Chapter 39

Candice
With a few "turn here" and "turn there's" to Austin, we arrive at my house in about twenty minutes. It's interesting to know that I live so close to the clubhouse and Austin's home, yet I have never run into him. Just goes to show that my boring life only consists of my route to and from work. Austin pulls over right before my house, I'm guessing so we can have a quick chat about what happened before we left. He hurt my feelings yet again, but I have learned how to hide away all my sadness, my fears, everything.
When I was younger I didn't want to be a burden on my mother with anything. I saw how hard she worked and just didn't want to worry her. I always got straight A's, I never did any sports or anything because she couldn't afford it. When I was eight years old my grandmother won the lottery. Yes, unlikely, I know, but it did happen. She won three hundred thousand dollars. By the time she paid off all her debt and gave my grandfather's home a makeover it desperately needed, she only had about fifty thousand left. She gave my mother twenty-five of it and told her to do something worthwhile.
My mother was able to put it aside to save up for her own restaurant one day, and we started living comfortably instead of paycheck to paycheck. She started putting me in beauty pageants and girl scouts to get me more social but instead of allowing myself to start talking to her about my fears, I was taught how to hide them even better. I never told my mother that I hated it, and I never did learn how to talk about my feelings. I only learned how to give off my false smile, as Austin puts it.
Austin bringing up my "fake smile" twice now, has me wondering if everyone else sees it too, or if it's just his link to me. My mother has never called me out for being phony in front of her but then again, maybe she wouldn't. We tend to live in bubbles in the Holmes family. All accept for my grandmother. She is getting a little older and was raised in a different time than us, so she tends to say whatever pops in her head, but she normally respects my mothers and I's wishes.
"Need a few minutes." Austin says dragging me from my thoughts. "Look Candice, I'm sorry. Sorry for before and sorry for now. I let my anger get the best of me and that isn't right. I'm not the kind of man to belittle someone because I'm pissed. You tend to bring that out of me for some reason but I'm going to work on my reaction to your sass." He says with a small smirk on his gorgeous thick lips.
"Thank-you Austin, I know it's kind of weird. I'm twenty-five years old and I feel like I still need to hide a guy from my mother, it's just easier this way. I'm not ashamed of you or anything. Quite the opposite really." I say giving him my honesty that he says he prefers.
I enjoy talking to Austin. There is no drama, no false communication, no bullshit. I am able to be myself in front of him and when we end up on bad ends of the game, we make our way back to the center. Austin gives me a strange look and when I lower my eyebrows he straightens up and speaks.
"Didn't know you were so young." He says then clears his throat. "What do you mean the opposite? You jealous of a biker babe?"
"Just that you seem to say exactly what you are feeling. I envy that. I was never comfortable doing that. I guess what I'm saying is that it feels nice to speak with someone without faking my way through the conversation. I usually only do that with my work friends."
"You can always talk to me babe."
"I like you calling me that." I say then look down immediately cursing myself for being so damn direct and honest with him. The irony is not lost on me that I was just telling him how much I appreciate being just that, but I don't want him to see what he does to me. Although judging by his smirk he already does. "You were surprised by my age, aren't you around the same age?"
He grabs my chin with his fingers and when I meet his gaze a smirk grows. "Will be thirty-one in a couple months babe."
I give him a little smile. He turns us to where my house is, and we walk. Before we get to the yard I pull him into me and grab his shirt. Shit, I forgot that we don't have an excuse for why they can't be here. Austin looks down at me with a lustful gaze. I am so caught up with his eyes that I don't hear my grandmother walk up until it's too late.
"So you're the deep sexy voice on the other end. Looks like the voice matches the body." She says.
I turn around in surprise but not shock. My grandmother is known to be a little forthcoming when she wants to be. I see my mother walking up behind her giving me a worried look. Austin is a tall glass of water, but I know that from mom goggles he may look a little dangerous. He is tall with lots of muscle and tattoo's running down his arms. I briefly wonder if she has ever heard of his club.
"Yes ma'am. Austin Cole." He puts his hand out for a shake. Grandma obliges but bluntly checks him out while doing so. Geese grandma, keep it in your pants.
Austin throws his arm around me and pushes me forward towards the house. Mom blocks my path and prevents us from walking any further. I am so nervous about what she is assuming and here Austin is making it worse by having his claiming arms around me. Part of me wants to shove him off me while the other part wants to curl into his body further and purr.
"Aren't you going to tell us what all that was on the phone earlier? Or why you look like someone has been hurting you?" She asks. I knew I should have worn the cover up on my neck and cheek.
"Ma'am with all due respect, we need to take this inside. I got a few guys watching the house, but we need to be smart and take our talk inside." Austin states taking control of the conversation.
I put my head down, ashamed that he is speaking to my mother this way, my grandmother looks a little too smitten with him to care, and my mother simply narrows her eyes but walks back to the house. When we get inside I immediately look around in a panicked state. I am no slob, but I would hate to have a random pair of underwear on the floor or maybe left over Chinese from the other day.
My home is pretty simple. It's a single-story ranch style home that I am currently renting. It is a two-bedroom one bath, the outside is a newly painted brown with white trim, and huge front yard and back yard. I always loved my house. I always pictured myself with a bunch of kids and a husband that would build me a white picket fence and mow the lawn every Sunday. I hope to one day own this house.
"So, what's going on Candice Lou Holmes?" My mother's shouts. I cringe at my middle name. she knows I hate my middle name.
Austin snickers form beside me, and I roll my eyes and head over to the couch to collapse. I still don't know how well this all is going to go, but I trust him. Not sure why, but I do. Austin follows me over to the couch and sits down next to me. A little too close. Mom gives me a grim look but sits on the opposite couch closer to the kitchen. Grandma walks over and sits on her favorite armchair.
"So, what the hell is happening Candice?" Mom says, her patience wearing thin.
"I was attacked last night mom. Two guys came into the house around eleven and beat me. That's why you see the bruises. They handcuffed me, took me into their van, and brought me to an unknown building." I say feeling the night coming back to me.
I haven't exactly let out what happened to me. When I woke up and saw everyone around me, I immediately went into perfect Candice mode. I laughed off what happened to me and made it seem like it wasn't a big deal. Except it was. I was petrified. I still am. When Austin called me on my bullshit, it hurt because I hate when people see my real self, but I was a little relieved he made me face reality. Austin reaches out and grabs my hand, I let him and give him a squeeze of gratitude. I'm glad I'm not alone in this. I know I wanted to come home to be able to let it out, but he was right, it wasn't safe for me. Hell, just a few hours ago we were dodging bullets.
"When I woke up, I was inside Austin's clubhouse. He is the president of the Nightmare Warriors. A local motorcycle club that is making the community better." I'm not exactly sure why I said that last part. Austin has expressed to me that he has changed his club, but I don't know if he has put any labor into actually helping our community. I guess I just don't want my family to hate him because of his background.
"They helped me. They fixed me up, gave me some pain medicine, and let me stay with them. That's what brings us here. Austin says it isn't safe for you all to be here. I know you're staying at grandma's anyways mom, but you can't come here. They can't see your faces. They might associate you with me and the club and that could lead to something very dangerous." I finish.
Both mom and grandma are looking at me like I just told them we are live on an episode of CSI. Hell, maybe we are. Maybe this is all a bad nightmare and I just haven't woken up yet. Austin is being so damn calm about everything, I really hope this has not been a normal few days for him.
"What the hell you are doing getting locked up with these men, girly? And when did you two start dating?" Grandma asks.
"Grandma, Austin is not my boyfriend, he is just helping me out. I met him a few days ago at my work. He is letting me stay in his home for now and he told me on the way here, that we will have a couple guys watching over you too." I say closing my eyes, waiting for the shouting.
"Oh, hell no, I am not letting some little boy fresh out of leather pants school, dictate where I'm going to go every day." Grandma says rising form her chair. She is sporting another of her famous moo moo's which she swears allows her to move around quicker. This one has a black and white zebra print design all over it.
"I assure you ma'am. You won't even know he is around. As far as Candice and I being together, she is right, we aren't an item, just friends, but I'm making it my mission to keep her safe. My brother Max helped her out with a flat tire the other day. Those assholes must have been watching him because they attacked Candice just hours later and left her with a note indicating that it was personal. So, until we figure everything out, we need to keep you all safe." Austin states.
The room is quiet. I keep looking at my mother, unsure of what to expect. Her head is down, and her lips are stubbornly pressed together. She finally moves her eyesight to me and all I see is disappointment. She thinks I'm lying about being with Austin. I need her to know that I did not do this to her. That I would never want to disappoint her. I get ready to say something to her and defend my story when Austin beats me to it.
"Mrs. Holmes?" He asks.
I cringe at the accusation that she is married. Mom always hated when people called her that. Mom looks from me to Austin with a disgusted look. Mom used to never be this way. She was full of life and never judged anyone. It was only when the world gave her hell did she finally put away her smile and let her anger come forward.
"So I guess we will just have to grab our things and leave our home because your gang has issues with another gang, is that right?" She says narrowing her eyes at Austin.
I stand up getting ready to defend him when there is a knock at the door. We all look to one another and my grandmother pulls out her old trusty switch blade. Austin smirks at her unashamed self and walks over to the door. He looks through the peephole then opens the door slightly. Someone on the other side of the door says something in a hushes tone and Austin nods his head in return. Once he closes the door he resumes his seat and lets us know what is happening.
"Okay, so here is what is going to happen. I need you ladies to get your stuff. We will be happy to take you to wherever you like but my guys stay with you at all times. There is no room for discussion on that. I know this is a lot to take in, but I need you all to be safe. I'll keep Candice at my place. They will most likely not come after you two, so two guys protecting you will be fine. If they see Candice lollygagging around, then the might assume we didn't heed their warning. Separation is best. Pack light. We don't want them to think we are moving you, just that you're maybe out for a few days. We leave in ten." He says.
"Who the hell do you think you are? This is my daughter's home. You don't come in here ordering us around and making plans for people we don't know, to follow us. Now maybe you weren't raised by a woman, so your manners are a little absent, but I will not have some gang banger coming in here and telling me I am not welcome in my own home. How long do you expect us to hide form these men? Why wouldn't we call the police? What the hell are you hiding? Candice, how could you get us caught up in this mess?" Mom starts.
I knew this was coming. Mom hates men. Hates men even more when they think they can control her. She had a very bad experience with a man after I was born, and it left her with a broken and cold heart towards any man of authority. Her ex-boyfriend Ivan was what one might call a sexist shmuck. He controlled everything she did, and it wasn't until I was three did she finally catch on and kick him to the curb. I know this is a hard pill to swallow and I hate not siding with my mother, but she is wrong to speak to Austin in such a terrible way
"Mom, that is not fair. We told you what happened. This is just a big misunderstanding. Austin will figure this out. Yes, it's inconvenient, but there is nothing we can do about that right now.Yes, we could go to the police, but what the hell are they going to do? File a report of some guys that hurt me yesterday, but I don't remember what they looked like? They wouldn't even put us in protective custody and you know it. We need to trust Austin and his plan to have our lives normal again. I know you don't know him, and you're nervous about change, but I will not allow you to disrespect someone that saved my life." I say all under one breath.
My hands are shaking, and my heart is beating extremely fast. I have never spoken to my mother this way. I don't know what came over me just now. I just didn't like the way she was speaking to Austin. I know he isn't a banker, a broker, or a lawyer but she used to never care about those things. I am not stupid, Austin is a part of a club, the very club that is responsible for this mess in the first place, but of what he was telling me, they are clean now. Sometimes we need to see all sides of people in order to judge them.
My mother simply shakes her head at me in disappointment and looks away. My grandmother gets off her chair and walks over to my mom. She says a few quiet words to her then they both get up and move to her bedroom. They are in there all of two seconds when I feel a finger under my eye. I look up at Austin who is now standing but bending over to catch my fallen tear. I hadn't even realized I was crying until he did that. I quickly turn away from him, and erase the evidence of my sadness. Austin clears his throat and when I look to him he gently pulls my face closer to his with his hands.
"Remember babe, no false smiles. Not to me okay? I get that this is a little hard because you are used to making sure everyone else around you is alright before you tackle your own problems, but I'm sticking to what we talked about earlier. Let me be your safe zone. You never have to feel that way around me." He says making my heart stop.
I have never had someone say something like that to me. My mother loves me, I know she does, but I never wanted to burden her with my issues, I have a couple friends at work like Ben and Lyla, but I feel like I'm not one hundred percent honest with them. I have no one else. Having Austin declare that he is there for me, is finally making me feel like I can be myself in front of someone, and they won't fault me for it.
When my mother clears her throat I quickly pull out of Austin's grasp. Great. I just finished telling her there was nothing between us, I'm sure catching us this close to each other, is not a good thing. My grandmother comes into the living room right behind her and has a huge smile on her face. I fear she is going to tell Austin something inappropriate, and I am not wrong when she opens her mouth.
"Damn, if that man was as close to me as he is to you right now, I might have to stop seeing my other three boyfriends, just to make some room." She says embarrassing me beyond all belief.
I shake my head at my grandmother and walk to my room to grab a bag myself. I make quick work on a bag full of comfortable clothes, my toothbrush, hairbrush, some of my own makeup and other small necessities I may need for a few days. When I walk back the living room Austin walks over to me and holds my hand. My eyes widen at his gesture. I need him to stop doing things like this for two reasons, one, my mother looks like she is going to have a coronary, and two, my body is liking these things way too much.
We walk to the front of the house once my mother confirms that she has everything she would need for just a few days. She says the last part with a little more attitude than I like but I know she is hinting at her physical therapy appointment we have a couple days before I return to work. We all walk outside, and I see four men with similar cuts to Austin's standing next to his bike and my grandmothers car. There is also a SUV in the driveway that I have never seen before.
Before I can ask what is going on, Austin walks over to one of the men. I don't recognize him, but he is a little older than Austin. Maybe in his thirty's, and has brown hair that goes down to his collar. He has glasses on and is a bit on the tall side. Geese it's like these guys have a tall requirement for their club.
"Mother and Grandmother." Austin says pointing in our general direction. "Need them to go with you Shock, take Gibson with you."
My grandmother walks towards the SUV shouting shotgun to Shock, just before hopping in making sure to show lots of sock covered leg to Shock. My mother just stares at me. I walk over to her and take her hands in mine. I need her to know we are not going to be on opposite sides of this. This is something that just has to happen for now. When I get back to Austin's house I will speak with him about when he thinks we will all be able to go back home and when I can possibly see my mother in between all this madness.
"Mom, I know this is difficult, but I need you to be strong for me. I will have a talk with Austin when we get home and ask him what he thinks about maybe visiting with each other until this all blows over. I'm doing this to protect you." I say hoping she will wipe off the permanent scowl she seems to have on her face.
"Candice, listen to yourself. You're going to ask a man, to decide for you when you can see your own family? You're going to let him scare you into going back to his house when it makes more sense for us to stay together? I love you sweetie, I do, but you're are not being very responsible right now." She says walking over to the SUV.
I just stare at her fleeting back. I cannot believe she just said that to me. I am not being responsible? I have had to be responsible my whole life. I never got a chance to do anything for fear of it being too much on my mom. I can feel the familiar tears forming in my eyes, but I know I already have people looking at me, so I give everyone my false bravado and turn back to Austin.
When Austin sees my face he looks down and shakes his head but says nothing. I know I have disappointed him, but I am done playing tough today. I am officially checking out of this shit situation. I meet up with him at his motorcycle and we hop on. I see the SUV head east to my grandmother's home and a sudden anxiety of loneliness consumes me. I grasp Austin's back a little tighter as we head west to his house.