65. DEVRIM: CONFESSIONS

What was so great about the cliff?
Going near the edge scared me especially after almost losing both Obsidian and Lara. It was dangerous to go anywhere near the cliffs and I always warned the youths about it.
It’s where I found Ezra, sitting a few feet from the edge and staring off into the distance. He knew how I felt about anyone being at the cliff—especially alone.
I hesitated in the woods, waiting until the sun started to set.
Ezra didn’t turn around when I approached which made me hesitate before I took a seat next to him. With my knees bent and elbows resting on them, I locked my fingers together and stared into the distance.
“He’s right, you know,” he said, breaking the silence. “Obsidian is right.”
I swallowed. “About what?”
“About me acting like them because I don’t like who I am. I want to be more like humans because their lives are so much simpler than ours. They don’t have to constantly worry about the dangers.”
I studied him silently as I tried to find the words.
“I fear that because of what happened with Reeves that humans might start to doubt us. I fear that Reeves’s plans worked. He wants us dead because of what happened with Melanie.”
“We never forced her to do anything,” I told him softly. “Melanie fell in love with Darial on her own accord. We never forced anything between them.”
“I know, but I can’t help but wonder.”
“What exactly are you bothered about?” I asked him.
Ezra didn’t answer immediately. He sighed and reached up to rub a hand down his face. “I’m not sure. It’s what he said that has me overthinking, but he was right about it. I act like them because it makes me feel better about myself. I don’t like who I am. I don’t like the fact that I always have to worry. I want to be like the humans—carefree and happy.”
“Humans worry,” I told him. “They worry a lot. They worry about school and their jobs. They worry about money and a whole bunch of other shit we don’t have to worry about.” I paused. “We’re lucky to have what we do, Ezra. We might not be as free as the humans, but we’re lucky to alive.”
“I never asked to be a shifter. I—”
“Not one of us asked to be what we are,” I interrupted him, “but we can’t change it. We can only make sure that we don’t change into what humans think we are. We are animals, Ezra, but we’re human too.”
“Does Vanya see that too?”
He looked at me then, making me see the confusion he felt. I swallowed and smiled at him.
“Vanya sees us as we are. We don’t have to pretend to be someone we’re not when we’re around her. She’s like her mother.”
Ezra nodded. “I thought that she might have changed over the years as she grew up. I thought that Reeves might have influenced her too.” He sighed. “I’m glad she hasn’t changed much.”
“Except for her temper.”
We fell silent again. My eyes darted up to the sky as my mind drifted towards Vanya and Obsidian. Were they doing okay? Has he told her yet? Shit, how was she going to react to his confession? Maybe I should’ve stayed to make sure that she was going to be okay.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Sure,” I said without hesitation. “Anything.”
“How. . .uhm. . .you and Obsidian. How are you attracted to him?”
My lips tilted up into a small smile as I leaned back on my hands and stretched my legs out in front of me. Air left my lungs in a whoosh. If I told him the truth I might say too much, but if I said nothing at all then he might take it wrong.
“It’s always been there, but I never acted on it until he made a move. The easiest way to explain it is by making comparisons. It’s the same as your attraction towards Vanya.”
“He scares me sometimes.”
I smiled at him. “He scares everyone, but I don’t want him to change.”
“Me neither,” he muttered softly. “I’m glad that Vanya found him when he tried to end things. It wouldn’t be the same if he wasn’t here.”
I nodded. Ezra looked at me with his brows dipped into a deep frown. I noticed how well-rested he looked. His eyes darted over my shoulder and stayed there for a few seconds before locking with mine.
“She asked about her mother when she woke up.”
It didn’t surprise me. I knew she was going to start asking questions, but I was scared to answer them. What if it made her hate us?
“We need to tell her, Dev.”
“I know, and we will. But Obsidian and Vanya need to sort things out first.”
“What do you mean?”
I looked away from him and sat up. “Obsidian mated Vanya. He—”
“How the fuck did he manage that?” he yelled, jumping to his feet. “How could he do that without her permission. How—”
“If you shut up I might actually answer your questions,” I growled.
His lips parted but he didn’t utter a word. I hesitated for a moment before I got up. I needed to be ready to stop him if he decided to storm off.
“It wasn’t planned, Ezra. I thought that we’d need to be in our shifted form for us to mate, but when Obsidian bit Vanya the first time they fuck, it started part of the mating. They’re not officially mated, but their bond is strong.”
“Strong?” He made a strange motion with his hand. “Explain.”
My hands curled into fists. “Obsidian got sick. The healer said it was because he was away from his mate, the longer they stayed apart, the sicker he got.”
“Was? Vanya’s back at the cabin? She’s home?”
I nodded and before I could utter another word or tackle him to stop him, Ezra shifted and took off into the forest.