37. DEVRIM: AN APOLOGY

I sensed her before I saw her.
Getting to my feet, I waited and soon enough, Vanya stepped out from between the trees. She was staring at the ground but as if she could feel my stare, her eyes shot up. Vanya sucked in a sharp breath and froze. Her hand around the strap of the bag tightened.
My eyes darted past her to Orion.
Clothes, he mouthed.
With a nod, they spun around and in disappeared from sight.
Vanya who had heard them moving, turned. “Hey! Where are you going?” she called after them in slight panic.
I stepped forward, making twigs snap underneath my paws which drew her attention to me again. My eyes stayed clued to her face, watching all the emotions flashing in and out of her eyes.
Vanya was scared.
She was silently trying to figure out whether she should run or stay. Not that I blamed her. It was only the second time she’d seen what we looked like in our animal form.
The animal in me wanted her to run: it was eagerly waiting for the chase to start. The human part of me wanted her to follow the logical part of her mind instead.
She’d get hurt if I had to chase her.
A whimper fell from her lips when I stopped a few feet away.
My eyes darted to the bag when it slipped from her fingers and fell to the floor.
“P-please don’t k-kill me.”
I moved closer and carefully rubbed my body against hers. A purr bubble up and escaped. My scent was going to be all over her when I was done rubbing against her.
“E-Ezra?’
I growled and stopped in front of her again. Her eyes darted over me, carefully studying every inch.
“You’re not Obsidian,” she muttered.
How could she possibly know the difference? Vanya had only seen him shifted once.
“Devrim?”
I tilted my head to the side and waited.
She wore a dress that was too tight for my liking because it drew attention to her breasts and the two pointy tips of her nibbles clearly visible through the thin fabric.
Was she wearing any panties?
To answer that question, I pressed my snout against her leg and pushed the hem of the dress up, but before I could catch even a glimpse, Vanya pushed my head away,
“Stop!” she hissed. “Don’t you have any manners?”
I flashed sharp teeth at her and tried again. This time Vanya slapped my snout, making me yelp and jump back in shock and pain. Using my paw, I rubbed the spot she had hit to lesson some of the pain.
“I’m sorry,” she cried, reaching for me but not touching. “It’s rude to sniff me. . .there.”
If I did it again, would she get more aggressive?
The tip of my tail started twitching as I stared at her. Vanya crouched and hesitantly reached out.
I held still and waited. A second later her fingertips brushed my fur. Curiosity and what looked like wonder filled her eyes.
“You’re so soft,” she whispered. “Your fur feels like silk.”
Her hand slid over my head and down my neck. Our females never petted us or looked at us the way she was looking at me.
“Your eyes are kind of freaky.”
I licked her knee before taking a step closer and dropping my face onto her lap. Discretely, so Vanya wouldn’t notice, I tilted my head to the side and sniffed at her.
I purred in pleasure when I realized that she smelled like Ezra and a little bit like Obsidian. All that was left was for me to mark her with my seed. The thought excited me, and this time Vanya noticed.
“Oh.”
Pressing my head against her lower stomach, I pushed until she fell onto her ass. I ignored her shocked gasp and moved my head up and pressed it against her chest.
“W-what are you doing?” she questioned.
I kept on pushing until Vanya was on her back. Careful not to step on her, I braced myself above her. She blinked at me and then lowered her gaze.
Purring, I sniffed along her neck and then licked the skin beneath her ear. Vanya shivered.
The first snap of bone made her flinch. The second had the colour draining from her face, and the third had Vanya squeezing her eyes closed.
Pain filled me as the shift took over. I was breathless by the time it was over. It always hurt to shift forms—it’s why most of us never shifted or stayed in our animal form.
I hesitated only for a second before I shifted and lowered my body on top of hers. Most of my weight was supported by my elbows next to her shoulders. I didn’t want to crush her or hurt her since I knew that the forest floor wasn’t the most comfortable place to lie.
Vanya had turned her head to the right during the last of the shift.
Lowering my head, I pressed my face against the crook of her neck and breathed her in. Vanya was completely frozen beneath me.
I could hear the erratic beating of her heart and smell the sweet scent of her fear.
Licking the skin above her pulse, I raised my head and stared down at her.
“Vanya.”
It took a few seconds for her to react. Slowly, she opened her eyes and turned her head towards me.
She swallowed loudly. “D-Devrim.”
My eyes searched hers. The fear in her eyes remained.
It had guilt flooding me because I knew she was scared of me because of the night before.
“I will never hurt you,” I whispered.
“Y-you were furious at me.” Her eyes lowered. “I didn’t m-mean to read it. I was curious and t-then I was Obsidian’s name at the top. I thought that maybe if I knew w-why he acted like that I could—”
“Vanya,” I interrupted, “those filed are confidential. Nobody but me has the right to read those, and for good reasons. It’s not meant for you or anybody. I know you want to help, but you were wrong by doing what you did.”
She nodded. “I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorry that I scared you last night,” I apologized. “It was never my intention to go off like that.”
“Do you hate humans too?” she questioned. “Deep down inside, do you hate us too?”
I swallowed and tried to find the right words to make her understand. “I hate the humans who. . .created us. I hate what they had done to everybody in the facility. I hate that Obsidian had to suffer through what he did because of them. But I understand that not all humans are like those who abused us.”
Tears filled her eyes and slowly slid down her temple and into her hair. “Did they. . .did they really. . .rape him?”
Pain shot through me. Instead of answering I captured one of her tears with my lips. What could I tell her when she obviously read more than what I thought she had?
“I saw his name on top and the word caught my eye.” She sniffed. “Tell me Dev, please.”
I shook my head. “I can’t tell you anything, rosebud. You know that.”
“Because I’m not one of you.”
I nodded. She didn’t need to know all the details. Nobody did, but unfortunately I had too. It was my duty to protect them and made sure that they never suffered the way they had again. Unfortunately I knew that nothing could take away Obsidian’s pain or the memories that haunted him.
“He needs you, but he doesn’t know it yet,” I whispered. “We all need you more than you’ll ever know, Vanya. No matter what we do or how we act, promise me that you won’t give up on us—especially not on Obsidian.”
Her expressive eyes darted over my face and after a second’s hesitation, she nodded. “I promise.”
I leaned down and captured her lips. Vanya didn’t immediately kiss me back which hurt a little. It took a few seconds for her to react to the kiss.
“I’m sorry,” I muttered in between kisses. “I’m sorry about last night.” I bit her bottom lip and soothed the pain with my tongue. “I didn’t mean to yell at you. Forgive me, rosebud?”
Breaking the kiss, I leaned back to stare down at her.
“What do you want me to do to make it up to you?”
My eyes dropped to her swollen lips when she licked them. It took a few minutes for her to answer me.
“I’ll let you know when I come up with something.”