Who's the Boyfriend?

My heart had grown cold. Or, to be more precise, I made myself act that way. As the days pass, I am confident that my former self has returned. I am preprogrammed to be this way, like a computer.

"Fvck me harder! Ahh! Fvck! Please go faster!"

I organized our setup according to plan. There are no conditions and no feelings involved. Before anyone, including myself possibly, could hurt my heart, I want to keep it safe.

He moved more quickly than I would have liked. He satisfied me in his customary manner, as always. He kept slapping himself on me, and I felt him encircling the curve of my waist. I complained and complained about what we were doing until I felt him completely fill me.

My stomach erupts with warm juices. He gave me a forehead kiss before slamming into me. He gave me an embrace and pressed my head against his chest to show that he wanted to cuddle. I'm hesitant to say it, but yes, my favorite.

“Now that your big day is approaching, how was it?” I enquired.

I'm having trouble thinking of sensible topics right now. I don't care if he realizes it or not; I'm just going all out to get what I want. Of course, if I feel that he feels it too, I won't behave that way.

Good news so far, not a hint of being discovered. All I could sense was that he is utterly enamored of me.

“Are you still doubting me? Your boyfriend has already mastered this, so it's fine.”

Thankfully, he was unable to see the visceral response on my face. I stopped mulling over what he had said.

Boyfriend? I never believed him to be my boyfriend.

"Who said that to you?"

“Who told what?”

I teased him, but I know there's this nervousness under my tone: "Boyfriend. I didn't know I had one."

“You now know that I am your man and that you are my girlfriend.”

I bit my lower lip to contain my smile. I made a concerted effort to look annoyed or something.

“I wasn't even courted by you.”

I sensed him halt. In order for us to see each other's faces, he gently pushed me. I could tell he was serious. His thumb and index finger lightly touched my chin. He appeared to be worshiping every feature of my face as he gazed upon me.

“If only you'd let me, I'd court you forever.”

I swallowed. Maintaining composure, appearing unaffected, and maintaining a straight face are extremely difficult. I laughed to mask the terrified "me" inside.

The mighty wolf Beau, who makes women fall to their knees, asking a woman for courtship? Is it already the end of the world? I thought you didn't do relationships.

His jaw clenched sternly. “If the time comes, I'll damn well beg you on my knees.”

My heart beat quickly and loudly. I was unable to contain myself due to how loud it is. He might hear that, and I'm so afraid. I pushed him jokingly and even gave him a light slap on the face to lighten the mood.

He wouldn't hear my loud heartbeat, so I laughed.

“I only did this because I thought you'd be okay with this kind of setup. I don't like men who have their feelings involved. I don't want anything permanent. I don't want cliche things. I only want experience. And I thought you wanted the same. You know how this set up started, Beau.”

He remained silent. He seems to have become angrier just now.

“I could just pull away and find another man to appease me, so just tell me if you're not up to that already.”

He used his thumb to close my mouth. His eyebrows are now touching one another.


“I'll kill any man you choose until you are forced to come back to me, so try doing that.”

My chest tightened. Unable to respond, it felt like paradise. No, this sensation is actually heaven disguised. I must avoid slipping into this bottomless pit because if I do, I will perish in the end.

“Then don't say things that make no sense, Beau,” I said in a chilly tone.

I briefly caught a glimpse of hurt in his eyes. Or was I the only one? Still, whatever. I just want him to pay attention to me. I just hope that he will soon understand that the way he feels about me is wrong and not worthwhile. I have no choice but to tell him everything if not.


What about the people I care about who are involved in this, though? Eli and Oli.
"Fvck yeah!"

Oli's exclamation caught me off guard. I nearly dropped my phone as a result of what he did. He was walking back and forth with a huge smile plastered on his face. He let us use this vacant apartment as our hideout when we are preparing our small crimes. All the things we need are here.

He's currently dressed professionally because he just entered a meeting. I have to attend a formal dinner that Knight invited me to, so I'm dressed appropriately for the occasion.

I enquired, "What? What is it?" to him with interest.

He punched the air while he closed his eyes. He appeared to be beyond happy. And now I'm here, curious to find out what's wrong.

I asked, sounding impatient, "What the hell is it?"

He brought the iPad to me and said, "Look.”

He set it down on the oblong coffee table and read the email he had received. When I saw the good news, my eyes slightly brightened.

The meeting that he suggested was accepted by Beau. He has moved one step closer to our strategy.

Oli yelled once more, "This is it, Jade. This is it. Heck yeah! " and grabbed the iPad to, I guess, respond to it or something. I'm not sure.

When he moved out of the way in front of me, my genuine smile vanished. I looked around for a while, trying to find the adrenaline. I'm not responding the way I ought to. I should be celebrating, just like Oli is doing, rather than feeling depressed and empty.

I guess this is what I want. I had to make this deal in order to advance my Oli’s case. Why, though, do I feel so alone?

He said, "This is something to be celebrated, Jade. I admit, I was a little sceptical before, given that this was my first time and that Beau Spencer is one hell of a brute when it comes to business.”

“Next week, for neon,” he said.

The bar we regularly visit with our friends is called Neon. I squinted.

“I'll check to see if I have the time. I-I don't know."

“What do you mean you have the time, it's your birthday, come on!"

I was speechless from shock. My birthday is today. How was I even able to ignore it? Before, I used to celebrate birthdays. I'm so distracted right now that I totally forgot about it.

He smirked and set down the iPad, saying, "You know what? I'll make plans. We'll celebrate this, Jade. I can feel it. We're close to getting this deal."

"Okay," I replied.