Chapter 90: On the Edge
ELLIE
I never thought I’d meet the woman who gave birth to me, so when my mom called, telling me this might be my last chance, the circumstances couldn’t have been worse.
Seeing her like this, lying in a bed, taking her last breaths after I’d spent my whole life resenting and judging her for abandoning me, only served to show that I was nothing but a selfish, horrible person.
None of this was her fault—she was just another victim, an addict—and yet, I had refused to know anything about her.
Looking at her face now and knowing that I’d never get to hear her voice or see her smile made me feel even worse. I had thrown away every chance I’d had, and now I’d have to live with that forever.
Since I got here, I hadn’t been able to step away from the bed where she lay, and I had no idea how many hours I’d been awake.
The doctor said she only had a few hours left, and I wanted to stay with her until her last second, even though it was tearing me apart inside.
Standing beside her bed, I had been watching her for hours, absorbing every detail of her thin face framed by dark hair. Despite her age and the effects of drug use, I could still see some resemblance between us.
After finally gathering the courage, I took her hand, touching her for the first time. Her skin was cold.
I couldn’t hold back my tears. But if there was even the slightest chance she could hear me, I had to try.
“I... I’m sorry. I’m sorry for being so selfish. I hope you can forgive me, and I want you to know I forgive you.”
Someone knocked on the door, and I stepped back, wiping my tears with the back of my hand.
It was my mom.
“Can I come in?”
“Of course.” I forced a smile for her.
“Sweetheart... maybe you should go back to the hotel, take a shower, eat something, and rest a bit. You can come back afterward.”
“You know I can’t.”
“Actually, there’s someone outside who wants to talk to you.”
I narrowed my eyes at her. Someone?
“Who?”
“Your boyfriend’s here.”
What? Was she talking about Ethan? No. He was supposed to be in London.
“No. He wouldn’t...”
“He’s waiting outside, and he looks a bit tormented.”
I couldn’t believe it. How dare he?
“I’ll be right back,” I said, feeling anger rise inside me. This couldn’t be happening.
I hurried out of the room, and as soon as I closed the door behind me, my eyes found him.
He was standing beside my dad in the hallway. He was really here. But why?
“Hey...” he said hesitantly, but I just turned around and started walking down the hall.
How dare he come here? I never wanted to see him again. I kept moving, making my way through the hallways, heading anywhere that would take me away from him.
“Ellie?”
I heard his voice behind me.
No. Not now. I spotted an exit sign on a door at the end of the hall and headed for it.
I could hear his footsteps behind me, but I didn’t stop. Pushing through the door, I entered a dimly lit, empty corridor.
I took a deep breath, trying not to break down.
I heard the door open again as I moved away from it, so I started walking again. My mind was in chaos, and all I wanted was to escape it.
“Ellie? Where are you going?”
His footsteps quickened behind me, and then I felt him grab my arm.
“No! Don’t touch me!” I shouted, jerking my arm free from his grip.
“Hey, calm down... we need to talk.”
“Go away!” I growled through clenched teeth, shoving his chest.
“Go away? In the last few hours, I went from London to New York after you, then from Los Angeles to Santa Barbara, and now that I’ve found you, I’m not going anywhere. First, you’re going to tell me what’s going on here, and then we’re going to talk.”
“You shouldn’t be here. You’re the last person I want to see right now.” I tried to walk past him, but he blocked my way.
“Why did you leave? Why didn’t you come to me? Whatever you think you saw...”
“No. No.” I shook my head. “I don’t know why you’re here, but there’s nothing for you here. Now, get out of my way.”
“I’m not letting you go anywhere until you explain what’s going on. Why are you here?”
“You made your choice. So do us both a favor and leave.”
“Damn it, Ellie! Just... tell me!”
“You don’t have the right anymore! Just go back to London, to her, and to your damn job!”
“To her?”
“Get out of my way!”
“You came to my apartment. You saw her there. Is that why you left?”
“I should never have gone.”
“Whatever you’re thinking, it’s not like that. I just…”
“I don’t care. None of it matters anymore. The only thing that matters is that you left, without a single word, and now... now it’s too late.” I shoved him, forcing him to move out of my way.
Leaving him behind, I went back to the room to grab my bag. I knew I was about to fall apart. This was too much. I couldn’t handle it.
“Sweetheart, what happened?” my mom asked as I left the room.
“I just... I just need a breath. Could you stay with her until I get back, please?” I asked, feeling my eyes fill with tears.
“Of course, my love.”
When I walked out of the room again, he was standing in front of the open door. His curious eyes were scanning the room behind me, where the woman who gave me life was lying.
Ignoring him, I started walking away, heading for the exit. But soon, I heard his footsteps behind me.
“Who is she?” he asked, catching up with me.
I kept ignoring him.
“Ellie?”
He didn’t have the right to know anything about me or my life anymore.
“Please, baby...”
I stopped abruptly, feeling suffocated. I couldn’t think or breathe properly anymore.
“You want to know who she is?”
He nodded.
“Then promise me you’ll leave if I tell you.”
“Ellie...”
“She’s the woman who gave me life, and she’s dying, and that’s why you shouldn’t be here. Because your presence is the last thing I need.”
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