Chaptr 91

**Bella-Rose POV**

With great reluctance, I got ready in black skinny jeans and a dark sky color blouse that made my grey eyes pop out a lot.

I tied my hair in its usual ponytail, applied some mascara and peach-toned lipstick that matches my undertone.

I hesitated within a step of the mirror present in the bathroom. I should look. Check if I succeeded in applying mascara without leaving any blotches.

Since the incident, I have avoided looking at the mirror. I'm breaking one rule- going on a date, why not break another?

With a deep breath, I raised my eyes, looking at myself in the mirror. Huh? I have lost weight. Though my clothes started to hang on me, I didn't take notice till now of how much I have lost.
My cheeks have become sharper. I'm far from bone-thin, but no one can call me overweight now. I must feel glad, but I feel like I lost a piece of myself. Incomplete somehow.

Once, I went on a date where I was unable to control the jitters in my stomach. And there is this date, where I'm getting ready because I have to. To stop my family from worrying about me.

Does that make me a cheat? Then so be it. If I have to mold once again into that old Bella where she pleases everyone, I will do it. For my family.

Meeting Chris in this mood won't do. I gently pinched my cheeks to bring some color to them and practiced my smile. Ya, Chris is better off single. Poor guy, he doesn't know what is going to hit him.

I sighed thinking there goes a wasted night and stepped downstairs just as the doorbell rang. It's half past 6. 30 minutes later than the decided time. Great, a slacker too.

But he helped me when I was the most vulnerable. I could suck up his personality deficiencies for that.

With a huge smile, Chris entered the foyer and stared directly at me. "Wow!"

A red hue laced my cheeks. A small butterfly danced in my stomach. Only one. With small flutters. It's far from the reaction HE entices from my body. But it is something. A girl can get used to this kind of adoration.

"Hello," I mumbled with a blush, unable to meet his intense eyes.

I felt a pang in my heart, feeling apprehension. Am I doing the right thing? Then why do I feel like I'm cheating HIM? Before Chris could scrutinize my expression, I quickly composed myself.
"Your chariot awaits you, madam," Chris said, extending his arm to me.

He wore jeans and a neatly tucked-in white shirt. His blond hair is in disarray as if he has woken up from a night of sleep just now. His blue eyes twinkled as he scanned me from top to bottom.
I stared at his extended hand for a second, feeling like I'm on the precipice of embarking on a new journey. With shaky hands, I placed my hand in his.

Chris softly rubbed my hand with his thumb and helped me climb down the remaining steps. His touch is not uncomfortable. Just new to my senses.

My family stood on the side of the door. Mom is crying happy tears as Scott extended a handkerchief to her. Nana gave a Cheshire Cat grin as if she got her hands on a bowl full of cream.

Dad stood behind them in the far corner looking pained but kept quiet. Mathew has a proud smile on his face as if this is all his making. Scott is... why do I bother? He is busy stuffing his face.

I slid into the front seat of his Ashton Martin wondering to myself, what am I entering into.

Chris on the drive clutched the steering wheel with his right hand and extended his left hand to hold my hand.

I quickly pulled back, folding them to my waist tightly.

With a frown between his brows, Chris asked, "are you not comfortable with me? Has someone forced you to go on a date with me?"

"No... no. Nothing like that," I blatantly lied and continued, "it's just that it's all new to me. I don't," I wet my dry lips and said, "I can't... can't hold hands without knowing you."

"Okay then. But tell me one thing Rose, do you want to go on a date with me?" Chris asked hitting the bullseye

Do I want to? No. However, he asked me for nothing in return for the help he did. Perhaps, it is unorthodox but I can repay his kindness by being amiable.

"Of course," I said, not meeting his eyes. He took my word at face value and drove past the busy streets whistling to an unheard tune.

"Umm... where are we going?" I was unable to identify the premises.

"It's a surprise," Chris said with a grin.

I frowned, "but what if I don't like the place?"

"You will like it. It's one of my favorite restaurants," Chris replied with confidence.

I gave him a tight smile that didn't reach my eyes. I remembered a certain date where I got to choose the place. Unease pricked my skin at the memories. Am I doing the right thing?
Before I could overthink it, we arrived at the restaurant. It's one of those posh ones with everything having its own bling.

Shiny Victorian chandeliers dangled from the ceilings illuminating the restaurant with a bright glow.

Chris guided me to a corner table with his hand on my back. I prayed he didn't detect my flinch at his touch.

I need to get used to this. Chris seems like a guy who likes to touch a lot. If someone asks me, I would say he is a happy, carefree kind of guy. A total opposite from a certain someone.

Chris held my chair as I sat on it and took his seat. He might be carefree but he is careful and doesn't lack any manners. I must have looked lost in my thoughts as Chris gently called me.
"Rose"

I sucked my breath at the nickname. Even though I don't want it my cheeks turned red at his intimate gaze.

I shouldn't be fazed with his scrutiny but the way he is gazing at me made my hue intensify. It is different from HIS. His was sharp, piercing my soul while Chris's was soft, soothing to my ego.
"Why Rose?" I questioned him to divert myself from finding any inner meaning in his gaze. I have done that once with HIM, I don't want to overthink with another again.

Chris pursed his lips as he casually shrugged and replied, "just like that. Why don't you like it?"
"It's new. No one called me that before", I said as my head bent to cover my face.

"Well, I want to be different from others. Bella is a nice name. But I like Rose. When I saw you the first time, you reminded me of Rose looking delicate and beautiful, pure and innocent. I like the thought of calling you by my very own nickname. Does anyone else call you by a nickname other than Bella?" Chris asked, leaning forward.

"Umm..." I don't know what to say. It's strange. One guy saw the strength in me without ever meeting me. And the other guy, this Chris saw only my delicate nature even after laying eyes upon me.

If it was before this entire fiasco, before I fell for a certain guy, I wonder who would I have chosen, the guy who makes me feel pretty or who makes me feel stronger? It's no use entertaining these kinds of thoughts. I'm in no way ready to open my heart again.

Anyways, who said girls are hard to process? Men are even harder to interpret. Thoughts of HIM tried to invade once again. No Bella, don't go there. He is bad news, remember! I chastised myself, visibly cringing at the word 'news'.

Chris, who saw my reaction, took a different meaning and changed the subject by saying, "So what do you want to order?"

"Since it's your favorite restaurant, why don't you order the popular one?" I asked smoothing the table cloth once again to avoid his eyes.

*Look into my eyes Bella*

His words ring in my ears even when he is not there. I curbed the urge to scan for him. Oh, why must you haunt me? Why can't you leave me alone?

I can't go through my life like this.

*You have no hold over my life. Do you hear me, James? No hold.*

I will not live my life in longing, in regret. From now on, I'm going to live my life to the fullest.
I looked at Chris who was immersed in the menu, at his innocent look, at his careless attitude.
Chris lifted his face from the menu just then and said, "I have the perfect dish in my mind for you."

I gave him my full-blown smile for the first time and said, "I can't wait to try it."

Chris sucked his breath staring at me without blinking. A slow smile spread across his face as if he heard my new resolution.

"Then you shouldn't wait any longer. Your wish is my command Madam," Chris dramatically bowed or tried to with the table between us and hailed the waiter.

Yes. I will give him a chance. Suck on it, James. You have Jacqueline. Why can't I?