Chapter 44:

ETHAN

Damn. Why didn’t I check the hallway? I moved closer to him before anyone else decided to come out of their rooms in the middle of the night.

"Don’t say anything," I muttered as I started down the stairs.

He followed me. Of course, it wasn’t going to be that easy to shake him off.

In the living room, I dropped onto one of the dark brown leather sofas. Bennett sat on the arm of the other one across from me.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

That was the same question I’d been asking myself since I woke up next to Ellie. A question I didn’t have an answer to. I sighed, feeling frustration wash over me.

"Whatever you’ve got to say, I don’t want to hear it."

"Did she agree to this?"

"You think I forced her? Do you really think that little of me?"

"Just be careful."

I nodded, grateful he wasn’t launching into a lecture about why this was a bad idea. He turned to head back upstairs.

"Bennett?" I called. He stopped and faced me again. "Don’t tell anyone. Especially Zoe."

A wicked smile pulled at his lips. Damn. Miss Brown would rip my balls off if anyone found out.

"That didn’t sound like you were asking for a favor, little brother."

Hell. Couldn’t he act like a decent sibling just once?

"Don’t you think we’ve had enough of your wife meddling?"

He seemed to think it over, then nodded. "Alright. I wasn’t planning on saying anything."

"Thanks."

He left, leaving me alone with my thoughts. I stretched out on the sofa, resting my head on my hands, staring at the ceiling.

What the hell were we doing? She’d made it clear she wasn’t interested in anything casual, and I’d come to terms with that. I knew I couldn’t offer her more than that. So what did this mean? Did she change her mind? At least she didn’t seem to regret it, considering she hadn’t kicked me out of the room earlier.

After a hellish week, touching her was all it took to make me feel calm and satisfied. If I closed my eyes, I could still feel her squeezing around me.

The memory of her breasts bouncing as she rode my cock was enough to make me hard. Shit. I was really screwed. Miss Brown was gorgeous and sexy, and she made me lose all control—this wasn’t good.

I needed to know what she was thinking, to figure out what we were doing. But for now, I needed sleep. I had a morning run planned with Neil, and I only had a few hours left to rest.


*


My chest burned as I struggled to remember how to breathe properly. Neil stopped a little ahead of me, turning back to jog towards me.

"Looks like being back in New York has made you soft," he said, handing me a water bottle with a grin.

The bastard didn’t even look tired, while I was panting, nearly doubling over to catch my breath.

"Maybe Will’s been taking it easy on you," he joked with a smirk.

He had no idea.

"It’s actually the opposite. Lately, Will seems determined to make everything harder for me." I took the water bottle from his hand.

"Oh, so are we finally getting into it?"

I took a long drink.

"Into what?" I asked, starting to walk again.

"I’ve heard rumors about you and Ellie." He kept pace beside me, running a hand through his dark hair.

"Of course, you have," I muttered, staring at the road ahead.

"And?"

"And what?"

"Is there something going on between you two?"

Even though Neil had become my closest friend while I lived in London and I usually felt comfortable talking to him about almost anything, this particular subject wasn’t just about me.

I knew Ellie would probably care if he knew about us, but I also knew Neil wouldn’t tell anyone if I asked him to keep quiet.

"I guess there is," I finally said.

"You guess?"

"It’s complicated."

"Complicated how?"

"She’s looking for something different than what I can give her. In fact, she made it pretty clear she wasn’t interested in the 'bullshit' I was offering."

"Okay. So why is it complicated if she’s not interested?"

"Because I slept with her last night, and now I have no idea what that means."

"I see. So that’s why you’re dragging ass? You could’ve just skipped the run." He smirked, making me crack a small grin too.

"Fuck off."

It was nice to spend time with a friend I could talk to, knowing I wouldn’t be judged.

Neil had been there during the disaster that was my engagement, witnessing how it wrecked me and dragged me to rock bottom. He tried to help me pick up the pieces and move on.

I knew he’d been through something similar before he met Rosie, so in some ways, he really understood what I was going through.

Feeling the sun on my face, I gazed out at the green fields around us, stretching towards the mountains on the horizon. We’d been running for nearly two hours along the road near the chateau.

"Talk to her. There’s no other way to sort this out," Neil said after a long pause.

"That’s not the problem."

"Then what is?"

"What if she says it was a mistake and kicks my ass again?"

"Are you starting to like her?"

"No. That’s not it."

"Then what? Why do you care?"

I thought about it, deciding to be honest.

"I’m attracted to her in a way that makes no sense, like she belongs to me. But I know it’s just desire, and it’ll fade eventually."

"Or maybe you’re falling for her."

"That’s bullshit. I just said I’m not emotionally into her."

"There are a lot of ways to be in love, my friend. Has she been on your mind a lot?"

"Fantasizing about a woman doesn’t mean I’m in love."

"I’ll take that as a yes. She’s already taken over your thoughts and your dick. If you keep going like this, we both know where it’ll end. If you’re planning to stick with your idea of staying single forever, you shouldn’t go any further."

"Or if she’s changed her mind, this could be casual, and when the desire burns out, we’ll move on."

"Things are never that simple, and you know it."

"Are you advising me to give up the best fuck of my life?"

"I'm just trying to tell you that this could end badly. And although I'm eager to see you find a woman who will show you that not all of them are cheating bitches, it's up to you to decide what to do. Either way, stop torturing yourself wondering what she might say and just talk to her already."

I nodded. I really did need to find out what she was thinking.

*

When we got back to the house, everyone had already eaten breakfast and was getting ready to head to the next vineyard we’d planned to visit. I wasn’t in the mood for another tour, so I decided to stay behind, thinking I might find a signal to check some work emails.

Maybe I could get ahead on some things. I didn’t like thinking about all the work that would be waiting for me when I got back.

After taking a shower and having breakfast, once everyone had left and I was alone, I grabbed my laptop and settled into a small room on the second floor of the house, where two navy blue sofas sat in the center.

A few hours later, I was focused on answering emails when the door to the room opened, catching my attention. Miss Brown walked in, surprising me, and turned around, after what sounded like the door being locked.