Chapter 82: You Know What It Means

ELLIE

The night felt strange since everyone had already noticed that we were fighting. I was reluctant to use the word “over,” but deep down, I knew that’s what was happening. I didn’t want to admit it because I wasn’t sure if I could handle being without him and going through all that again.

Sitting on one of the couches, I had lost count of how many glasses of wine I’d had. If Anna hadn’t insisted so much, I wouldn’t have come. It seemed like she and Will had something important to tell us. The two of them stuck together all night.

Why the hell was she hiding whatever it was from me? I’m her best friend; I have the right to know before anyone else.

Eventually, my gaze would wander over to Ethan. I couldn’t help it. He hadn’t spoken a word to me all night, even though I could feel his eyes on me at times.

The more wine I drank, the stronger the urge to drag him into a room grew. I stared at the wine glass in my hand. That meant it was time to stop.

I stood up and headed to the kitchen. Leaving the glass on the counter, I turned around to observe the others in the living room. All the couples seemed happy.

Before I met Ethan, it seemed easier to deal with the fact that all my friends were in couples. And if we were really breaking up, it would be even harder.

Suddenly, he got up from the sofa where he was sitting and started walking towards me. I looked away, trying to ignore everything he made me feel.

Entering the kitchen area, he stopped to my left at the end of the counter.

“Can we talk?” he asked, forcing me to look at him.

He was dressed in black, his hair combed back—an almost irresistible combination.

“I don’t know if it’s a good idea. Not here.”

“I don’t want to fight.”

“If you haven’t changed your mind, I think it’s inevitable,” I said, crossing my arms.

“I need you to understand that I can’t keep dealing with this.”

“See? It’s not a good idea. My answer is still the same. I’m not leaving my apartment just because you don’t trust me.”

“You’d never accept this if you were in my position, and you know it’s not normal. What will it take for you to understand that things will never work out if they stay like this?”

“They can’t work if you don’t trust me, Ethan.”

“Do you think it’s easy for me to see you around him?”

“You know I love you, and I understand what you’ve been through, but it’s not my fault, and I need you to trust me like I trust you.”

He sighed, shaking his head.

“Then… move in with me.”

What? Move in with him? For a moment, my chest filled with happiness and warmth. But a second later, I realized why he was doing this, and the feeling quickly faded, replaced by anger and resentment.

“I can’t believe you’re doing this,” I said, shaking my head.

“What?” He furrowed his brow.

“How can you?”

“Isn’t this what you’ve always wanted? Maybe it’s the best thing for us right now.”

His words only made me more and more disappointed.

“You’re such an idiot…”

“Hey, you two! Come over here!” Will called, interrupting us.

I started to walk back to the living room, feeling the anger rising inside me. He couldn’t be serious. How dare he? He was ruining everything, acting like a damn jerk.

I approached the sofa where the others were seated. Anna and Will were standing, both smiling. I stopped next to the couch where Zoe and Bennett were sitting, trying to pretend that Ethan hadn’t just fucked everything up.

I felt his presence behind me, and then Anna started speaking.

“Well, we have some news, and we wanted you all to be the first to know.”

“Spit it out, Harris!” Zoe said impatiently.

Anna and Will exchanged a smile, and then Will placed his hand on her stomach. *She… No way…*

“I’m pregnant!” Anna said, filling my chest with warmth and happiness, and my eyes with tears. I rushed to hug her.

“Oh my God! I can’t believe it! I’m so happy for you guys,” I said, hugging her tightly.

“I know. I’m counting on you to keep me from losing my mind.”

“You can count on me.” I pulled away so the others could congratulate her, then approached Will.

“Congratulations! You’re going to be Manhattan’s hottest new dad,” I joked, hugging him.

He laughed.

“Thanks, El.”

“Take care of her, okay?”

“Will do.”

“I should have guessed when you didn’t drink anything all night,” I said to Anna when Zara finally let her go.

It seemed like the two of them would have more in common now. I had to admit, I would feel a little jealous about that.

My eyes searched for Ethan. He was congratulating Will. I was so happy for Anna, but I couldn’t help thinking that while they were living an amazing moment, expanding their family, Ethan and I were moving closer to disaster. This wasn’t what I had imagined for us.

*

At the end of the night, after celebrating the news, I left Bennett’s apartment, right after Anna and Will, leaving the others behind.

I was crossing the street towards my car when I heard footsteps behind me. I turned to see Ethan following me. Taking a deep breath, I started walking again.

I stopped in front of my car, trying to stay calm.

“We need to finish that conversation,” he said behind me. “Why am I an idiot for suggesting you move in with me?”

“You know why.”

“No, tell me why.”

I turned to face him.

“Do you really think I would move in with you, knowing you’re only doing it out of jealousy and insecurity? You don’t really want this, and I know that.”

“I thought it was what you wanted…”

I closed my eyes, trying not to lose my temper. He had no right to use this against me.

“No. Don’t you dare.”

“I’m just trying to make things right, Ellie.”

“Make things right? You can’t be serious. Can’t you see how absurd all of this is? You’re demanding that I move when you’re thinking of moving to another country.”

“That’s not how things would be.”

“No? Are you saying you wouldn’t take that trip if I accepted this ridiculous proposal?”

“You know it’s my job. I thought you understood that.”

“Yes, I understand. I understand perfectly because it wouldn’t be the first time someone put me aside for their damn job! But you know what? I’m not doing that again! I won’t put my life on hold for someone who will leave me at the first opportunity!”

“Ellie…”

“No.” I turned to open the door but stopped, turning back to face him. “If you go, don’t bother coming back. Got it? I won’t be waiting.”

“I know you don’t want that.”

“You have to choose. And if you choose to go, you know what it means,” I said before getting into my car.