Chapter 95: On the Edge of Control
ETHAN
On Tuesday night, everyone planned to meet up at the bar. I didn’t want to show up, but Bennett had insisted, saying it would be even stranger if I didn’t make an appearance, because it would be obvious I was trying to avoid her. But that was exactly what I was trying to do.
A week ago, she had sent me away, and I’d accepted it because I knew it was just the consequence of my choice.
But all I did when I got back to London was throw myself into work, trying to sort everything out so I could come back. And here I was, a week later, back in Manhattan.
I’d like to say it had nothing to do with her, but that wouldn’t be the truth. I couldn’t stay away. I needed to be around, just to know she was okay, especially after seeing her like that.
And when she walked into the bar beside Anna, with a relaxed smile on her face, I could finally breathe a sigh of relief. She didn’t look so bad.
But her smile faded the moment she saw me. Then, she quickly looked away.
The two of them came over and took their seats around the table. Anna cast me a look of pure disdain before completely ignoring me.
Will was mad at me, too; he was only talking to me as much as work required. Zoe was also upset, though at least she wasn’t giving me the silent treatment.
Zara and Jack wouldn’t be coming tonight, but they probably weren’t happy with me either. I don’t know why I listened to Bennett; I shouldn’t have come.
I focused on my drink, just listening as the conversation moved from one topic to another over the course of the night.
Eventually, my gaze was drawn to her, but she didn’t look my way even once.
The women were discussing something about work when Anna’s voice snapped me out of my thoughts, grabbing my attention.
“Why don’t you tell Zoe about your lunch with the new hot scientist who’s interested in your _research_?” she said loudly, looking directly at me right after.
That made it clear the information wasn’t meant for Zoe but for me. Anna was trying to make me jealous, and it worked.
My whole body tensed. From what I understood, there was a new guy at work who was interested in her, and apparently, they’d had lunch together. What did that mean?
I couldn’t help but look at her, wanting to see her reaction. She sighed and shook her head in disapproval.
“It wasn’t anything like that. We just talked about work.”
“You said, hot scientist?” Zoe asked, playing along.
I knew they were only trying to get a rise out of me, being completely ruthless. But I also knew I deserved it.
“You have to meet him. He definitely looks like he walked straight out of some erotic fantasy,” Anna said.
Will cleared his throat.
“We’re still here, ladies.”
“Then listen quietly,” Zoe retorted. “I need more details,” she said to Anna.
“His name’s Jorrick. He was brought in to replace El last week, but it sounds like they offered him a permanent position in the lab.”
All I could think was: _What the fuck kind of name is Jorrick?_
“No, girl, I meant physical details,” Zoe corrected herself.
As I listened to them, I kept my focus on Ellie, trying to decipher any reaction from her. But she just sat there silently, listening to the two of them chatter.
I could bet she knew exactly what they were doing.
“Oh, he’s blonde, has blue eyes, and is totally ripped." Anna continued.
“That’s enough for me,” Will said, standing up. “Anyone else want a drink from the bar?”
He looked at Bennett and then at me. He probably just felt sorry for me. But I wasn’t about to be ungrateful. I got up, and Bennett followed right after.
We followed Will to the bar counter and took a seat.
“Hope you’re satisfied,” Will said. “Thanks to you, I have to listen to my wife talk about another man like she cares.”
"Sorry, but it’s not my fault you guys married such ruthless women."
“What are you going to do?” my brother asked.
“About what?”
“About the guy in the lab.”
“What am I going to do?” I looked at him. “What do you think I should do?” I asked sarcastically. “It’s over, Bennett. It’s none of my business.”
"Keep telling yourself that; maybe you’ll believe it someday."
“Do you always have to be such an asshole?”
“He doesn’t have to do anything,” Will said. “After all, it was his choice. Just deal with the consequences, which include watching her go out and have sex with other men.”
I closed my eyes, trying not to picture that.
“Damn, Will… If you’re that mad, you could just punch me,” I said.
He laughed, making me laugh too.
“You really have no intention of fixing things?” he asked.
I knew he genuinely cared about Ellie. It was clear from the concern in his expression.
“I tried.”
"If trying for you means walking away, then… yeah, you really tried," Bennett said sarcastically.
“Fine. I know I deserve all of this. Keep going.”
“If the thought of another guy being interested in her doesn’t bother you, I guess we don’t need to keep going,” Will said, bringing my irritation to the surface.
“You think it doesn’t bother me?” I asked through gritted teeth, struggling to keep my anger in check.
“You seem pretty calm.”
“What do you expect me to do? Let the anger and jealousy consume me? Confront her and demand an explanation?”
That was exactly what I wanted to do, but I had no right.
“I can’t do that. And you know exactly why. Like you said, I made a choice.”
“And it looks like you’re already regretting it.”
“Maybe. But it doesn’t matter anymore.”
“Don’t fall for his talk, Will. He thinks he can handle it, but let’s see how long that lasts,” Bennett said, turning to look at me. “It’s only a matter of time, and you know it. Like a ticking time bomb. You can’t run from it. And I know that because it’s in our genes.”
"Go fuck yourself," I retorted.
As usual, he was enjoying my suffering. But the worst part was that I knew he was right. I was slowly losing control, and I didn’t know how much longer I could hold on.