that with me. I trust the man, I do, I just need his head on straight when shit hits the fan.
"She's good man, speaking of, have you heard from Abby or Bone?" I ask
I had texted Bone earlier making sure Abby got home okay but no reply back. Abby's number was the next I called but no answer from her, which is pretty rare, kid seems to always have the damn thing in her hand.
"No, why? Need me to go check up on them?" He asks a little too eager.
"Yeah brother, if not I'll send Max. He still at the clubhouse?" I ask, realizing I haven't heard from my brother in a few hours.
"No, he left a couple hours ago. Said he had something he had to do really quick." He explains. Great now I have to worry about him. Can none of these fucks just stay put?
"Alright fine, yeah go ahead and check on Abby and Bone, let me know when you do, ain't right Abby still hasn't called me back. Have Psych and Shane watch the clubhouse while you're gone. I still got Shock and Gibson on duty patrol, and Miles is watching my house when I ain't here with Candice. Have Max call me as soon as you see him." With that I hang up and rub my temples. I can already feel a headache brewing beneath the surface.
"Wow, you're a busy guy."I hear Candice say from behind me.
I turn around and am about to say a smartass remark to her about being a boss, when I see what she is wearing. Holy Shit. She is wearing what looks like kid boxers with some kind of cartoon character on them, and a gray tank top. She also has some multi-colored socks on with each toe different colors. But that is not the hottest thing about her outfit. She wears fucking glasses. She looks like a naughty little nurse. Hell, she just may be.
"Um, uh, yeah, people called me." Shit she has me talking like an idiot. Is she trying to kill me?
"You're making dinner?" She asks walking over to stove to peer at the steaks beginning to sizzle from the oil.
"Sometimes, hope you like steaks and veggies." I say staring at her ass as she bends over to insect dinner.
"I do." She says with a smile.
I wave her over to the dining room table and make her sit while I finish dinner. We fall into a comfortable silence. Neither one of us feel the need to fill the quiet with talk. I think we are both completely exhausted.
I am cooking while she is looking around my kitchen.It's nothing special. I got the regular amenities, but mom came in last year and put in some gaudy wallpaper with kittens on it. I didn't have the heart to tear it down, so it remained. Whenever Max is over he always calls my house the cathouse.
I finish dinner and bring her plate over to her. I grab a couple beers out of the fridge and sit them on the table. She thanks me and takes a spoonful of carrots. At first, I don't even eat, I stare at her. She looks back up to me after her small bite of steak and her eyes go wide.
"Holy shit Austin, this is amazing. You can really cook. My mom and you could compete." She says with a laugh.
"You wear glasses?" Nice Austin. Way to notice something obvious as fuck, then shout it out at the poor girl.
"Oh yeah." She says with a shy smile while putting a strand of hair behind her ear. Fuck she looks cute. Don't know why she is being all shy when all I want to do is throw this food to the side and pounce. "Just at night though."
I just continue to stare at her. I eventually pick up my own fork and begin eating as well. I want to know more about her and I also need to talk to her about the meeting tomorrow without giving away too much information. She is not my old lady and I have no intensions of making her one, so I can't tell her too much.
"I'll be leaving early in the morning to see about someone that might be behind some of this shit happening to us. I won't be long, maybe a few hours. Max will most likely be here with you or I can send Shane." I say to her making sure she understand my double meaning. I know she is not comfortable with someone watching her but at least it's to people she knows.
"I really don't think someone will come out here to kill me Austin, but if it makes you feel more comfortable I wouldn't mind Max coming." She says a little cheeky.
I catch her double meaning as well. She prefers Max, understandable, after all she doesn't even know Shane. I give her a simple head nod at which she smirks for some reason and we continue our conversation.
"So, tell me about yourself Candice Lou." I say laughing, did she really think I was going to let that one go?
Candice rolls her eyes at me and gives me a little chuckle. I wait for her to finish chewing her bite and she begins.
"My mom's favorite holiday is Christmas. She loves every holiday but is a sucker for Christmas. We never had much money when I was little, but she always made she sure we did something that wrapped around the wonderful holiday. Her favorite movie growing up was How the Grinch Stole Christmas and she was always in love with little Cindy Lou who. When she found out she was having a girl she knew she wanted to incorporate the name. I was forever Candice Lou Holmes." She finishes with a chuckle that transforms into a sorrowful smile.
"You have beautiful memories of your mother Candice. I can tell that she loves you very much. Your grandmother too, in her own colorful way." I say with a chuckle. Candice's grandmother is definitely a unique woman.
"Yes, grandma is one of a kind. She is extremely free spirited, and she has never been on the shy side. She just says what's on her mind. Even when my grandfather was alive, every time she would say something inappropriate or downright crazy, he would just laugh or shake his head with a smile on his face. It was as if nothing she ever did was wrong. They were my heroes growing up." Candice states. She looks so transfixed on her grandparent's story, I have to ask her more.
"You a sucker for romance?" I ask with an eyebrow raise towards her.
"Afraid so, my favorite movie is Say Anything. From the moment I first saw that movie, all I have ever wanted was to walk outside to see the man of my dreams holding a damn boombox over his head next to his Malibu." She says with a giggle.
I smile at her, what a coincidence, that is one of my mother's favorite movies as well. Candice has not mentioned her father at all, so I figure he must not be in the picture. Plus, the way her mother reacted to everything I put my foot down on, indicates that he hasn't been in the picture for some time. Seems like they come from a family of independent women.
"My mother always taught me that when a man really, truly wants his woman, he will do anything possible to obtain her love. It must be done with respect and kindness for her to know who she is getting. I have had boyfriends in the past, but they never measured up." She says with a frown.
"That's because it's not exactly a true fact Candice." She looks up at me with a confused stare. "Yes, women should be treasured, and I agree with you that if a man wants a woman then he will make her his, but sometimes they have to go through struggles to see each other for their true selves. No one is perfect, but you can't give up on someone simply because they don't rescue you in the forest on some white horse. Being with someone during their worst times and not giving up on your love is what makes it genuine." I say seeing her eyes downcast.
"No, you're wrong Austin. My mother thought she found her love a long time ago but all he did was trick her. My mother found out he was married and had a child of his own. That sick son of a bitch has the audacity to cheat on his wife that loved him, had his child for him, took care of that child, and he got someone else pregnant. My mom was not smart for having unprotected sex with the man, but she thought she was in love. So yes, a man needs to earn that respect. A woman cannot just give it to him." She says tensing her body towards me like she is ready for a fight.
"My mother got pregnant and dealt with her difficult pregnancy by herself, she was in labor with me for forty-nine hours by herself, she raised me by herself. All while some joke lived his life like she never existed. After she had me she got sick and got an infection, leaving her no way to ever have children again. She figured no man would ever want her, so she just took care of me. We struggled for years and years with no help at all. That's what men do. They use, abuse and leave. It's in their code." She says with a final breath.
I just stare at her. I can tell she needed to get that out. She blames herself for her mother never being able to conceive again, of that I can tell. I hope her mother didn't tell her that often. That kind of information can be damaging to a child. Especially one that will one day look for her own love and become a mother. No wonder she feels like she has to be the perfect daughter for her mother. She feels like her very birth was a burden on her.
She shakes her head a little, realizing she just unleashed a storm on me and starts to blush. I want her to know I understand her predicament more than she knows, so I tell her something I have never told anyone. Not even my brothers.
"My mother and father were never truly happy together. My mother was in love with him. Obsessed really. My father liked her, and in his own way, I think he loved her, but they were on two completely different pages of the book. My mother was a hang around, she would come around the club in hopes to be an old lady to my dad. He was vice president back then, What Max is to me." I start, waiting for her to pay close attention. Once she looks back up to me I continue.
"My dad got her pregnant. She thought she was ready.She wanted to be with him, she thought she loved him. Hell, she probably did, but she was only eighteen and he was in his thirties. She was more infatuated than anything else. My dad was not a bad guy, he cared for her and when she told him she was pregnant, he did right by her. They got married, he bought her a house and started a family. After Max was born my dad started to realize he didn't want to be with her, never did. He felt obligation towards her, she was the mother of his children, so he did have love for her, but it was nothing compared to what my mother felt towards him. He started sleeping around and flaunting his whores around my mother. Still, she took it in stride. After about ten years she finally had enough. She realized she was worth more than that, deserved more than that. She divorced him and moved on. Never really did find a love after that, but to this day, she hasn't given up that Mr. right is out there somewhere." I finish.
Candice just stares at me. I give her a minute to catch the meaning of my story. She says her mother was broken from her father, but I've seen what it looks like to be able to get up, pick your face off the floor and move on. I am sure it's not easy, and it may take a while, but it's better than having no self-esteem. You can only get your heart broken if you give that person the power. You can't be truly in love if that person does not love you in return.
She gives me a solemn look and nods her head. She looks down at her empty plate then stands to deposit it into the sink. Today has been a long day and I for one am ready for it to be over.Knowing that I have to be up early in the morning has me standing as well and depositing my plate in the sink. I walk over to the living room and say a small goodnight to Candice, she returns it and heads down the hallway. Once she is inside her bedroom I sit on the couch contemplating over our depressing conversation.
After a few minutes, I hear the shower running and know she is taking a shower. I try to think about anything other than the very sexy nurse showering naked in my house.
I rub my face and head to my own bedroom to undress. I am in nothing but boxers when I hear my phone ringing. Shit, I left it in the kitchen. I still hear the shower running from the guest bathroom, so I walk down the hall in search for my cell. I answer it once I see it is my brother calling.
"Where the fuck are you Max?" I shout almost ready to choke him through the phone.
"Hey Aus." A familiar soft voice answers back. I look at my phone thinking that maybe I answered to someone else's name but still see Max's name on it. I give a loud exaggerative sigh.
"Hey Shawna." I say while closing my eyes, this cannot be good if he is with her. "Where is he?"
"At my work. Think you could come and get him. I really can't afford to be fired from this place too." She says sadly.
"Yeah, I'm on my way." I say and hang up.
I turn around and head back to my room to get dressed but stop in my tracks when I see Candice standing in the kitchen. She looks me up and down like she is going to eat me alive and I do the same with her. She is only wearing a robe and I can still see little droplets of water around her long neck. I need to get out of here and get dressed but my body doesn't seem to want to cooperate with that plan.
"You're leaving?" She says looking down.
Shit, she must have heard my side of the conversation where I just told a woman I was on my way to her. I need to clear this right up. I don't know why I feel obligated to tell her the situation I do.
"That was Shawna, Max's ex. Max tends to go to her when he isn't feeling himself. Only problem is, he tends to get drunk before doing so and goes ballistic around her. He's gotten her fired from the last two jobs because of his outbursts, so I'm going to see if I can save number three." I finish feeling like a tool for explaining myself to her.
"Oh, that's too bad, Max seems like he is just hurting, but I guess sometimes when you are, the people we love the most seem to suffer just as much as we do."
I let her words wash over me. Seems like there is a deeper meaning to that. I just nod my head and go to my room to get dressed. Once I'm ready I text Max and let him know I am on my way and to not do anything stupid. I head out to the living room where Candice is sitting on the couch with my keys in her hand. She walks over to me and kisses me on my cheek. Her scent washes over me from when she must have washed her hair. Banana's. Great, now I'm going to go out and buy some when she leaves so I can remember the damn smell.
I look back at her face, trying to figure out where that kiss came from when she walks past me to her room and closes the door. I walk out to my truck and hop in. I swear Max is going to get his ass kicked for making me drive all the way out to get him. I make a stop at the clubhouse first, and when I walk inside most of the men are sitting around the television watching an old baseball playoff game. I find Shane instantly and fill him in on what's going on with Max. I have him head to my house to keep an eye out for Candice instead of dragging Miles over there again. She may not be used to him, but her safety is more important to me than her being a little uncomfortable around him.
It takes me a good forty-five minutes to get to Shawna's bar. She started working here a few weeks ago. I know she hates it but with her last two jobs firing her, she had no choice. I pull into the parking lot and instantly feel the temperature dropping. Good thing I brought the damn truck, I would have frozen my ass off on my bike. When I walk inside all hell is currently breaking lose and my brother is right smack in the middle of it all.
Chairs are being thrown, glass is everywhere, people are shouting, and I can hear some women screaming for someone to stop and put him down. I look to my right and notice Shawna is holding a woman on the floor who is crying. They are both wearing the same uniform so I'm assuming she is a coworker. I run to the middle of all the people crowded around in a circle and spot Max holding a guy up by his shirt. The guy is bloodied and looks like he might be blacking in and out.
"Max!" I yell, loud enough for everyone to notice someone just entered the room.
Max turns to me and an uncanny look of recognition crosses his features. He looks around the bar surveying his surroundings and then to the guy he is holding. He drops him instantly and looks back to me. I can see the turmoil in his mind. I hadn't realized it had gotten this bad. When Max came back from his last tour he tried to hide his PTSD from me and mom. It wasn't until his and Shawna's breakup that we were told from her that it was bad. She never did explain why they split.
Shawna walks over slowly to Max and takes his hand in hers. He looks at her, then to their clasped hands and closes his eyes in disgust. She whispers something in my ear then walks him over to me.
When I was three years old and my mother told me she was pregnant and that I was going to be a big brother, I assumed she was giving me a little sister.I had a friend back then that had a little sister, so I thought that was how it went. You're a boy, you have a little sister. When they brought Max home from the hospital I was amazed that he was a boy. I had a little brother, which meant I had a best friend. I'm currently watching my best friend break.
Max collapses in my arms and I can feel his sobs shaking his body. I lead him to the door and head to the truck. He is holding me so tight I don't know how I am going to get him inside. I hear a voice behind me and when I turn, Max releases me slightly so he can see her too. Shawna is standing there and moves to help me put Max inside. Once he is in I close the door and turn to Shawna, who has a very tired look on her face. This can't be easy for her.
"Thanks." I say. I hope she knows how much it means to me that she was trying to help him and that she didn't call the police.
"Get him home Aus." She says before turning around and disappearing inside.
I walk around to the driver's side and hop in. I crank up the heat because Max is already passed out and head home. I pull up to my house and call Shane to come around and help me get Max out. Shane walks to the truck a few minutes later cursing me out for making him sit around a babysit a dark house for two hours in the cold.
We carry Max in and lay him on the ground. Candice comes out from all the noise and freezes at us all. I've had women in the past, a lot of women, and none have ever done what Candice is doing right now. She simply walks over to the guest bathroom and comes back with some aspirin. She heads to the kitchen, grabs a water bottle, then heads back over to the living room. Me and Shane just stand there staring at her.
She puts everything down on the stand in between the two couches and grabs a pillow to lay Max's head on. She grabs a throw from the couch and lays that on him. She then walks over to the kitchen again and starts a pot of coffee. I look to Shane for answers, but he just shrugs at me. Neither of us really understand the opposite sex, not when it comes to the random shit they do.
Candice walks back into the living room with two cups of coffee and hands them both to Shane and me. She then smiles at both of us, yawns and says goodnight. Says fucking goodnight. Who is this woman? Shane and I sit on the couch knowing we are both going to be up for a little while longer and turn the television on. I'll worry about tomorrow when tomorrow comes, but one thing is for sure. That shit is definitely something an old lady would have done.