REWRITTEN CHAPTER 65. DEVRIM: CONFESSIONS
Food was the last thing on my mind but I knew that Vanya needed it.
She was only skin and bones. I couldn’t cook for her myself and she was too preoccupied with caring for Obsidian that she didn’t even bother to make a meals.
Running a hand through my hair, I blew out a tired breath as I made my way over to where Ezra sat.
Unease hit me. Ezra sat a few feet from the edge of the cliff, staring at the setting sun. For a moment I had feared that he might be considering to end his life like Obsidian had tried to do years ago.
He hadn’t been at the house since I took Obsidian there. His actions were confusing me. We had always been close but this distance he had put between us scared me just as much as the thought of never seeing Vanya again.
Was I going to lose him too?
I silently took a seat next to him and rested my elbows on my knees. My eyes locked onto the blue ocean and for a few seconds I wondered what it would be like to travel. We could go somewhere where we would all be free to be ourselves but then I pushed the thoughts away because I knew that if we ever left the island nothing would be the same.
“Is he dead?” Ezra asked softly.
“No.” It was on the tip of my tongue to tell him that Vanya was looking after him but I stopped myself just in time. “He’s getting better.”
“He’s right, you know,” Ezra said after a few minutes of silence.
“About what?”
He swallowed loudly. “He’s right about me acting like humans because I don’t like who I am.”
“Ez—”
“I want to be more like them because their lives are so much simpler than ours. They’re free to do whatever they want and we’re stuck here having to follow their stupid rules.” He sucked in a breath. “I act like them because it makes me feel better about myself. I don’t like who I am and the fact that we always have to worry.”
“You don’t think that the humans worry?” I asked him. “They worry a lot.”
Ezra scoffed.
“It’s true. They worry about school and their jobs. They worry about money and a whole lot of other things we don’t even have to think about.” I paused. “We are lucky to have what we do, Ezra. Although we might not be as free as the humans, we still have a lot of things we should be thankful for.”
“I never asked to be like this,” he growled. “I—”
“None of us asked to be what we are,” I interrupted, “but we can’t change it. We may be part animal, but we’re human too.”
“Does Vanya see it like that?” he asked so softly that I almost didn’t hear him.
Ezra looked at me, allowing me to see the fear and confusion he felt.
At the moment things between the four of us was a mess. We would either be able to sort this out or not. It was almost like an experiment—it would either be a success or a failure.
“I think that Vanya sees us for who we are,” I muttered. “We don’t have to pretend to be something we’re not like we do every time we go into town.”
Ezra smiled. “She grew up to be like her mother and not her father.”
“Yes, she did.”
His eyes dropped. Reaching out, he ran a hand over the grass. “I fear that what happened is only the beginning. Reeves want the humans to fear us. Do you think that he still blames us for what happened with Melanie and Darial?”
“Melanie and Darial. . .” I hesitated. “They were. . .fated to be together just like Vanya is fated to be with us. If things had happened differently I think that it would still have ended the same.”
“What if we could have done more to help?” he questioned. “What if we could have prevented Melanie from getting killed?”
I shook my head. Maybe if we had been paying attention to the smaller details we might have been able to help, but none of us had expected Reeves to kill them.
“Reeves is locked up,” I told Ezra. “He won’t be able to hurt anybody else.”
“But Joy is still free.”
Our eyes locked and held for a few seconds before he looked away.
“Vanya asked me about her mother in the hospital after she woke up,” he said after a while. “I think that we should tell her the truth before she hears it from somebody else.”
I ran a hand through my hair. “We can tell her, but not everything.”
“But—”
“She’s already going through enough, Ezra. The last thing we need right now is for Vanya to completely distance herself from us.” I stood and stared down at him. “Let’s just take one day at a time, okay?”
Ezra nodded.
“Will you come home with me?”
My heart dropped when he shook his head. I lingered but he remained silent. Turning, I slowly walked away.
Ezra needed to return home on his own. I wasn’t going to force him. I only hoped that he returned soon because without him our little family was incomplete.