Ginger Roy Part 2
I raise my hands in front of my face to cast a shadow, staring at what must have been a property, now completely destroyed by fire, with charred black wood, reduced to rubble. The large lake nearby makes the wind colder with each step I take toward the burned lakeside house. I turn my face and glance around, noticing the thick forest that stretches from the wooden debris to near the palazzo. Sieta said the balcony window in the bedroom was open. It wasn't too high; if Mabel had jumped out, she could have easily hidden in the woods and come here without any of the guards noticing.
I turn my face forward and lift my foot, walking slowly and stepping over a fallen piece of wood. I hear the sound of birds inside the deteriorating structure as I walk slowly, watching them flap their wings and fly toward the lake. The stunning view of the lake is breathtaking, with only trees and mountains on the other side. I let out a deep sigh and place one hand on my back and the other on my belly, gently stroking it.
“Do you mind if I sit for a bit?” I say loudly, walking toward a pile of fallen wood and smiling. “Ever since I got pregnant, what I appreciate most is a place to sit.”
I slowly sit down, grateful to have a little corner where I can rest from the walk I made from the palazzo to here.
“Jonathan even laughs at me, teasing me for always looking for a place to sit when I leave the house.” I stretch my leg and close my eyes, listening to the distant chirping of the birds as they fly over the lake. “But he's the first to force me to rest all the time.”
I open my eyes and turn my face toward the dark corner of a wall that still stands, with some wood propped against it, leaving only a narrow gap between the standing wood and the wall, where I believe the guards didn’t pay attention. By her stature, she could easily hide there.
“I didn’t get the chance to talk properly with you, Mabel. I’m Ginger, Jonathan Roy's wife,” I sigh, looking around. “You must have felt cold here, right?! I still can’t get used to this low temperature in Russia.” I rub my arms and see the white breath of air escaping my mouth as I speak. “Jonathan almost set the room on fire with how much wood he threw in the fireplace to keep it burning all night to warm me, even when I said it wasn’t necessary... Sometimes, I feel like hitting him for how much he tries to control me, watching every step I take. But in his way, which few know, he takes care of me.”
I pause and wait, trying to find a moment to hear her voice or her breathing.
“Being married to a master isn’t easy; they always need to be in control, which is irritating, but at the same time, it’s good,” I murmur, lowering my eyes to my belly. “Everyone might think we have to do everything to please them, to obey their orders... But it’s the opposite. Everything Roy does is for me; every action shows his care and love in his own way, but still love.”
I smile and tilt my face to the side, stroking my belly.
“When I married Roy, I knew we wouldn’t have children. He can’t have kids, and that’s never been a problem for us,” I sigh, feeling my smile fade. “I never told him that deep down I wanted to be a mother. I always deflected, changed the subject, saying everything was fine, that we would never lose our love just because we wouldn’t have children. But Jonathan knew, even before I did, that something was missing in my life, that a gap hadn’t been filled. Then one day, when I got home from work, Roy was waiting for me. He had some documents with him from a fertility clinic. Jonathan had been studying this for months, looking for a way for us to build a family... Baby, my sister-in-law, volunteered to donate the sperm for our child.”
“Why did your sister-in-law donate sperm?” I smile upon hearing a soft voice asking me from the corner of the wall.
“It’s a long story, but to summarize, Baby has a very functional penis, I must say.” I laugh and close my eyes, shaking my head side to side. “I know it seems crazy to imagine that my sister-in-law was the one who donated the sperm to conceive my child and Roy's, but we love each other, and both Roy and Baby wanted to see me happy. I’m not telling you this to relieve the control Jonathan has over me; he has his burdens too, and we’ve had to deal with some demons from the past. But I’m sharing this so you know that a master loves intensely; he always puts our happiness and well-being above his own, even if sometimes he confuses our capacity to bear and deal with the truth.”
I fall silent and look toward where she is, waiting for a moment to see if she will come out, but silence prevails again.
“Czar is a good man, Mabel. In his way, like Roy, controlling. I think he might even be worse, but still, he is good,” I whisper, smiling. “When it reached us that he would be judged by the other counselors and might lose his seat in Sodoma for hurting you during the regalia, giving his place to his half-brother...”
“Mr. Gregovivk never hurt me...” she replies sadly, allowing me to hear a sigh. “Why would they judge him for that... You ran away that night...”
“But not for that; he never hurt me,” Mabel interrupts me, speaking sadly. “I don’t want him to lose his seat because of me...”
“I thought you knew about Czar’s judgment.” I bite my lips, unsure if I did the right thing by telling her. “I didn’t mean to bring you more information; I just thought you wanted someone to talk to. Your mind is full of what you’ve discovered, still mourning the recent loss of your friend... Damn, I’m so sorry, Mabel!”
I quickly get up and look toward where she is, stepping forward and gesturing nervously with my hands.
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