Chapter 101: I Would Never Forgive Myself...
ETHAN
My heart was pounding uncontrollably in my chest as I hurried toward the hospital entrance. It was a miracle I’d managed to get here without ending up in an accident myself. My hands were trembling, and I could feel the sweat on my back and forehead.
*Please, she has to be okay.*
But despite trying to avoid it, my mind was filled with intrusive thoughts, imagining the worst-case scenario.
As I entered the waiting room, completely out of breath, I desperately searched for a familiar face among the people there, and my eyes quickly found the worried, familiar faces of my friends.
I walked up to Will and Anna, and the look in Anna’s eyes was enough to tell me how serious the situation was.
“Where is she?” I asked, my voice trembling as the tightness in my chest grew worse.
"They took her to the emergency room," Will replied, as Anna seemed too distraught to answer.
“How is she? I need to see her.”
“We can’t,” Anna said, her voice shaky as if she were about to cry.
“What do you mean, 'we can’t?'” I looked back and forth between them, desperate and impatient.
“Calm down. It seems like all we can do now is wait,” Will said.
“I can’t wait! I need to see her. I need to know how she is.”
“Listen, you need to calm down,” he said, stepping in front of me and gripping my shoulders firmly. “Panicking won’t help right now. I know it’s hard, but you have to be patient. They’ll give us news soon.”
“You’re asking me to be patient when I have no idea about her condition? Get out of my way, or I’ll find out myself.”
“At this moment, you only have two options: wait here until the doctors do their work, or go in there and get thrown out by security. And believe me, your panic isn’t helping anyone.”
“She’s going to be okay. I know she will,” Anna said, taking my hand.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, trying to calm myself.
“Come on, let’s sit down,” she said, gently pulling me toward the chairs.
I sat down, my legs trembling. In the following minutes, the feeling of panic and agony consumed me as guilt tormented me. If anything happened to her, I would never forgive myself.
My brother and Zoe arrived shortly after, followed by Jack and Zara a bit later.
Bennett offered me nothing more than a firm squeeze on the shoulder before sitting beside me in silence. Somehow, that small gesture was enough to keep me from falling apart.
Every second felt like an eternity. I couldn’t stop thinking about the time we’d wasted over the past few weeks. If the worst happened, I wouldn’t be able to live with it.
The mere possibility left a bitter taste in my mouth, and the knot in my throat nearly choked me. I desperately wished I could turn back time and fix every mistake, every lost moment.
I was on the verge of losing my mind, and the tension from everyone else’s worry around me wasn’t helping, nor were the ringing phones and footsteps in the hallway, which only made my anxiety worse.
Suddenly, Zoe crouched down in front of me, holding my hand.
“She’s going to be okay,” she said, forcing a smile to try to comfort me.
But my thoughts wouldn’t let me focus on anything other than my own despair and torment.
She had to be okay because if she wasn’t, I didn’t know what I’d do. I might just lose it.
“The doctor,” Zara said, drawing everyone’s attention to a gray-haired man approaching the reception desk.
He then walked toward us.
“Good evening. Are you relatives of Miss Ellie Brown?”
I shot to my feet.
“How is she?” I asked, ignoring any formalities.
“Good evening, doctor. We’re her friends,” Zara said, stepping in right after me.
“I want to see her,” I insisted, impatience.
“Calm down, Ethan. I’m sorry, doctor, he’s…”
“The boyfriend,” I said, cutting her off. “Where is she?”
“I’m sorry, but it’s still not possible to see her. She’s being taken for some tests now. We need to rule out internal bleeding and any complications from the concussion she sustained, but her condition is stable for now.”
“So, she’s out of danger, right?” Anna asked as I struggled to process everything he had just said.
It didn’t sound good.
“Her vital signs are stable, but we can’t yet rule out the possibility of complications.”
Hearing the word “complications” felt like a punch to the gut. It meant she was still at risk.
"When will we be able to see her?" Zoe asked, before I could ask about the complications.
“It may take a while, but don’t worry, you’ll be updated on her condition as soon as we have more information. I need to get back now; excuse me,” he said before walking away.
As I watched him leave, a wave of dizziness hit me. My stomach churned, and nausea made me feel like I might throw up.
Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath before returning to my seat.
Sitting down, I gripped the arms of the chair tightly, trying to stop my hands from trembling.
Cold sweat formed on my forehead as I sat there, feeling helpless and distressed.
The guilt only grew as I thought about how I might have been able to prevent the accident. I would never forgive myself.
As the hours passed and the night dragged on, it became increasingly difficult to keep my composure. All I wanted was to go in there and see her.
My friends continued offering silent support, though they were visibly worried too, sharing anxious glances and occasional whispers.
The waiting felt endless, and the uncertainty about her condition hung over all of us like a dark cloud.
I had already lost track of how much time had passed—maybe four or five hours—when the doctor finally returned, increasing the tension in the room and causing all of us to rise from our seats.
My heart raced, yearning for any information, and I held my breath unconsciously as a long pause seemed to follow before he began to speak.
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