Mabel Shot Part 4

" But you're a masochist and strange, more than I already am — I say, smiling and shaking my head slowly in denial. — All this because of what you've been through; there's no danger of it happening to me...
" You don't understand, Bel. The game will use you against yourself. All your demons coming together like a titan, turning against you. And when it’s over, when the game ends... — Macro pauses and rubs his hand on mine. — You’ll be so different that you won't even recognize yourself when you look in the mirror, because there will be nothing left of you, just what the masters transform us into...
" Maybe that's what I need, not to recognize myself. — I relax my body and look out the window. — I need to lose complete control in order to truly know myself and understand what I really need to control, what’s left of my life after that bastard!
" You can do that without having to play; I'm sure of it... — He smiles and extends his other hand, holding my face. — Tell him you've thought it over and won't play, because it's too risky for you. Take advantage of the fact that you haven’t started playing yet, because after that, it only gets worse. At first, it’s good, something that leaves you completely euphoric, then it gets addictive, increasing the toxicity in your body, making you want more...
" There's no way to stop; I can't... — I say softly, trying to pull my fingers from his hand.
" Of course you can! If you're embarrassed, I can ask my lord to talk to this counselor...
" Macro, I can’t... — I pull my arm from his and bump the glass of brandy, knocking it over and splashing it on my sleeve.
" Stop talking nonsense. — He holds my hand and grabs a paper towel to dry my sleeve, and before I can stop him, Macro is already wiping the fabric. — I just need to know his name, then we can put an end to this...
I see him go silent, stop what he’s doing, and leave his eyes fixed on my bare wrist. The large bump around my wrist is still fresh.
" The game has already started, last night... — Macro stutters, lost, looking at me. — You and this counselor are already playing...
" Macro, let go of my hand... — I ask softly, feeling nervous as the waitress appears attentively at our side.
Macro releases my arm, and I pull my sleeve down, looking embarrassed at my legs. We remain silent as the girl removes the tipped-over glass and wipes the small pool of drink. The silence remains heavy, with only the green eyes of the redhead staring at me.
" You're playing with a sadist... — Macro whispers, looking at me. — And don’t even think about lying to me, because that right there on your wrist is clearly a mark from a master in sadomasochism...
I see him go silent, his face turning completely red, looking like a big tomato, his eyes nearly popping out of their sockets from how wide they are.
" As far as I remember, there are only two sadomasochistic masters in Sodoma, and one of them is married. The other... Oh my God, Mabel! — He raises his hand to his mouth, covering it, staring at me in disbelief. He lowers his hand little by little from his lips. — You’re playing with...
" Czar Gregovivk — I finish the sentence for him, whispering the name of the Russian.
" You should’ve asked the waitress to bring the whole bottle — Macro murmurs, lifting his spiked coffee to his lips.
" Seeing you in this state, it’s almost like I just said I accepted to play Jumanji with the devil himself. — I look at him nervously, not understanding why he’s reacting this way.
" You have no idea what you've done. — He bites his lip, looking thoughtful, staring out the window. — This man is a danger to you, Bel.
" What do you mean? — I ask him, not understanding why he said that.
Macro returns his eyes to mine and lets out a long sigh, leaning forward and crossing his arms on the table.
" Czar is a counselor in Sodoma, a master in sadomasochism, but he also... — Macro stops talking and rubs his face again. — At one of the gatherings I went to with some subs, I heard stories about him. — Macro lowers his voice, making me even more anxious.
" Wait, are you telling me you guys get together? — I say, laughing nervously, imagining how that must work. — Is it some kind of tea party for trained puppies?
I picture a bunch of women and guys gathered together, bonding over jokes and giggles, adoring their lords.
" Oh, crap, Bel, I'm being serious! — Macro shakes his head in denial. — Some subs are afraid of him, and the women who get involved with this counselor are very selective. He only chooses those who already have an advanced level of masochistic submission. — He scrunches his nose and shakes his head from side to side. — Because of a different attraction he has.
"You're talking and talking, and I still don't understand anything. — I stop laughing, feeling anxious.
" Mabel, I realized immediately when you told me how you felt when Nate hurt you, that you might enjoy something heavier. But what you accepted when you started this game with that man is different...
Macro closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, tapping his fingers restlessly on the table.
" Erotic pain is dangerous, Mabel, because it’s much more addictive than any drug you can find, and with each dose of pain you feel, you will want more, more, and more. Because it will always be too little; it will never be enough. — He takes a deep breath, as if thinking about what he just said. — That’s why only a few girls approach him, only those who truly want to feel a lot, a lot of pain and enjoy... Damn it, I don’t even know how to explain this!
"Explain it directly, because so far, I still don’t understand — I say to him, snapping my fingers in anguish. — I know Mr. Czar is a strange man; I was scared of him too the first time I saw him, with that goat mask. Yet something about him... I can’t explain...
I close my eyes and shake my head, not understanding my thoughts. I was frightened of him at first, but strangely, the dark Russian gives me more of a sense of security than dread. Maybe because I’ve already fallen into the hands of a monster; not everyone scares me now.
" You don’t need to talk to me about pain, Macro. Not for me, who has felt it in every corner of my body — I say to him, and I see him shaking his head in denial.
" Not that pain, the kind that man can cause. Gregovivk is known for being a strict, perfectionist master who is quite controlling. — I relax my shoulders and look at Macro, unable to hold back a laugh. — He tends to have some different practices than other masters, some that are quite questionable even for BDSM. There are rumors that once he chained a submissive who agreed to play with him for several days inside an abandoned hospital.
" What happened to her...
" She became addicted to him, completely addicted, like a junkie who would do anything to get just a little more cocaine. — I take a deep breath and rub my temples. I understand what Macro thinks might happen to me, but there's no way to mess with the mind of someone who has already been messed with.