Chapter 73

Anna
"You're fucking kidding me, right?" I ask Jed for the tenth time. I look over at my clock and see that it's one twenty-two in the morning.
"What the fuck do you care where I've been. You aren't my fucking mom, Anna." He never calls me Anna.
For the last couple years, Jed has changed. High school has matured me more. I am able to finally start being free. Father puts me on the occasional job of going through different computers and cracking codes. He also sometimes has me flirt with older men when he takes me to some meetings. A few light touches and innocent kisses on the cheeks. Not something I wouldn't have to deal with if I took that waitressing job I wanted. But Jed? Jed has gotten more aggressive. His once quiet and shy demeanor, has now gotten more abusive and threatening.
Just last week, Jed and I were sparring, something we still do every Tuesday evening, in front of father, and I got one point on him. He had lost his guard for a split second and I took advantage. Father murmured something, and Jed nearly attacked me. If I didn't have my training background, he could have really hurt me. I barely walked away with a cut lip and a few scratches on my arm.
Father has been working on a secret mission with Jed these last few weeks. I'm not sure what it is, but it's starting to worry me for Jed's sake. He's coming home late hours and getting up early in the morning. I don't know where he goes, I don't know what he does, but I do know whatever it is, it's making him a different person. It's a downward spiral and Jed is zooming down the slope, as fast as he can.
"Don't speak to me like that Jebidiah. I stayed up to talk to you about what the hell has been going on, and you're going to fucking tell me." I'm shouting. I'm extremely distressed but I'm not stupid either. Father is where he always is on a Saturday night, well Sunday morning, with his whores in Chicago, and mother is in her usual drunken stupor and has most likely token enough sleeping pills to not wake until an earthquake hits.
"Father has me on a mission. You know better than to ask about it behind his back. Go to sleep. I'm sure you have cheerleading practice tomorrow or some shit."
"I don't know why you're such a dick now. I'm supposed to be your little sister but all you seem to care about is making that fucktard happy. Am I nothing anymore Jed?" Wrong thing to say.
Before I can even blink, Jed has me on my back on the hard ground with his knee to my chest. I try to remove him off me without hurting him, but the asshole is cutting off my air supply, so I use my training and wrap my legs around his neck and throw him off me. Jed lands against our combined dresser but quickly stands back up. We take our stance and start attacking each other. It isn't the first time we fight, we are brother and sister, but the last time we did this, we were young, too young, now though, now we are much older, and Jed is much larger than me.
Jed traps my arms behind my back and pushes my back forward. I can feel my arms popping out of their sockets and an unmistakable pain shoots through my body. I scream, I scream for Jed to stop, that I tap out, that the pain is too much, and he is making it worse, but Jed doesn't hear me. I don't even think it's me he is hurting. I finally say a word I hope will snap him out of his trance. I shout at the top of my lungs, strawberries, and suddenly I am released.
My face hits the floor and I try to move my body but it's no use. My arms fail to push up and my tears are now blurred with sweat and the blood from when he landed a good punch in the side of my head.
"Shit, Belle? Are you okay?" Jed yells and runs over to me.
"M-my a-arms. They're o-out of p-place." I close my eyes when he reaches out and touches one with one hand and my shoulder with the other. I already know what he is going to do and know the pain will be brutal.
Jed hands me a rolled-up sock from his dresser and I shove it in my mouth. I bit down as hard as I can as he places both arms back in their sockets. The pain is horrific, but I suck it up as he picks me up and sits me on my butt on the hardwood floor.I scoot back against the cool wall, lay my head back and close my eyes. I can feel Jed come up right next to me and sigh loudly.
"I can't tell you what father and I are doing Belle. The less you know the better. He has you in this spot where you know nothing, so nothing can hurt you and you need to stay there. I can't live with myself if I know you are hurt because of me. So please Belle, don't push me. I can't control myself anymore. I can't control my anger. That word we created when we were younger as a safe word won't work much longer." Jed looks over at me while I catch my breath and that's when I see it.
The mark on his neck. The same mark that is hanging on the wall of father's office. The circle with the two lines. The sign for the family business.

My legs move over to the side of the bed and hang off. I am starting to wonder if my subconscious is trying to tell me something with how vivid these nightmares are becoming. I rub my shoulders and I can actually feel the same tension I wore from them all those years ago. That was one of the last times I spoke with Jed. I graduated that year, left for college and hardly ever spoke to him. Father never needed my coding skills and I wasn't necessarily going to call him up and ask how the family business was going.
After getting my degree in business, I came back home but by then, Jed was gone. He lived elsewhere working for father and six short months later, was arrested. After Jed tracked me down and wrote me the letter telling me that he was in New York and he knew of a way to put father away and destroy the business, I knew I had to help. I had practically abandoned him those years away and I was planning on making up for that.
I massage my neck and slowly move to the bathroom. A hot shower is exactly what I need.Today is the day of the trip with Alan. Our flight leaves at four thirty this afternoon but before I go and meet him, I have another duty. I made the meeting with Jed like he requested and shortly after confirming the meeting time with the prison, I texted the number, just like Jed told me. I never got a reply back but don't think I was supposed to.
I check the time after getting out of the shower.
Nine fifteen am.
The meeting is at ten and if I don't hurry, I'm going to be late. I check my cell and see a few messages from Alan last night. We spoke on the phone all night long together. He told me that he is pretty nervous about the trip, but I assured him he wasn't alone, and I was here to make sure he endlessly knew that.
All week long, it feels like Alan has been depressed about something. When I came and surprised him at work with some lunch the other day, he kept on reassuring me that he was fine, but I could tell something was off by the way he would stare off at his empty desks that normally occupied rambunctious children but instead they were all at recess. Even though Alan has been a bit distant, once he gets home, he texts me and waits until I get home to call me and we fall asleep on the phone. We've done that every night this week.
Can't wait to see you babe. It's been too long since I've had my hands on you.
I reply back a cheeky reply and wait for his response.
Too bad we will be at your parent's house.
Bad girl, now you've gone and made me hard.
I laugh at his reply and send back a wink face. I usually despise those damn Emoji's, but with Alan they are just fucking cute. Oh God, I've become one of those girls that loves Emoji's because of a guy.
Alan decided to do some last-minute errands and it was perfect timing for me because I wanted to still see Jed this morning. I finish getting ready and head down to my car to take off. I'm going to be late, but it should all work out. Looks like I'll finally get to see who this person helping us out will be.
The process of going through a prison is perhaps the most brutal thing in the world to do. I would seriously rather watch paint dry then deal with the same damn conversations, the same stupid list of what not to do, and the same bald, fat guy with a disgusting smirk checking my body for God knows what.
Finally, after ten minutes of slow torture, I'm let into the room where the prisoners can meet their loved ones. This time there are a few people already there. The same woman with her knitting needles are at the same table as last time. I notice there is only one table left unoccupied and I walk over to it since I can't see Jed anywhere. An officer comes over to me and leans down to whisper into my ear.
"You here for Delula?" I nod my head and he stands up and walks over to the prison side door. With keys in hand he unlocks it, sticks his head in and comes back out.
I see Jed walking over and even though this is the second time I've seen him in years, it still shocks me a little. He seems so different. Something has seriously changed him, and I couldn't be happier for his new personality change. I now see why some people say prison changes you for the better. Jed is healthier. Much healthier. Looks like they were able to give him the correct help that he needed.
"You're late Belle."
"Princesses are allowed to be late. Besides, where is your friend/guy. Isn't he supposed to be here too?"
"How do you know it's a guy?" Jed smirks. I can't remember the last time I've seen him smirk.
"By the way, why the hell would you put those letters in an elevator? Do you know what I have to go through each time I get one?" His smirk grows into a smile and he chuckles a little with it. I almost don't know what to do.
"Thought you could use the exercise. You looked a little chunkier than the last time I saw you."
"Prison suits you well asshole. Do the other pricks in here make fun of their sister's weight too?"
Another chuckle and I find myself laughing along with him. It has been too many years since we have been able to do this. Jed is a lot like me, can think fast on his feet, especially for a joke.
"I hate asking this, but what the hell has you so happy?"
Jed's smile grows larger and I find myself smiling for no apparent reason as well. He looks truly happy and that in turn has my day already looking up.
"Thirteen days Belle. I get out in thirteen days." Jed starts cracking up when I scream 'what the fuck?' loudly and I sit down when the officer from the visitor's side gives me an eyebrow raise. Pretty sure screaming and cursing is on the 'list of no no's' I'm read every time I step foot in this place.
"What do you mean you get out? Your sentence…"
"Has been thrown out. The person I'm working with, he was able to get me a plea deal."
"Wait, what about father, Jed? I haven't heard from him in days. If he knows you are getting out in less than two weeks, he is going to come for you. He is going to try and get you into joining the family business again.
"Good, that's what I need him to do Belle. And father isn't far. He's been having Raul watching you but hiding the letters in the elevator is throwing him off. He truly believes that we stopped trying to turn him in and are on his side."
"How do you know that? How can you trust the guy feeding you information, shouldn't he have been here today?" Jed shakes his head at me and when I give him a confused look, he elaborates.
"He wasn't meant to be here Belle. He wants to remain anonymous until we absolutely need him to come forward. If father knew you were coming here to visit me without getting in contact with him first, he would have destroyed you. So instead, we are keeping father off your trail. As far as father knows, you went into work today and will be leaving to the airport tonight."
"How the hell did you know I was leaving New York tonight?" Dread fills me. I hate not having my life to myself. I love my brother, but it feels like he is doing the same thing father is to me. I'm no more than a mere puppet in their game. How he has father thinking I am work today is baffling me, but I choose to say nothing.
"I have my ways Belle. Everything is going to be okay. I'll get out in a couple weeks; together we will infiltrate father's business and we go from there. You keep doing what you're doing. Get close to Alan, keep him safe, and when we bring father down, and the rest of the business, you can finally be free.
"I don't like this Jed. Not only can you be hurt, but I'm playing Alan. He's my friend, and I'm taking advantage of his heart." I've never said the words out loud but doing so has made my heart expand with guilt. I hate, absolutely hate what I'm doing to not only Alan, but his wonderful family as well.
"Belle, you mean to tell me that you wouldn't be with him right now if you didn't have to?" I stare at his eyes and then lower my gaze. He's right I love Alan, always have, but something inside of me knows this plan is going to blow up. Nothing ever goes according to plan.
"That's what I thought. Don't worry sis. Nothing bad will happen to Alan, his family, or you. I'll make sure of it." I nod my head but refuse to look at him.
Though I'm happy he is getting out of prison, I'm still very nervous about not only the plan, but his mental health. Jed has been locked up for over six years and now he is going to take down his father and the people that are responsible for both his and I's scars. The physical scars heal, they stop showing after so long, but the mental ones? The mental ones never leave. It's the same reason I hate going in that damn elevator.
Jed and I spend the rest of our hour just catching up. He asks about Laynie and Jared and I let him know Jared still has no idea where Nicholas is. Jed's demeanor changes after I mention Nicholas, but he doesn't elaborate, and I don't push him. There were four years when I had nothing to do with my father and the business and as much as I was happy and felt free, guilt panged at my heart for leaving Jed behind. He was the one that got so caught up with the business that it chewed him up and spit him out.
One hour later I say goodbye to my brother, and he reminds me that the next time I see him, he will be walking around like the rest of us tax payers. I hug him goodbye and don't break apart until the guard clears his throat. I walk past the guard, wink at him and leave the prison holding half my family, one last time.

"Did I ever tell you how much I can't stand airplanes?" I tell Alan as we wait for the rest of the passengers to board.
Alan's father was able to get us first class tickets even though the whole trip was last minute,so we were the first ones to board. The snow storm almost causes a delay, but it seems destiny is our favor of going on this trip because at the last minute the storm stopped and went further south towards Tennessee and Kentucky.
"Wait, what do you mean, you hate airplanes? You say that now, as we are about to take off?" I laugh at his dramatic persona. I hate airplanes but it's not as bad as he is making it out to be.
"Relax Alan. I'm more nervous about takeoff than being in the air. I don't have a reason why, I just hate the feeling of going up in the air."
Alan snorts and I elbow his side hard. He fakes being hurt because I know my flimsy little elbow didn't impact his large frame. The captain gets on the intercom and announces the weather being only twenty-one degrees in Minneapolis and how the flight shouldn't take more than three hours. The weather actually surprises me. Being in New York feels like it has been freezing and yet back home is colder. Growing up, it never felt that cold to me but maybe it's because it was home.
The plane starts up and my nerves immediately get the best of me. I wasn't lying to Alan when I told him I had a fear of ascending and that it didn't derive from anywhere in particular. I don't have a terrible moment on a plane or even have a nightmarish terrifying memory with father on a plane when I was younger. I just don't like taking off. When the stewardess comes over and asks if we would like anything my first instincts are alcohol and lots of it.
"Yes, ma'am. Anything in particular?" Before I can answer her, I look over at Alan and see he is staring right out the small window. I fucked up again. I'm here to help Alan with his fear that he will shame his family because of his drinking and yet here I am practically shoving it down his throat.
"Actually, can I just have some ginger ale or water." The stewardess nods and heads over to the next person.
"You didn't have to do that Banana." I look over at Alan, but he is still completely infatuated with the window.
"You know, it might be easier to just come up with a nickname for you, that way when you call me Banana, I can call you something like… jackass."
"Oh, come on, I told you the story of why I first started calling you Banana, and it was so cute I almost got laid." I shush him when the lady next to him looks over appalled.
"You can't say shit like that out loud Alan. That lady will grab her purse and hit you with it." Alan laughs at my joke and I lean my head on his shoulders. "Besides, yes I did have to do it. You're still fighting the pressure of everything happening with your family and I don't need to tempt you with anything."
I could feel the tension building in his body. I look up at him and notice him breathing only through his nose. That was Alan. Always trying to keep it together for everyone else until the one day he blows up.
"You don't have to put me in a fake world Anna. If you want a drink, you don't have to not have one, only to babysit me. I'm a grown ass man, I don't need you to be fake around me."
His words hit me hard in the center of my chest because that's not what I was trying to do.
"Look, let's just take it easy and have a nice time okay? I don't want to fight. I don't need to have a drink just because we are about to go over forty thousand feet in the air." I let him chuckle at my sarcastic comment and lay my head back down on his shoulder.
I don't want to push Alan, I want him to willingly come to me if he feels like he can't control his addiction. I just wish Alan would see it as one, an addiction. He can't live in a universe where his problem doesn't exist.
"You start snoring, I'm going to tell the stewardess that you have cocaine in that big ass ugly bag you brought with you." I giggle while still laying my head on him and closing my eyes. He's been talking shit about my Louie Vuitton bag since he picked me up, but I know he secretly loves that I still use the designer bag he bought me for my birthday last year.
"Just do me a favor and do that once we are over Toronto so that at least I can land somewhere where I can sell my body." This time Alan laughs, I still have my eyes closed.
"Don't think so babe. Your body is mine now, and I think I'll hang on to it for a while."
"How long Alan?"
"Forever if you'll have me."
I fall asleep with my head on the shoulders of a man, I am easily falling in love with all over again.