49. DEVRIM: FORMING BONDS

I jerked awake, breathing heavily and covered in sweat. The dream had already faded to the back of my mind by the time I figured out where I was.
Wiping a hand down my face, I sighed and carefully got out of bed so I didn’t wake the others. I walked over to the window and pulled the curtain aside to glance outside. It was still raining but not as hard as before. Dropping the curtain back into place, I looked at the bed and frowned.
Vanya was cuddled up to Ezra’s back, both fast asleep.
Sometime during the night while I was waiting for Obsidian to return to the room I had fallen asleep. He wasn’t in bed or the chair he usually sat in whenever he couldn’t sleep which made me fear that something might have happened to him.
I calmed my breathing and tried to think logically over the panic that was starting to fill me as different scenarios filled my head. My first instinct was to wake Ezra so we could go search for him, but it would leave Vanya unprotected.
As I was struggling against my inner battle, a sound from the bathroom drew my attention. I froze for a few seconds before I hurried forward. The moment I entered the room, I smelt him.
Searching the dark, I found him sitting in the corner. I hesitated a few seconds before I slowly approached him.
“I didn’t hear you come in.”
He swallowed. “I got back a few minutes after you fell asleep.”
“Why didn’t you come to bed?”
Obsidian didn’t answer me. My eyes dropped to the knife he was busy twisting between his fingers. I couldn’t smell blood so I knew that he hadn’t hurt himself or anybody else on his way back to the room.
“You should change into dry clothes.”
He grunted.
Knowing that it was useless, I took a seat next to him but made sure that there was enough distance between us so I didn’t accidentally touch him.
“Are you planning on sitting here the whole night?” I asked him.
“There’s only six hours left until daylight,” he muttered. “You should go back to bed.”
“Can’t I keep you company?”
“I don’t want to make small talk, Dev.”
I turned to face him. “No, you want to get lost inside your head. You want to overthink things which will make you fuck things up again and I’m not going to allow you to do that. Besides, I’m not planning on making small talk.”
He glanced at me.
“Iris called to tell me that her father will be taking care of the press,” I told him when he remained silent. “We’re invited to dinner on Friday too.”
“It’s not a good idea,” he said. “Dinner, I mean. I don’t care how he handles the press as long as he doesn’t involve us.”
“Are we just going to ignore your involvement in Darial and Melanie’s relationship?”
“I can’t change what I did, Dev,” he said.
“No, but you can change how you’ve handled things so far,” I told him.
“You sound like Ezra,” Obsidian growled.
“And you should listen to him more.” Without thinking it through, I reached out and took hold of his fiddling hand. “Does she know that Iris is her half-sister?”
His eyes snapped up to mine. “H-how do you know about Iris?”
My eyes darted between his, taking in the panic. What was he so scared of? “I connected the dots,” I muttered. “You can start fixing things with Vanya by making up for your lies. I understand why you made those promises to Melanie, but she’s dead now and there’s no need for you to keep lying.”
Obsidian pursed his lips and looked away. As he silently stared at the wall, I dropped my attention to the hand I held.
He was trembling but I wasn’t sure whether it was from being cold or being lock in the room. I placed the back of his hand on my palm and spread his fingers open. Using my fingertip, I traced his skin the way Vanya loved to do with my hand.
“What are you doing?” Obsidian rasped.
I smiled at him. “Touching you.”
“You never touch me.” He frowned down at our hands.
“Because you set boundaries with Vanya and I want to respect it too. I don’t want to do anything that will make you uncomfortable.” My hand had paused when I started speaking, but I resumed my movements. “Vanya likes doing this with my hands. It feels good because her hands are so soft and her touch is so gentle.”
“It feels like you’re teasing me,” he hissed. “Are you teasing me, Devrim?”
“Maybe,” I whispered. “I like teasing you.”
“Do you, pet?” he questioned.
“I love it when you loose control.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Is that so.”
I nodded. Obsidian silently studied me, eyes darting over my face and then down my body. I gasped when his hand suddenly shot out and pushed me back. He was on top of me before I could suck air into my lungs.
“Are you sure you want to tease me?” he asked. “You might not like what I do to you when I loose control.”
“We both know that I love everything you do to me,” I breathed, feeling the excitement rising when he pressed the tip of the knife he had been playing with to my skin.
He smirked, reminding me of the day month ago. The position we were in was exactly how things started between us. Back then my only concern had been to protect Vanya. I had no idea how much I was going to love the things he did to me.
“Is it working?”
I blinked up at him in confusion, but it quickly faded when I realized what he was talking about.
“He’s healed.”
“Good.” He pressed his other hand to my throat. “Did you tell him that I gave him some of my blood to heal him?”
I shook my head.
“Good boy,” he purred.
My breathing sped up as he slipped the tip of the knife down my skin to the band of my pants. He leaned down, making his warm breath fan my lips. So close but he wasn’t making a move to close the distance between us and kiss me. His fingers against my neck twitched when he slipped the blade further into my pants.
“I’m scared that if I continue touching you that I’m going to hurt you,” he whispered.
“You won’t hurt me,” I said with confidence, “at least not in a way that I won’t like.”
It looked like he wanted to say more but he didn’t. Obsidian dropped the knife as he leaned down and finally pressed his lips to mine. But the kiss was different from the way he usually kissed me. He pulled back after a few seconds and silently stared down at me.
“What?”
Obsidian blinked. “Do you really want it? You let me do this to you because you’re scared that I’ll hurt Vanya. I—”
“It was in the beginning,” I interrupted him. “Protecting her from you had been my priority then, but it’s not now. I love when you. . .decorate my skin with your knife. I love when you’re rough with me and tell me what to do.”
His eyes darted over my face. I held my breath as I waited for him to pull away from me like he usually would, but he surprised me. Obsidian pressed his palm to my cheek and leaned down to capture my lips again. He growled as he slipped his hand down to the front of my neck. Obsidian’s kiss grew more aggressive as he squeezed my throat, cutting of my air.
“I don’t like being teased, pet,” he whispered against my lips.
“Yes you do,” I breathed. “You fucking love it.”
He bit down on my bottom lip, making my body jerk in pain. I gasped when his sharp teeth broke skin. Pulling away, he licked the droplets of blood before he sat up and climbed off. Disappointment hit, but it faded when he hooked his fingers into the band of my pants and tugged it down. I raised my hips to assist, eager to get things moving along.
Once my pants was off, I sat up and reached for him but Obsidian jerked back, making me pause. Fear flashed through his eyes and I saw it before he could conceal it. Sucking in a breath, he gave his head a shake before he reached out to jerk my body against his.
“Sorry,” he rasped. “I—”
“Bond me,” I blurted out.
“No,” he hissed.
“Obsidian—”
“No!” He pushed me away from him. “I’m not going to fucking bond you. Ever.”
Pain flashed through my chest. His words hurt even thought I knew why he was refusing to bond me. I had always given him what he asked for. I had walked away when I knew I should’ve kept pushing because he told me to, but not this time.
We were a family.
The four of us.
Before Obsidian could get up, I grabbed hold of his arm ad jerked him closer. I knew he was stronger than me which was why I didn’t hesitate to sink my teeth into his neck.
Claws dug into my skin. I wrapped my arms around him and held on tighter as I bit down harder.