Chapter 115 - The Taste of Poisonous Aftermath
The King hadn't dropped by yesterday, Zezi was very grateful about that.
He was indeed giving her space.
Gwen had been right.
She had looked like she was dying, because after she was done reading to her the story of Mr Meat and Mr Blood Meat, she needed to use the bathroom and had caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror.
Needless to say, the sight was horrifying.
Today though, she felt so much better.
Looked so much better too.
Lady Delice had been right.
Feeling as good as she felt, without any further delay, Zezi started putting her plan into motion.
Zezi had, had the time to think overnight, while she laid in bed like a weak vegetable and Gwen had sat down on the dressing chair, staring at her from across the room, refusing to go home and retire for the day.
"What if something happens to you while I am not here to help."
When Zezi had persisted, Gwen had thrown in a threat.
"Should I just tell the King so that he might stay with you?"
That had done it.
They stayed in silence.
After that, Zezi had the time to think about what next to do with her feelings for Valerick.
She couldn't keep avoiding him. She couldn't lie to herself anymore that she felt nothing but hatred for him either.
The option of blaming it all on the matebond was also out of question.
None of that would work, so she had to admit it to herself, once again, that it did exist.
But what next?
Zezi had weighed the consequences of different scenarios in her head.
What would happen if she just accepted him as her mate and lived the life he wanted her to live, rule by his side, as his Queen.
Didn't that mean she would just be throwing away what had happened to her kind away like it never happened?
Wouldn't she be letting her kind down by doing that?
What about all the people that had died during the recent war he was with her people before the submission?
What about the suffering that her kind were going through right now? She had seen the agreement that was signed before she ran away from. The Capital.
Her park was the most favoured because she had given herself up, yet, she needed what was expected from them every month would leave many living the lives of servitude.
What about the other packs?
What was he doing to them?
The fact that she didn't know made her fear the worse. If he had successfully kept it away from her, and never even once talked about it, there was a high chance that he was doing something he knew she would certainly never agree on to them.
So would her accepting the matebond be the end of her fight?
Would she just turn her back against everything and everyone because she found a better life? Because fate had been 'kind' to her and given her a better 'life'?
What would she feel if she was part of the rest, and someone else filling her position had done that.
She mustn't forget that whatever he was with her, he was like that because a matebond existed between them. If the matebond wasn't there, he wouldn't even be half as kind.
He gained his name for a reason, and no matter how much he tried to hide that with his cloak of kindness and sweetness, he was still the vampire that many feared because he was just violent and dangerous.
She mustn't foget that. She mustn't forget want he was, what she was, what their differences meant in this world.
He was the predator and she was the prey, these castle walls shouldn't fool her.
Or maybe she was wrong, maybe she was overthinking this.
Besides, why think too much and assume, when she could just ask.
Her hand rouse up to the door and she knocked against the wooden door, before she got a response.
"Come in."
She pushed the door open, slipping into his office.
His scent flooded into her nostrils and she almost felt it knock her to knees and pull her away from her focus.
She would have easily blamed that on the matebond before but right now, she knew that was useless and untrue.
He looked up from his pile of work, to her.
He had caught on her scent when she came down to the hallway, having her blood along with their recent intimate action, strengthening the bond, allowing him to feel a little bit of her emotions.
Right now, she was feeling conflicted and he wondered why.
On top of it all, he was happy that she had come to him again.
Truthfully, this giving her space thing was starting to tire him and it had only been just one day!
He had to bury himself in work for the day to be over as soon as possible and even then, he had been agonizingly aware of how slow the time was.
A smile snaked up his lips and he didn't fight it.
Seeing her always made him happy.
"You are here. Another coincidence?" He asked, leaning back into his seat and looking up at her, her emotions flashing in her eyes for him to see.
He had seen lust.
That was certain.
"Are you busy?"
"Not anymore." He closed the files he had been looking through, and in a flash he was in front of her.
She didn't seemed startled by how fast he moved, like she always did. She must be getting used to it.
Good.
"Valerick." She said, looking up at him.
If she noticed that he was once again trapping her against his desk, she didn't show it.
"Yes?"
"I have a couples of questions to ask you and I want you to answer me, truthfully."
He took a moment to access her, his body tensing ubderneath her warm palm, when he felt her running her hands over his shirt, up to his collar.
He rested his hand at either sides of her, making her sit slightly at the edge of the table.
She was struggling to remain focused and her struggle only made him excited.
She wanted him bad.
Whatever this question was, he would like to get it out of the way as fast as he could.
"What is it? Ask me."
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