Chapter 38

ANTARTECES

"Antarteces, my dear, you are worth it. Consider this as an advance gift because your birthday is near now. You don't have to be so emotional all the time. And Lisa is right. If you are working please take care of yourself also. Do you want to be sick and just lay your butt here in apartment doing nothing? We know you, you will be gone crazy if you don't do chores or work your ass off just for the sake of money. We get it because you want to sustain it to your studies but please just don't forget yourself and your heath because that is your wealth dear, Antarteces," she said and all of us are looking at her in silence. Even Milena's mouth was hang open and also Lisa.

"Sorry for keeping you worry. I promise to take care of myself then," I smiled and Cathy smiled back and nodded.

"Okay! Enough of the drama and let's dig in!" Milena said and all of us laugh and eat.

Even though I lack of having a parents to support me. I am blessed of having them. I am happy but there is also a room inside of me longing for my parents touch but I know that I shouldn't bother them. I have to work and then one day maybe there will be a time that I got to pay them a visit even though they don't want too. I just want them to show that I am fine.

I was neglected by my parents since my brother was born. We were once a happy family. They treat me like a princess and give me everything that I wanted, everything that I desire. My life was perfect. My dad always give me piggy backs whenever he comes home from his work. While mom always cooks my favorite food and prepares my favorite snacks. She loves to braid my hair and sing me a song in my sleep and dad would tell me stories. Then day comes mom learns that she was pregnant. And that day mom started ignoring me but dad explains to me that it is in the process of being pregnant and I should just understand her which I did. I help her in everything eventhough sometimes she would yell at me for no reason and dad would come to the rescue but I felt that he was somehow cold at me. Dad was starting to get cold and never gives me piggy backs again. He always said that he was tired from his work but when I see him in their room. He was always full of energy. And the day comes when mom run into the hospital. She born a baby boy and dad was so happy, I can see it in his eyes and I was also happy because I am going to be his younger sister. He was so cute.

But one day mom yelled at me and telling me words that I can barely understand for my age. She gripped my hair and push me away. The one that she used to braid my hair, now she is gripping and pulling it. The one that she sang me a song now she is yelling me. And dad just looked at me with no emotions at all. And then I saw a black car and a woman came out. I was shock when I saw my things, a luggage. It was my things and I am sure of it. And I can't forget what mom told me.

"Get rid of that child. We don't need her anymore. We don't need a puppet. Go! You pity girl! Get this trash things for you to have a decent life you trash!"

That struck my heart and a pang of pain hit into my heart that I can't breath. I was young but I can feel every inch of the words she said. Doesn't she love me anymore? They are my parents. I was begging and I was crying like a lost girl living in a nightmare. This is just a dream. We were once a happy family. I don't understand. What happened? Why are they acting this way? Did I do something wrong? If I did I can make it up. Just please wake me up from this dream. Wake up Antarteces! Wake up!

I lifted my hand like trying to reach her. I was trembling and my tears were brimming down to my cheeks. "M-mom what is happening? What is going on? I'm s-scared," I muttered trembling in my own words. I want to pinch myself, I might be dreaming. This is way too impossible. This is a nightmare. No, they are my family. This can't be right. I have a brother. I have to take care of him.

God! If someone is up there. Listening to me, please... please wake me up from this dream. It is like real and I am scared. Please help me. I don't want to lose my family. Please if you are hearing me please help me. Have mercy on me.

"You filthy bitch! You are no use to us now. Now leave my house and never come back!" she shouted and the woman grab me by my arm and pull me. I was pulling my arm from her grip but she was too strong compare to my slim body.

Back then, maybe the gods are in no favor of me. Look at me now. In the brink of being a beggar and normal person. Struggling everyday I woke up and preparing my body for the quest. I guess even the gods hates me. What a cruel world I am living at. Why can't I just be a dead person so I can have my inner peace forever? But what can I do this is maybe the play of my life so maybe I should just get along with it and play it until I die... until it is game over for me.

But even though I am thankful of having this friends of mine. A speck of blessing from the above telling me that I should go on with my life. Maybe there is a god that is somehow in favor of me. Maybe that day he hears me. One day I walk where my home was, I misses them. But I ended up hurting myself and crying in the corner. They were so happy like a perfect family that I was once have. I was there once. What am I doing? Why am I doing this to myself? I am just hurting myself and giving myself more a pity other than the word struggle. I bet the gods up there and the gods below are even laughing at me. They are laughing at how miserable I am now. Well, here is what I am telling you.

"You don't deserve to be a God."