Chapter 76

Alan
I remember it like it was it was yesterday. The pain and anguish, as if it were a mere ten seconds ago. She broke my heart that day. I not only learned that I was with someone that wasn't supposed to be with me, but I learned that the world is a cruel and ugly place. I found my place that night. The bottle called to me, and it never stopped.

Two Years Ago
Anna should be here any moment. I dash over to the kitchen and start cleaning there as well. I never realize how dirty my house is until I know someone is coming over. Anna isn't necessarily a clean freak but knowing my girl, she will bust my ass seven ways to Sunday if she sees my left over Chinese containers from three days ago.
I've been a bit busy with helping to tutor little Arnold after school. He will be in my class the year after next and I for one cannot wait. He and his older brother have been having a hard time with their father and he is relying on me to come through for him this summer. I started teaching summer school for some extra cash which has unfortunately put a damper on mine and Anna's relationship.
Anna and I have been dating for six months now. We haven't told anyone. Something we both agreed to. This was new to us and if it went south we didn't want any drama. We wanted our friendship to remain. Jared and Laynie have recently left for New York, and since they left we haven't heard much from them. I know it's affected Anna, her not being able to be close to Laynie, but if I can make her happy with a clean apartment, then that's what I'll do.
A knock at the door sounds and I make my way over. I check the apartment with one last gaze and decide that the small speck of dirt I can see on the coffee table is going to have to just deal. I open it and see a very sexy Anna on the other side. She is wearing a small black dress that wraps around her neck. Her hair is up in a ponytail and she has very little to no makeup on.
"Are you going to invite me in?" I snap out of my hard stare at her body and move aside so she can enter the house.
I bought my house a couple of years ago. It was a bold thing to do because I didn't have an actual career in teaching yet. I was just a substitute at the time, but now that I am working full time as a fifth-grade teacher, I feel much more comfortable. I have even started thinking of asking Anna to move in with me. She was recently able to open up her own salon and I couldn't be prouder of her.
"So, what should we do for dinner?' I ask staring at her ass as she walks past me. Anna turns around and cocks her hips at me while crossing her arms. Fuck, could she get any hotter?
"You mean you didn't make the reservation at Las Mireya?"
I chuckle while rubbing my neck with my hand. I had totally forgotten about making reservations at the most expensive restaurant in town. Anna has been telling me how much she wants to try their food and when we planned tonight's date, I told her I would. I must have been so preoccupied with work and cleaning and everything mom has been asking me to do at the house since dad and Amari have been so busy at the office.
"Alan Scott King, you're an asshole, I was looking forward to their dessert."
I laugh so hard I hold my belly and bend over. I can't help how this girl makes me feel. Any other guy would have been upset that his girl just called him an asshole. Me? Anna can call me that all day long, every day of our lives. It's who she is. That spunk I fell in love with when I was sixteen. Anna walks over and slaps my chest but laughs as well. This girl was made for me in every way.
"Okay. So, I forgot. But there may be another nice, expensive, over the top restaurant we can go to, right?"
"No, It's Friday night and it's nearly seven." It always shocked me when she knew the time without looking around or checking her phone. It's as if she counted every second of everyday.
"Shit, I'm sorry Anna. You look beautiful too, I want to take you out, but I'll feel like a fucking asshole if I take you to taco hut or something." Anna smirks at me. I know my girl well.
Anna is an eater, as much as she is pissed she got dressed for nothing, Taco hut will be just fine for her. She grabs her purse from the couch, walks over to me, kisses me long and hard, and walks towards the door. It takes everything in me not to run after her, throw her over my shoulder and carry her off to my bed, but I respect my girl, plus she would knee me in the balls if I even thought of doing that to her.
We make it to dinner before the rush of annoying teenagers waltz in and destroying the place. I think back on the times Jared, Laynie, Anna and I would come here. At first, we would only come because that's all any of us could afford, but after a while, it just became our place. We each came from families with money. Jared's dad, although a dick, poured money in Jared's hands, Laynie's father was a lawyer, Anna's parents, although I never knew what they did for a living, seemed to always have money, and my parents would try and give me something, but none of us ever felt right just taking. We were probably the strangest teenagers on earth, but that was just the way we felt.
"Earth to Alan?" Anna asks from across the table from me. I hadn't realized I was spacing out. This place brings back lots of memories.
"Sorry, daydreaming. How's your food?"
"Well, it's not glazed chicken covered in lemon and herb sauce with creamy garlic mashed potatoes and asparagus, but it will do." There is that damn sarcastic smirk again. It has me reaching over and clasping my hands around hers.
"I'll make it up to you babe, promise." Anna's smirk grows into a smile and I'm reminded of another reason I love my girl so much.
Anna is what one may call a 'dirty girl.' Sex with her is amazing and always full of new experiments. We are completely compatible, and it just makes me want to shout our love from the rooftops. It was both our decisions to keep out love a secret, but now that it's been months and it's not like we don't know each other, I think we are ready.
We arrive home an hour later. We decided to take a walk around the park before heading back to the restaurant and driving home. I think we both wanted to work off some of that food. I let Anna in first and let her know I am just going to make sure the bedroom didn't have a homeless man living in it. She laughed, I may or not have been joking. I'm not the messiest person in the world, but like I said, busy.
I walk into the room and hear Anna's phone chime about ten times from the living room. I assume it's Laynie and start cleaning a bit in the bedroom. I walk back out a few minutes later and notice Anna's face is more somber than when I first left her.
"Anna, you okay?" She snaps out of it and looks up at me from the corner of her eye.
"Hmmm? Oh yeah, just cramping a little from our walk. Guess I ate more than I thought. I'm just going to go splash some cold water on my face. Maybe we can watch a movie for a bit?" I nod my head and watch her walk toward the bathroom.
I sit on the couch and fire up my Netflix, well Amy's Netflix. Anna's still in the restroom when I select the movie, Anna's favorite, Back To The Future. I head to the kitchen and start on some popcorn and that's when I hear it, Anna's phone chimes again, but it's still in the living room on the coffee table. I look towards the restroom and when I don't see Anna submerge, I walk over to the coffee table.
Had I known that looking at my girlfriend's phone would destroy me, had I known looking at a simple pink phone would break my heart and send me into a reel of emotions, I would have never looked at it. I would have sat on the couch, waited for Anna to come out and kiss her once she reached me. I would have never let her go, I would have been whole. However, that's not what I did that night.
I open the phone and look at the string of messages that her and her father were going back and forth on. My confusion is taking a toll over the anger of the messages I see, and I have to sit in order to concentrate.
"What are you doing?' Anna screeches from the hallway. I look up and see her anger but it's too late. I'm already on the third page of messages and my anger is clouding over hers at the moment.
"What the fuck is this Anna?" She jumps a little at my shout, but I don't give in. Something is going on and I want to know what the fuck that is. "I asked you a question Anna. Why is your father talking to you about Jared and your plan to be with him? What the hell is going on?"
She stays silent for what feels like eternity. I stay shocked at her silent admission.I was hoping, praying, that her father accidently called me Jared, or that when he wrote that dating me wasn't a part of the original plan, he was talking about some weird family tradition, anything, but what she was about to explain to me.
"Alan, we need to talk." Those five words would destroy me.Those five words would consume me for the rest of my life. Anna takes a seat and explains it to me. Explains everything to me.
"Alan, my parents aren't what you would call normal. They are thieves, they both come from families of thieves. Started in the south near Louisiana and my parents wanted to continue the business out here in Minneapolis."
"Thieves?" I ask, completely stunned by this conversation.
"Yes. They steal, but not just small items or random pricey objects. They steal life. They steal from anyone and they steal everything. The business is to train young adults and teach them to trick and lie to people, in order to get ahead. They train them, destroy their innocence and break their spirits. After the conditioning is done, they are essentially robots, told to do anything the elders want."
"Jesus Christ Anna. Like a colt?" Anna shakes her head.
"No, not necessarily. We don't worship and there is no faith, but there is a sort of brainwashing. The goal is to control anything and everything.My parents are the fourth generation and they don't work. My father's a coder, he steals identities and money from peoples account, but his dream is to control the government. Sounds like a crock, I know, which is why he never succeeds at anything."
"What does this have to do with Jared?" Anna takes a deep breath and continues.
"I knew Jared when I was little. He doesn't remember me, but I did. We were neighbors. I was five years old when Jared moved two streets away. My father found out that the Nicholas Cole was going to be in our neighborhood and saw it as an opportunity to get close to him and pitch him the idea. Nicholas has the money and resources to take the business plan and expand. I was the deal maker. I was to grow up with Jared, make him fall in love with me, and get into his head. Only it didn't go that way."
I wait while she continues, but my heart is slowly slipping out of my chest. I can't breathe, I hate that this makes sense according to the messages I read on her phone from her father but a part of me feels like she isn't telling me everything.
"Jared's mother filed for divorce, Nicholas moved to New York, putting my father's plan on hold. Jared's mother moved them to the other side of town and when Laynie and I started high school, Jared fell for her instead of me. All of this, put my father in a stupor. He was stuck. There was nothing he could do. I was able to continue my basic life without having to worry about anything like that again."
"Then why the hell are there messages now?" I say while giving her the phone back. Anna looks down at her phone and I can see her eyes swell up with tears. What a shit life this girl has been given, but it doesn't excuse anything.
"Jared is in New York now. Father knows that and wants to try again. I don't know why Jared moved out there, but his father is out there, and that equation is making my father feel like we could still do this, that we can finish the plan." Tears are now rolling down her cheeks and it's taking every fiber of my being to not comfort her, but I can't. This is fucked up on so many levels.
"Anna, I don't understand. Why didn't you tell any of us this? You were basically friends with us as a scheme. It was a goddamn plan. You were trying to seduce Jared while your best friend was in love with him?"
"No, God no. As soon as Laynie showed interest in Jared, I backed off. I couldn't do that to her."
"Oh yeah, only to Jared and me. God Anna, how could you be like this? Was anything ever fucking real between us?" I stand and walk over to the fridge to grab a beer. I unscrew it and start drinking while Anna stands and marches over to me.
"Of course, it was fucking real Alan. I love you. I love you, not Jared. I never have. Your mistaking a duty, to my true feelings."
"Well fucking gee, why would I do that? Maybe because your feelings were a fucking lie after all. You deceived us Anna. You didn't think this was something we would get upset about. Your fucking family is like mafia or some shit and you didn't think we would want to know that? That maybe we wouldn't want to be around someone like that?"
Anna takes a step back. I can tell I have scarred her with those last damaging words. My anger has spiked, I have no idea what to do right now. Anna's tears are all over her face now, but she isn't making a move to stop the flow. She walks over grabs her jacket and purse and walks out of my door.
That's how it starts. That's how our story goes from basic and boring to addictive and destructive. I down the beer in my hand and start on the next one. I don't stop until the six pack I bought last week for the baseball game for me and dad are done. I feel buzzed, but the memories and thoughts of what transpired tonight come crashing hard against my chest. I can't take the pain, I can't take any of it. I get out of the house, get in my car, and drive to the nearest liquor store.
Scotch is my preferred drink, always has been, but that night, I lost myself in Jim Bean and whiskey. I wanted to get smashed, and I won my task. The next morning, I woke up in the worst shape I have ever been in. My head ached, my throat burned, and I was extremely dizzy. I hear my phone ringing in the other room and rub my eyes. I haven't felt this bad since me and my sisters all had the flu and passed it back and forth to each other for weeks when we were younger.
I hear my phone vibrate again and slowly make my way over to the kitchen. I see my cell on the counter next to three empty containers of alcohol.
Fuck. Did I really drink that much?
Thoughts of last night come rushing back to me in painful fragmented moments.
Anna's lies.
All the pain and betrayal I felt.
I glance down at my hands fisting at my sides. My phone ringing once more finally pulls me from my thoughts enough to answer it.
"Mom?"
"Hey sweetheart, I was wondering if you and Anna wanted to come over for brunch today. Your sisters will all be joining us as well." I close my eyes and rub my temples as her happy voice comes through the speaker of the phone. I would normally love to go to a family event but today I just want to wallow in self-pity.
"Actually mom, I'm going to have to cancel. Anna is heading out to visit Laynie and Jared, and I have a ton of paperwork to catch up on. Can we reschedule for a different day?"
"Sure honey. Give my love to Anna." After she hangs up I run to the restroom and throw up. I don't know if it's the alcohol, or the fact that I just lied to my mother for the first time in my life.
Instead of showering and catching up on the kid's homework or anything else actually worth a damn, I head out to the same liquor store form the night before and continue my asshole brooding. This lasts all weekend. I drink, pass out, cry, scream and curse Anna out in my nightmares.
She doesn't call me, I don't call her, but I can't stop thinking about her. I feel empty inside, and the only way to make it better, the only way to erase the images of her breaking my heart into a thousand pieces, is to drink.
I don't get picky with my drinks. I don't care what goes in my body. All the alcohol I consume, plus the small bit of food to stay alive, is the only way I live my weekend in my apartment. When Monday comes, I bury the pain, the nagging feeling in my gut, my mind and body telling me that I should try to squeeze just one more drink in after class ends.
This is how I live my life for the next two months. I ignore everyone's calls, everyone's questions, everyone's pleas for them to understand why I am isolating myself. I go to work, come home, do my work, and drink.
I can't stop drinking.
It's my empty hole in the darkness that lurks behind the walls of my mind. The woman at the liquor store I was frequenting, recognized me as 'one of the King's kids' so I started going out of town for my alcohol and on weekends, I go to a bar outside of town, so no one would recognize me and divulge information that wasn't theirs.
Anna and I have yet to speak. Anna and I have yet to be anything. I haven't called her or texted her, gone to see her, nothing. But, that doesn't mean I haven't wanted to. She is the one person I have thought to tell about my apparent problem the most. I have missed her. Her laugh, her sarcasm, her body, her fierce attitude and determination, everything. But, I don't know if I can forgive everything that has happened, and now that I am this whole other person, I don't know if I want her to see me.
It's a Friday night and since Monday is a holiday, I chose not to give my students any homework. I don't have anything to grade, so for once, Friday night is a free night for me. I head to my bar that I have loved to frequent and greet the bartender Bree when I sit at the barstool. It's only seven thirty and the bar is located downtown, so it's still on the bare side. There is only one other person sitting at the bar and a couple of girls wearing bridesmaid sashes in the corner at a booth.
Bree walks over and sets my usual down. I nod my head in thanks and start drinking my scotch. Five hours later, I am still sitting here. I am beyond wasted. Bree has asked me several times is she can close out my tab, but I just keep shoving twenties her way. Her husband Lyle owns the bar and I know with the newest competition, they are struggling, so she says nothing as I let her know I'll be heading out once I see yet another brawl between two annoying frat boys break out. Bree tells me several times that I should sleep in their office for a few hours or at least drink some coffee, but I wave her off. Coffee will just make the buzz stop. I can't have it stop. I can't let the nightmares back in.
I hobble out to my car. Everything is extremely blurry. I grab my keys out of my pocket and take several moments to find the unlock button on my key fob. When I finally get the car door open, I slide inside, bumping my body along the edges of the car several times and banging my head on the roof as well. I almost fall asleep before starting the car but figure my bed will be more comfortable.
After a few attempts at starting the car, my key finally finds the hole and I start it up. It's chilly outside tonight and I take a second to find he heater. I take off and race home, not wanting to be pulled over just in case. My foot pushes down on the gas and I zoom past everyone and their blaring horns. Just as I'm about to turn onto my street, my car hits something, and I find myself in a blanket of sleep.
There is a beeping sound, one that sounds different then the alarm I set for tomorrow morning's breakfast at my families. Mom had called me last week and told me that if I didn't make this Sunday's brunch, she would send a search party. I tried fighting her and telling her I had just been busy lately, but she didn't believe me. Something about a mother's intuition.
The sound annoys me to no end but when I try swatting at it, I feel my stiff arm pull something with it. My eyes open from the pain shooting in my arm and I look around at what should be my room but is not. The white walls, hallow echoes of people outside the room, and the distinct smell of disinfectant has me realizing that I am indeed in a hospital.
"Alan?" I look over to my right and see Anna sitting in a chair beside the hospital bed. Her eyes are red rimmed like she hasn't slept in ages and she is holding a small bear that says, 'get well soon'.
I look back down at my body lying in the bed and pull back the blankets to see the damage. I have the biggest hang over I have ever felt and figure I must have wrecked by car last night. The clock on the wall in front of me indicates that it is seven twenty-five in the morning. Gashes align my legs on both sides. There is heavy bruising on my arms and one of them is connected to a pair of handcuffs.
DUI no doubt.
I haven't looked in a mirror yet, but I can guess my face doesn't look all too great because I can feel the tightness in my face indicating some bruising.
"I'm going to call the nurse, just hang on."
"W-wait." My voice is extremely raspy, and I use my unclasped hand to feel my throat.
"Alan, you need to be briefed on what happened." I cut her off with my hand up and she sits back down on her metal chair.
"W-what happened Anna?" She looks down immediately and I can't tell if she is uncomfortable with what transpired the other day, or from my accident. Either way, something feels off.
"Anna!" I demand, and she jumps in her chair.
"You were in an accident Alan. Your car was totaled. I heard the doctor say a few things about your injuries but nothing a few months of rest won't heal. The thing is, you didn't hit a pole or crash into a tree, you hit another car Alan." I stay stunned in my seat. Not from the handcuffs stopping me from moving but from the pain radiating through my skull.
It never dawned on me that I could have hit someone or inured them. Anna's face is alarming and making me break out into a sweat. A knock at the door interrupts her from continuing and in walks a small woman with short black hair and a nurse's uniform. She squints her eyes at me and Anna, then back down at her chart. She does this about ten times, then walks back outside. I look over to Anna, but she just shrugs.
Seconds later, A doctor walks in thanking someone on the other side of the door. He looks a bit on the young side to be a doctor, but if he can tell me what the hell is going on, then I'm more than ready to listen.
"Hello Mr. King. Glad you're awake, I'm Doctor Spicer. How are you feeling?" He sounds so chipper, I want to punch him in the face and grab a drink at the same time. Does he not know I hurt someone? Shouldn't he be an absolute prick to me right now?
"Um, good. Little sore, but I think I'm too confused to actually do something about the pain right now." Doctor Spicer writes down a few things on the chart he had under his arm and then looks back over to me.
"So, the pain level, scale of one to ten, what would you say you're at?"I want to scream at him, scream at Anna, demand someone tell me what the fuck is going on.
"I don't know, a five maybe." Doctor Spicer nods his head and writes one more time on his chart. I'm assuming he can tell I'm getting quite agitated because he starts to get to the main point, my injuries.
He names everything from my lacerations around my forehead, due possibly from the airbags, to the broken ribs, all the way down to my sprained ankle. I don't correct him when he guesses I may have tripped and fell before getting in the car to begin with. I was pretty wasted.
"There is a detective that wants to come in after we are done. Please make sure to keep yourself calm with what he may have to tell you. If you are feeling anymore pain, let nurse Janice here know, and we will make you as comfortable as possible." With that he and nurse Janice leave the room, most likely to go tell some other asshole that they hit someone's loved one because they were too drunk to drive a fucking car.
"Alan before the detective comes in, I just want you to know, I haven't called your parents yet. I didn't know what you would want me to do, so I figured I could just wait until you woke up and told me."
"What do you mean yet, how long have I been out?" Anna looks down at her palm once more and mumbles the answer. "I can't hear you Anna." I know I'm shouting, but my body feels like death, I can taste a mix between puke and copper in my mouth and my head is pounding. I don't have time for her own self-pity.
"You were drunk, way too drunk to even be aware that you hit someone head on going ninety miles an hour. Her name is Edith and she is eighteen years old. She was on her way home from the University of Minnesota to surprise her mother for her birthday."
My heart stops beating. I can't control my thoughts, my emotions. I have no words. I want the ground to come up and swallow me whole, making each and every bite more painful than the last.
"W-what?" I can't even comprehend anything going on right now.
"Alan, your phone was pretty messed up in the wreck, but they managed to pull up one number on it. Mine. When they called me and told me what happened, I was shocked. There was no way, that the man I loved was in a wreck that he caused, because his blood alcohol level was ten times the legal limit. No way a man I love, would ruin a woman's life." Her tears are flowing heavily. I can feel her anger radiating towards me, but my mind can't register it correctly. Ruined someone's life?
"Anna, tell me please. The person that was hit by me. Where are they?"
Please tell me they aren't dead.
"She's in a coma Alan. They don't think she will make it."