48. VANYA: NEVER LEAVE YOU

“Because he didn’t want to face your rejection,” Ezra said softly. “At least that’s what I think. He said that he didn’t want to see your pity.”
Pity? I frowned. What I felt was far from pity.
“Where is he?” Dev asked him.
Ezra hesitated, eyes darting over to me. “On the roof,” he muttered. “He threatened to throw me off if I didn’t leave him alone.”
“How did he seem? Still shaken or. ..” The question was left hanging uncompleted in the air but we all knew what he meant.
Ezra ran a hand through his hair as he entered the bathroom. His eyes locked on my face for a few seconds before they dropped to my chest when I moved.
“Ezra,” I scolded. “Stop staring at my boobs and answer the question.”
“I’m allowed to stare, aren’t I?” Ezra asked. “Obsidian is still shaken but he won’t admit it. He’ll probable be back to his asshole self in no time so I wouldn’t worry.”
“This isn’t funny.” I got out of the bathtub and wrapped a towel around my body. “I need to talk to him to make sure that he understands that what happened doesn’t change how I feel about him.”
“Vanya—”
“It’s not a good idea,” Ezra interrupted Devrim. “We’re safer in our room. The reporters were handled but they could easily sneak in claiming that they’re somebody else.”
“Exactly!” I pointed a finger at him. “What if one of them sees Obsidian? What do you think is going to happen then?”
Ezra’s eyes narrowed. “I’ll go—”
“You’re not the problem,” I interrupted him. “I need to talk to him so he can come back to the room.”
“Obsidian is shaken and probably pissed,” Dev muttered. “The last thing he’s going to do is talk to you. I know that he’ll say something that’s going to hurt you and I don’t want that to happen. You can talk to him once he calms down enough to return to the room by himself.”
“No, I can’t.” I crossed my arms and glared at him. “I know that we’re all in this together and I love the fact that you want to look out for me but you won’t always be there to protect me from his words. I know that he won’t mean what he says but I need him to understand that it doesn’t change anything.”
Our stare off continued until Devrim looked away with a low curse. I watched as he stood and stepped out of the bathtub. Water droplets ran down his body as he searched for another towel.
My eyes followed one particular drop as it rolled down his muscular back to his ass. It rolled over one ass cheek and down the back of his thigh, but my view was cut off when he turned around.
“If you want to talk to Obsidian you better get dressed, rosebud,” he growled. “Keep staring at me like that and we won’t be leaving this room at all.”

***

“We will be waiting right here for you, okay?” Dev muttered. “If you need us just yell.”
I nodded, trying to fight off the nervousness that threatened to make me chicken out. It wasn’t the first time I had to talk to him but I felt like this time was different. I was sure that it wasn’t the last time we were going to have to talk about my feelings for him, but if it meant that we had a chance at a happy future I would do it over and over again.
Ezra opened the door.
Giving Dev a smile, I turned around and sucked in a breath that I slowly blew out when I moved forward. For a moment my eyes darted up to the sky. There wasn’t a star in sight because of the clouds filling the sky. A blast of cold air hit me as I stepped away from the door.
Shivering, I wrapped my arms around my waist and searched for my mate. I nearly had a heart attack when I finally spotted him.
Obsidian sat on the ledge of the building, one leg dangling over the edge and his other bent at the knee to support his hand holding a bottle. With my heart about to jump out of my chest, I moved closer to him, afraid that I might startle him and make him fall to his death.
The closer I got to him, the easier it was for me to see him better.
In the distance I could make out the light from other buildings but they were too far away to cast any light on the roof where we were standing.
“I fucking told you to leave me along,” Obsidian suddenly growled, startling me.
I swallowed. “Please get down from there.”
Obsidian froze with the bottle halfway to his lips. “It’s cold. Go back inside.”
He pressed the bottle to his lips and swallowed a few sips before he lowered the bottle again.
“I’m not going inside until we talked.”
He growled. “There’s nothing to talk about. Go inside, Vanya.”
I flinched at the harshness in his voice. “You left me. I thought that we were going to walk out of that room together and you’d still allow me to take care of you.”
“I’m not a fucking kid,” he hissed. “I don’t need you to take care of me.”
“It’s not what I meant.” I sighed.
Obsidian took another swig from the bottle. This time he nearly downed half the bottle before he lowered it again. It was turning out to be harder than I imagined it to be. Why couldn’t he make it easy for me?
“I don’t pity you,” I said softly. “I feel a lot of things for you and pity is not one of them. You don’t have to be ashamed of having a panic attack be—”
“Vanya,” he hissed. “Leave me alone. I don’t to talk about what happened and I sure as hell don’t want to talk to you.”
Devrim had warned me. I couldn’t turn around and walk away knowing that he was still shaken after being locked inside the small room for hours. He was drinking which had to be a sign that he wasn’t fine like he said he was.
“You’re being an asshole,” I hissed. “I told you that I’m not going back inside until we talked and I meant it. I don’t care if I freeze while I wait for you to snap out of your pissy mood and talk to me. Look at me, Obsidian! Does it look like I’m—”
I gasped, stumbling backwards when he suddenly jerked around. The bottle flew through the air and slammed into the brick wall a few feet behind me. Glass shattered into a million pieces, breaking the silence around us.
I blinked and he was suddenly in front of me, glaring down at me with his lips pulled back and his sharp teeth on display. Fear hit me hard but I tried to push it away. There was no way I was going to allow him to force me to leave without saying what I came to say.
“How many times do I have to tell you that I love you before you believe me?” I whispered. “I know that you have a hard time accepting words as the truth and I understand why after what that bitch did to you, but I’m not her. I’m not Lindsey. I will never hurt you like she had.”
Obsidian turned away from me.
I waited for him to say something. But he didn’t. Obsidian remained silent and with each passing second, it got harder to keep the tears from escaping. My shoulders slumped as the fight drained out of me.
“I love you, Obsidian. You tied us together by bonding me and nothing’s going to change that, but I won’t be able to do this with you year after year on end. We all have issues but I thought that we were going to work through it together. I want us to be happy.” My eyes darted up to the sky when a raindrop landed on my forehead. “I’ll prove it to you. I’ll do anything you want me to do if it means that you’ll believe me when I tell you that I love you.”
He growled as he ran a hand through his hair. “Go inside.”
I stared at his back until it was clear that he wasn’t planning on turning around. He wasn’t planning on talking to me. The rain started falling faster but I didn’t move an inch. I meant what I said, I would stand in the freezing rain until he realized that I had meant every word I said to him.
“There’s nothing in this world that will change how I feel about you. Not your weird obsessions with pain, not your nightmares. . .or your panic attacks.”
I could barely see him. My clothes clung to my skin, soaked with rain and icy cold. It felt like my skin was being struck with blades. I sucked in a shaky breath and carefully sat down.
“I’m not Lindsey,” I whispered. “I’m not Lindsey. I’m not her.”
Warm hands cupped my cheeks, making my eyes snap open. The face hovering a few inches from mine was not the face I wanted to see. He pressed his forehead against mine for a few seconds before he pulled away and picked me up.
“It’s no use, sugarplum,” he whispered against my ear. “Let’s get you out of the rain before you get sick.”
“No.” I squirmed but his hold only tightened. “No, Ezra!”
Panic hit the closer we got to the door. I looked over my shoulder at Obsidian. He was turned slightly, head bent and shoulders slumped. He needed me now more than ever and no matter what I had to do, I wasn’t going to allow him to push me away.
“Put me down!”
“You’re going to get sick,” Ezra growled.
“I don’t care! Put me down!” I kicked my legs and pushed at his chest with my hands. “Put me down, Ezra!”
“Stop!” Obsidian’s voice slashed through the air. “Put her down.”
Ezra stopped walking but he didn’t put me down or turn around to face Obsidian when he spoke. “I’m taking our mate inside before she gets sick and end up in the hospital.”
“You said that you won’t interfere between us anymore,” Obsidian growled.
“I’m not going to stand back and watch as you insult her. It’s fucking cold Obsidian and she’s freezing.”
“Ezra.” My eyes snapped over to Devrim who hovered in the doorway. “Let her down.”
Ezra’s hold around me tightened painfully before his hold loosened and he lowered me to the floor. I turned around to face him the moment I was free but before I could utter a word, he moved past me and disappeared into the building.
My shoulders slumped. I was getting tired of the push and pull. Why couldn’t we all just be happy together? I squeezed my eyes closed as the tears spilled over and joined the raindrops rolling down my cheeks.
“Sweetness.”
“I hate it when you’re always fighting,” I croaked. “I hate that you’re always pushing us away when you should be talking to us and allow us to help you.”
“I’m trying.” He gripped the back of my neck as he pressed his forehead to mine. “Do you mean it?”
I blinked at him in confusion.
“That you love me?”
“Yes,” I breathed. “I love you, Obsidian. We all love you.”
“I need air,” he breathed. “Go inside, please. I’ll be there soon.”