Chapter 45

**Bella-Rose POV**

With a deep sigh, I relented and told them about James and how I "met" him; excluding the contents of the mails. That is only for my eyes. I don't want to share it with anyone.

First, there were gasps and then sighs. Gaining confidence, I started confiding in them what's in my heart that I haven't acknowledged to myself till now.

"He is a conjurer, guys. I feel like I'm on the precipice of falling in love. He does things to my heart...I couldn't...I couldn't explain it. Words are not enough to express what I feel for him. He is a hypnotist. With just a couple of words, he can make me do anything. His words...oh god, it makes you feel as if you are the only one in his world. No one ever made me feel so special. It's a nice feeling. It's addicting. You won't understand unless you experience it yourself", I opened up about my innermost thoughts as I disclosed about James.

"Woah"

"Huh"

"Is this love? Am I falling for him? I don't know...but I couldn't imagine a day without talking to him... An hour without thinking about him. He is in my blood guys. He is my pillar. I couldn't forget him even if I wanted to. And I don't want to. Not him. If he is a dream then I don't want to be in reality again. If he is real then I want to dream only about him. He is special. He may be the one for me", I carried on unaware of the thoughtful expression on Amanda and a frown on Sarah.

"I don't know what to say! He sounds so dreamy. Can such a man really exist?" Asked Sarah.

"Yes, the example is right before you, James. However, I'm afraid he is one of a kind", I said to Sarah with a dreamy look on my face.

I was still fantasizing about James when Amanda opened her big mouth and popped my balloon.

"Wow... he really sounds so dreamy. Have you seen his picture? How does he look?", she questioned sarcastically.

"Umm...that's the thing. I haven't. Never saw his face, never heard his voice, never touched his skin, never smelled his scent. But it doesn't matter. I can close my eyes and picture him in my mind. We connected on a much baser level, you know", I said, still lingering in my la-la land as Amanda's sarcasm went over my head.

Amanda snapped her fingers in front of me and said, "Uhh...news flash Bells. That's called imagination or illusion. Take your pick. You are saying you are falling for this guy you haven't seen or met yet. Don't you think it sounds like you have a few screws loose?" Amanda's insistence finally landed me on the ground.
"It's not like that", I tried to explain to her.

"Honey, as much as I want to agree with you, that's not the case here. You are a 23-year-old virgin who hasn't dated anyone or had a boyfriend before. It's like an alien word to you. So, I can understand you falling for the first guy who spouts a few nice words. Have you ever doubted that your over-hyper mind may have created this illusion of a perfect specimen in your head? Or that this guy may be trying to be courteous to you and you are imagining something that isn't there?" She asked me while giving me a pitiful look.

Anger mounted inside me at her blatant disregard towards my feelings.

"What are you implying Amanda? Yes, I haven't had any male attention but that doesn't mean my mind went off rails. Do you think that I'm so desperate that my mind made up this scenario? If you are wondering about my opinion, I can say that I'm sensible enough to know when a man is interested in me", I snapped at her snarky comment.

"Yes, according to you, he is interested. But have you considered that he might be just flirting with you? Getting his kicks out of you?" Amanda said as she slowly depleted my giddiness.

"I'm 23 Amanda. Not a 3-year-old baby. I think I can differentiate between flirting and genuine emotions"

"Oh ya...what has he told you about himself?" She folded her arms as she grilled me for information.

"It's private", I murmured, avoiding her eyes.

"He hasn't told you anything about himself. Did he?" She nailed bullseye from my guilty expression.

"He is...well, he is 35-year-old and has a relative Agatha", I tried to grasp the straws.

"You see where I'm getting at? You know nothing about him. The age can also be a lie", she mocked triumphantly.

"No, it's not", I almost stomped my foot.

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because...because I saw his silhouette at the hospital", I said as I was reminded of the image, he made that dawn in my mind.

"Are you sure it's him and not his friend or someone else?" Amanda prompted adamant to prove me wrong.

"Umm", though I am sure he is my James, before Amanda's questions doubt started to creep inside my head.

"Are you sure he is a single man in his prime who is looking for his soulmate and not some fling? Guys these days talk to girls for only one thing. Can you guarantee that your James hasn't flirted with you or talked with double innuendo? That he is pure as snow as you paint him?"

I... couldn’t. Because at every chance James tried to do those exact things. But fling? Will a guy do what James did with a fling in mind? No. Not my James.

"You may be in the wrong Amanda"

"I may be right too, Bella. What do you know about this guy? He could be a pervert or a pedophile who likes to jerk off at your emails. Can you prove me wrong? That you are 100% sure he is the man he says he is. And even if he is that man, is he ready for a relationship? Not fling Bella, a relationship! Have you talked about any of this with him?"

"I... I asked whether he is single?"

"And... what’s his reply?" Amanda asked with triumph as I stammered to reply.

"He said...he said, "what if I'm?"

"So, he didn't give you a direct answer. I bet he is texting that email when his girlfriend is sleeping", Amanda started her job of planting doubts with new strength.

"Girl...girlfriend?", my face turned ashen. Could she be true?

"God...you are so innocent, Bella. Haven't you ever heard about stranger danger? About the guys, you met on the internet?"

"But we didn't meet at a dating site", I defended our case.

"That's not the point here. What I'm trying to say is what if he is doing all this stuff to get into your pants?"

"Amanda, I appreciate your concern. But please give me some credit. I can distinguish a pervert from a gentleman. A man with his power doesn't need to talk for hours with a girl to "get" into her pants. I can't vouch for his age or his marital status. I don't need to. Because he could have easily lied to me about himself if he wanted to. And I would believe him, but he never did. He would refuse to answer but he would never utter a lie. I can confidently say that about him."

"That man can move heaven and earth for his loved ones. That man drove at 2 am from his home...stayed outside of a hospital in a car cramped in that small place for ... for 4 hours just to support me. He could have gone home once his legs started cramping or come inside the hospital to relieve some pain. But no. He respected my wishes. He suffered silently. Just to be there for me. Does that scream fling to you? Can you tell me one name...one name of any other man who does this sort of thing?"

"He doesn't have to pay that bill... he doesn't have to bother himself about Nana's doctor. But he did. For me. Because I was crying. One sentence Amanda. I used only one sentence. I said I need you, James. And he came running towards me. Do you still need another proof? I never bothered to correct you when you talked bullshit about me, but with James...I wouldn't hear a single word against him", I threw the napkin I was holding and locked myself in the bathroom.

I can hear Sarah chastising Amanda on the other side.

"That's enough Amanda. If you ask me, Bells is smart enough to decide what's good for her. We never interfered in your love life; she too must have the same courtesy. She never told this to anyone except us. We can't let her down by planting doubts. She needs our support, Amanda. Not criticism", Sarah softly said.
That's a first. Sarah the follower has protested against dictatorship. Now I have seen everything.

"What does she mean about me talking bullshit about her? I never realized I was doing such a thing", Amanda asked confused.

I sighed at her cluelessness. It's not her fault. She was just trying to look after me. A first for Amanda too. But I couldn't tolerate hearing James' name getting maligned.

I washed my face and reluctantly opened the door. Amanda was standing in front of me with Sarah a step behind.

"I'm sorry Bells. I didn't mean to criticize you. I was just trying to alert you. There are all sorts of weird men out there. I don't want you to get mixed up with the wrong sort. Forgive me?"

I hugged her and whispered in her hair, "I know Amanda. And I'm sorry too about saying those things about you"

After our patch up we returned to our movie with a popcorn bowl in hand.

"Since we are in a mood of confessions, I want to confess that I love Scott", Sarah announced.

"That's not a confession. We all know already about it"

"You do?" Sarah asked Amanda.

"Honey, I'm not blind", is her answer.

"Well...I'm thinking of confessing my feelings to him"

This is news. Amanda and I stopped our munching and looked at her in surprise.

"I realized that life is passing by and I'm still there pining. I finally decided to take the bull by its horns"

"That's my girl", Amanda said proudly as mama-bear.

"But after next week"

"Why?" We cried in unison.

"I need to practice. Otherwise, I will start to stammer in front of him", Sarah clarified.

"My turn", Amanda said.

Sarah and I looked at Amanda in confusion. What's there for her to confess about? She talks about herself always. What else is there to hear?

"I'm a virgin"

Pin drop silence ensued. The clock's ticking can be heard.

"Well,", Amanda tried to decipher our reaction.

It took us a few minutes to process.

"Is that even possible?" Sarah looked stunned.

"Has there been a new type of surgery that makes the girls virgin again? Like boob job, nose job, is a virgin job a new trend?" I was confused.

"Seriously? You sound like it's impossible"

"It is", we both said at the same time.

"I lied. Ok. I made up about my sex life. I had boyfriends and we did...some stuff, but not all the way through. That's why my relationships don't last long", Amanda murmured.

"Are you serious? Why didn't you say anything before?"

"I don't want you guys to think about me differently. I'm aware I project the image of slut but I'm not. I just don't know how else to be. I was like this always. I thought you might look down if I confessed"

"We would never. How could you think like that?"

"My first time I tried to; you know...but couldn't. However, that guy spread the rumors about me because I didn't put them out. It was 6 years ago. And it kind of stuck as we aged. So, I tend to take advantage of this misconception"

"I'm sorry Amanda. We could have helped you. You shouldn't have to lie to us. We are friends", I told her earnestly, feeling ashamed about how I thought and looked at her.

"Anyway, enough of this. Bella, I'm sorry for hurting you"

"It's water under the bridge", I waved my hand to show that the matter has sorted.

"Well, I would feel better if you go to my company event in my place"

"What? Are you nuts?"

"Nope. It's a masquerade. No one will recognize you. Even if they do, you can easily say you are from another branch. This is the best chance for you to dance...mingle. You never get to go to these kinds of events working under your Nana. What's the harm in it?"

"But what would I do there? I don't know anyone."

"See this here...this shell you are snuggling inside, I want you to remove it for one evening and enjoy yourself"

"I think she is right Bella. You never get the chance. I get to attend art exhibitions, Amanda has her office parties, but you...you never explore. It's always work-home for you"

"But guys"

"No. I'm not listening to anything. You are going to this hall and that's final"

"I don't know anything about your company Amanda. If I get caught, I don't know what they will do"

"Shh...there is nothing to get scared about. It's Aon Air Line, Inc., I will fill you in on the details. You will go to the ball and enjoy the night"

"But Amanda, I really don't know what happens at such events"

"Bells, please, I would feel better if you agree. Say yes then only I will agree that you have forgiven me"

I took a deep breath and said, "ok. I will go to the ball"