Chapter 60:
ELLIE
Our kiss deepened, not rushed, just exploring and savoring each other at our own pace. When his lips pulled away, he stroked my face with his thumb.
"Deal with this and stop running."
"Give me a minute before we start that conversation," I said.
My head still wasn’t completely clear. Pushing against his chest, I stepped out from the space between his body and the wall.
Only then did I notice the luxurious boudoir-style suite around me. The soft lighting, cream-colored walls, and furniture in deep browns and reds. A huge bed occupied one corner, and a round table sat in the center of the room. I glanced around, looking for a bathroom.
"To the right," he said, stopping behind me. I leaned down to grab my dress, but he snatched it from me. "You won’t need that."
"What?"
"I want to spend the night here, with you naked in that bed with me."
"You’ve lost your mind. Our friends..."
"By now, they’ve probably figured it out, and honestly, I couldn’t care less."
"But..."
"No buts." Grabbing my thighs, he lifted me and started walking, and I wrapped my arms around his neck for support. "We’ll talk in bed."
"Naked?" I raised an eyebrow. "That’s not playing fair."
"I need some kind of advantage since you tend to overthink."
Approaching the bed, he sat down with me on his lap, leaning his back against the headboard. His hands settled on both sides of my hips.
"You want to talk like this?" I couldn’t help but smile, feeling his cock rub between my legs. "Shouldn’t that thing be asleep by now?"
"That’s impossible when you’re around. Now stop being a perv and focus on the conversation, Brown." I bit my lip, trying not to laugh. *Focus, Ellie.*
I pulled the sheet over his hips.
"No distractions," I said, making his lips twitch into a smile before he turned serious again.
"Let’s be honest, we both know I care about you more than I’d like to admit. And I think my behavior may have given you some hope that what we’re doing could become something more. I’m sorry for that. Maybe my mixed signals have left you confused."
"It’s not your fault."
"Yes, it is."
I shook my head.
"No, you’ve always been clear that you were only interested in sex. I’m the one who suggested this arrangement and let it happen."
"Do you regret it? I know I said I’d respect your decision, but I’m not sure I can. I was hoping we could enjoy this a little longer."
"As much as I understand you, and even though I know you can’t offer me more if we keep getting closer, I’m not sure I’ll be able to handle it."
"We only have two days left. I want to make the most of the time we have. When we get back home, I promise you won’t have to see me again. Can you give me that?"
"You say you care about me, and you also seem to enjoy having sex with me, but none of that is enough to make you want to try something more?" I really needed to understand. How long would he let his trauma keep haunting him?
"This has nothing to do with you."
"I’m sorry, I really am, for what happened to you. I can only imagine how hard it must’ve been since you’ve decided to shut yourself off for good." I said, feeling tears threaten to form in my eyes.
"Shit. I’m sorry. I’m being a selfish asshole for asking this of you. I don’t want you to think this means nothing to me, I love being with you. Hell, I really care, and I know you deserve more than I can give."
I nodded.
"I hope one day you can get past this."
"It’s my choice, Ellie."
"No, it’s not just a choice. I know exactly what it’s like. I know some things can stay with you and stop you from moving on. I’ve been betrayed too, just in a different way. And it hurt so much, in a way I thought I’d never get over. Even now, it still hurts a little, for reasons I can’t fully understand. But I’m moving forward because I decided not to let what happened define who I am and keep me from making risky choices. Because I’d rather make mistakes and have regrets than spend my life never really living. What I’m trying to say is, your fear of trusting someone again might keep you from living and meeting amazing people."
"You always manage to surprise me, but unfortunately, we think differently about this."
"I’m sorry." I couldn’t help but feel a wave of sadness and frustration, realizing that nothing I said would make a difference. "So... do you think two days is enough to show me what you do when you’re not being a jealous lunatic who books a suite next to my ex?"
"Does that mean you want to continue?"
"I realized that if I don’t, everything I just said makes no sense."
"Come here." He pulled me closer, holding the back of my neck, pressing our bodies together. "I’ll show you what I do." He smiled mischievously before kissing me.
His hands found the clasp of my bra on my back, undoing it and freeing my breasts before he shifted us in the bed, laying me down and pressing his body against mine.
I wrapped my legs around his hips, my hands exploring his ass and back. Moving his hips slowly, he rubbed his erection between my legs, making me moan. His lips left mine, brushing along my jaw, moving toward my ear.
"You won’t regret it, I promise."
"We’ll still have to deal with our friends," I said, making him pause and look at my face.
"Don’t worry about that, Will’s going to want to kill me."
"Yeah, Will’s like an older brother."
"It’s annoying."
"If he really does want to kick your ass, I’d thank him. You deserve it and you know it."
"I’ll deal with him. Now can we stop talking about Will while we do this?" I laughed.
"I think he’d find it hilarious to know you’re thinking about him while you’re hard."
"Stop it, or I’ll have to shut you up."
"You can try." I teased. He rubbed harder in response, reigniting my desire.
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