Chapter 41
**Bella-Rose POV**
I never considered the time or whether he was asleep by now. I needed James and I prayed he was concerned enough about me to answer the email.
[mail from Bella to James]
To: james.aonal@gmail.com
From: iamfifbel@gmail.com
Subject: I'm scared.
James,
Nana collapsed a while ago. The doctors are saying she has a blocked artery. They are doing open-heart surgery for her right now. I'm scared, James. I don't know what to do.
I feel so helpless. I don't think I can forgive myself if something happens to her. What shall I do, James? I'm going mad thinking about her. Help me, James. Help me from these thoughts.
I need you, James. Take this pain away.
Bella.
[end of the mail]
I clicked on sent as I broke down and wiped my tears that came unbeknownst to me. I stayed strong in front of my family; afraid I might increase their burden if I spoke about my fears. But with James, I could be myself. I can speak to him...unburden myself.
I don't know how I know, but I'm sure he is the kind of person who will support you when in need. He is the pillar you crave to lean on when tired. And I need that pillar now.
Not a second later, I got the reply.
[mail from James to Bella]
To: iamfifibel@gmail.com
From: james.aonal@gmail.com
Subject: Re: I'm scared.
Bella,
Say the word and I'll be there within 30 minutes.
James.
[end of the mail]
I didn't doubt that he can't know where I'm. For a man who can get help for his relation staying miles away, for a man who can shift a patient within a day of receiving the treatment where no hospital allows such thing...In my current state, I believe he can do anything.
I'm confident he will be here within 29 minutes if I said yes. But... I'm not ready. I don't want our first meet to be like this. In a hospital where I'm huddled in a chair looking a tear-stained haphazard mess. I won't be able to concentrate on Nana if he comes here.
In my grief, I overlooked the fact that he called me "Bella" for the first time.
[mail from Bella to James]
To: james.aonal@gmail.com
From: iamfifbel@gmail.com
Subject: No!
James,
I'm not in a state of mind to meet you right now. I might not be able to talk to you freely. All I need from you now is this...your support.
Bella.
[end of the mail]
Suddenly, my phone started ringing. It's an unknown number. My heart started its full throttle for totally different reason. Before I can decide whether to answer the call, it got cut off. I felt like I just dodged a bullet.
[mail from James to Bella]
To: iamfifibel@gmail.com
From: james.aonal@gmail.com
Subject: talk to me
Bella,
Pick up the call. It's me.
James.
[end of the mail]
[mail from Bella to James]
To: james.aonal@gmail.com
From: iamfifbel@gmail.com
Subject: No means No!!
James,
What part of "I'm not ready yet" you didn't understand?
I want to focus on Nana now. If I hear your voice, I may panic and won't be able to utter a single word. I don't feel like it's the right time, James. I want you to decrease my stress not add to it.
Bella.
[end of the mail]
[mail from James to Bella]
To: iamfifibel@gmail.com
From: james.aonal@gmail.com
Subject: What was your childhood dream?
Bella,
I'm giving into you...for now. Don't get used to it.
Tell me about your childhood dream. That one thing you dreamed about becoming when you were a child.
James.
[end of the mail]
[mail from Bella to James]
To: james.aonal@gmail.com
From: iamfifbel@gmail.com
Subject: Re: What was your childhood dream?
I always dreamed about baking. My dream started from the kitchen and I'm still in the kitchen.
What about you? What's your dream?
Bella.
[end of the mail]
[mail from James to Bella]
To: iamfifibel@gmail.com
From: james.aonal@gmail.com
Subject: I hear a but there
Bella,
Why do I get the feeling that there is more to your dream? There is considerable ambivalence from your statement. Don't you like your work?
Pilot- that's what I used to dream about...what I wanted to become when I was a kid.
James.
[end of the mail]
[mail from Bella to James]
To: james.aonal@gmail.com
From: iamfifbel@gmail.com
Subject: what stopped you?
James,
Curiouser and curious-er. What stopped you from achieving your dream? From your tonal, I can safely say that you are not a guy who can be easily trampled upon. What gives? Who could have stopped the mighty James from getting what he wants?
Bella.
[end of the mail]
[mail from James to Bella]
To: iamfifibel@gmail.com
From: james.aonal@gmail.com
Subject: don't change the subject
Bella,
We are talking about you. Not me. You tried a good tactic but I'm not a fool to fall over. Now, would you clarify the "but-"
James.
[end of the mail]
[mail from Bella to James]
To: james.aonal@gmail.com
From: iamfifbel@gmail.com
Subject: your obsession with "but"
James,
There is no "but". You just want to hear a great tragic line, that's all. Sadly, my dream is just that...to bake.
Bella.
[end of the mail]
[mail from James to Bella]
To: iamfifibel@gmail.com
From: james.aonal@gmail.com
Subject: on my way
Bella,
You have 2 minutes to come clear. I'm buckling up afterward. You lie one more time and I'll be there in front of you, spanking your cute ass. You want that, Bella moi?
James.
[end of the mail]
[mail from Bella to James]
To: james.aonal@gmail.com
From: iamfifbel@gmail.com
Subject: hold your horses
James,
Cool down. No need to jump the gun. What do you want to know about my dream?
I indeed dreamt about being a baker...but I want to create my recipes standing in the middle of my very own bakery. Amidst my own creation. Not in someone else's one. I have these ideas you see, for expansion.
Nana is stuck in old ways. I want mine to have some extra features.
I want to add wedding cakes to our bakery. It will give us so much coverage.
Another thing is food delivery. Have you ever heard of a food bakery that doesn't have a delivery option nowadays? Meet "Sweet Gum Tree". We are in 2021 and still don't have food delivery deals in our bakery.
I have this idea, but I don't know if it's possible with Nana in-charge, I'm thinking of a delivery app of sorts for the bakery where the customers can customize their cupcakes. It would be fun. I don't know if someone is implementing this or not... but it's a good way to attract customers.
There! That's my dream. Happy now?
P.S- I refuse to speak about you spanking my butt. Seriously, if I don't know any better, I would say you are obsessed with my ass.
Bella.
[end of mail]
[mail from James to Bella]
To: iamfifibel@gmail.com
From: james.aonal@gmail.com
Subject: what's stopping YOU?
Bella,
All I hear is a great mind who has invested a lot of time and effort to create these ideas. What's stopping you from fulfilling them?
P.S- you don't know any better.
James.
[end of the mail]
[mail from Bella to James]
To: james.aonal@gmail.com
From: iamfifbel@gmail.com
Subject: obligation/ duty
James,
Have you ever been bound by duty? By your sense of family obligation? That's what it is for me. Though I work in a bakery, I crave a place of my own.
After Nana fired me, I believed I could start towards fulfilling my dream. But now that Nana has been admitted here...
I'm in a quandary about whether I should try to follow my heart or stay working like before, even though I don't have the money to do the former...I couldn't do it now. Life has a way of kicking you when you're down.
Bella.
[end of the mail]
[mail from James to Bella]
To: iamfifibel@gmail.com
From: james.aonal@gmail.com
Subject: Re: obligation/duty
Bella,
Life is also short. If it kicks you, you can kick right back. You won't get to have another life to experience the things you want most, Bella moi. Live this to the fullest.
James.
[end of the mail]
[mail from Bella to James]
To: james.aonal@gmail.com
From: iamfifbel@gmail.com
Subject: are you living to its fullest?
James,
Thou shall follow what you preach. Hearing you say the words, why am I not convinced that you are not living your life to its fullest? Why am I certain that you haven't experienced all the things life has to offer? Maybe it's time you put it to practice?
Bella.
[end of the mail]
[mail from James to Bella]
To: iamfifibel@gmail.com
From: james.aonal@gmail.com
Subject: Do I have to repeat it?
Bella,
It's about you, not me. If I have to say one more time, I might as well drive there.
James.
[end of the mail]
[mail from Bella to James]
To: james.aonal@gmail.com
From: iamfifbel@gmail.com
Subject: do you threaten everyone?
James,
What's with the tone? Do you speak to everyone like this? Do my work or else you won't live to take another breath? I'm picturing James Bond here.
P.S- I'm liking the vibe.
Bella.
[end of the mail]
[mail from James to Bella]
To: iamfifibel@gmail.com
From: james.aonal@gmail.com
Subject: driving
I'm on my way.
James.
[end of the mail]
