Chapter 43

“I am no one’s substitute! I am my own person!”
“You should be happy to be Grace’s substitute. But don’t flatter yourself. If I wasn’t drunk, I’d never mistake you for her,” Will sneered.
That was a lie. He called her Grace the night they met. And he wasn’t drunk then. Emma regretted her earlier decision. Why did she come to check on him at all? He was a despicable, callous, self-centered jackass. Why did she care for him at all?
“There isn’t any comparison between the two of you anyway. You could never be her.”
“You really don’t get. Not at all,” Emma said with a sad smile. Will raised his eyebrows in confusion.
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“The difference between us. I would never laugh at someone who was in pain. I would never ridicule or belittle someone who was hurting just to mask my own hurt.” A resolute calm washed over Emma. Her epiphany set things into perspective.
“What—”
“I pity you, Will. I really do.” He was shocked by Emma’s audacity.
“You pity me? I have everything and you have nothing!” He was irate. His eyes blazed and his body vibrated. “How dare you?”
“I didn’t dare. I’m just your ‘pet’ remember? Just a ‘thing’ for you to have and use whenever you want. My opinion should mean nothing to you. Or did you suddenly start to care about my feelings?”
Will was thrown by Emma’s response. His eyes were wide and he opened his mouth like a fish out of water. He paced for a minute, overcome with anger. His eyes shot over to her. Pain, rage, anguish battled in his gaze. Emma watched as he fought within himself and wondered what would win. He marched closer to her. He held her face in his hands and stared at her.
“Why couldn’t you just…. Why did you have to be so…” Will dropped his hands and clenched his fists. “Emma, why…” he gave up and stormed out of the room. Emma sank down onto the bed feeling deflated and defeated. What had he been trying to say? Why couldn’t you just listen and obey? Why did you have to be so difficult? Emma, why are you like this?
“Because that’s who I am,” she said to the room. “Because despite everything that I have been through, I still have the dignity he said I shouldn’t have.” Scattered pieces of Will’s pain lay around her, like casualties in war. It seemed like she had won this fight, but she never felt so foiled.
That is how it would always be with them. A real relationship could never work between them. The levels of toxicity that they brought out in each other were enormous. She shouldn’t expect any sort of sensitivity for her feelings from him. Every time she did, she ended up hurt or disappointed. Any sweet moments they had were marred by explosive arguments and unresolved anger. The only time they were good together was when they were having sex, and even that hadn’t happened in a while.
It couldn’t keep going that way. Emma didn’t want to deal with it. But her pain came from having expectations of Will. She’d had enough. She had to throw those expectations away. Will could never be who she wanted, just the same way she would never be who he wanted. They weren’t supposed to work.
Will didn’t come home that night. Or the night after, and even the night after that. He did not call her or reach out. Emma stopped staying in his apartment and moved back into her dorm. She focused in her school work, caring for her father and even picked a few extra shifts of work. It took some finessing as they were ready to fire her, but she was able to get her way out of it.
“Yeah, I think I’m going to do it,” Emma said as she spoke to Sabrina over the phone. “I’m going to enter the contest.”
“That’s great! I’m glad! You know, you sound different these days,” Sabrina commented.
“Do I? I guess I’m not as stressed out as usual.” A couple of Will-free weeks will do that. “Dad has been doing great, and I’m excited about the contest.”
“I love it! Well then you better get started.”
“Yeah, I’m going to the library to do some research.”
“Perfect. We’ll talk soon. Bye.”
“Bye.” Emma hung up and gathered her things. There was a spring in her step and a song in her heart. She walked outside of the building, and her mirth dissipated when she saw a familiar someone leaning on his car.
“You’re going to come with me to a wedding,” he said in lieu of a greeting. Emma wanted to chastise him. He disappeared for two weeks and then just comes back into her life with a demand. No explanation, no apology? But Emma took a deep breath and reminded herself that she couldn’t have any expectations of him. She set herself up to be hurt every time. But she didn’t want to go. She suspected that this must be Grace’s wedding. And that wouldn’t end well for either of them.
“Why?” That question held so much weight. Why are you here, Will? Why should I go with you? Why do I feel this way whenever I look at you? Why are you so damn hot?
Will raised his eyebrows as a response.
“You’ll pretend to be my girlfriend. That shouldn’t be anything new for you,” he mocked her.
“When?” she glared at him. Her aggravation seemed to amuse him.
“Today.”
“You want me to pretend to be your girlfriend, at your ex-girlfriend’s wedding? And you just show up here without any sort of warning? Have you lost your mind?”
“We have to go now so that you can get ready,” he ignored her.
“No. I have things to do.” Emma crossed her arms over her chest.
“The only ‘things’ you have to do are the ones I tell you to do,” Will sneered at her. “You have to live up to your end of the agreement for the next three months. So that means you do what I say when I say it.”
“Whatever,” Emma gave up and got in his car. Arguing with him drained so much of her energy. She lamented the loss of the stress-free days she had without him. Going to that wedding would be difficult enough. She had never met Grace and already didn’t like her. This unknown woman had caused her so much emotional turmoil, and had ripped away whatever joy Will had once had in his heart. She thought back to the photos Conrad had shown. Happy, smiling, Will. One she would never meet.
They rode is tense, prickly silence. It was clear that they were annoyed with each other. But she decided she didn’t want to waste anymore of herself on him. They arrived at a familiar fashion boutique. It was the one he had brought her too after their first night together.
This must be where all pretend girlfriends get their clothes.
“William!” Jason greeted as they walked in. “And I see we’ve brought back Emma! How are you darling?” He greeted with double air kisses. Emma giggled. She had forgotten how much she enjoyed him.
“Doing well, thank you.”
“You’ve never brought me a repeat. She must be special.” Jason gushed over Emma, but collected himself as Will glared at him. “Right then, so what masterpiece am I creating this time? Are we after English royalty again?”
“She’s my guest for a wedding,” Will replied.
“A wed… Oh my,” Jason said as realization sunk in. “You want a regal lady with a dash of sex thrown in, I take it?”
Will smirked in response. That was all the encouragement Jason needed.
“Come then, Emma. We shall make you glorious.” Jason led her away to the dressing rooms.
“Please, I don’t want anything too scandalous,” Emma implored.
“Darling, please. I will make you look like a goddess. No one will be able to resist you.”
Jason whisked away into the ocean of luxurious gowns. He returned with numerous dresses, each more fabulous than the last. A beautiful lavender dress with thin straps that criss-crossed along the back caught her eye. The plunging neckline, while daring, still covered enough to be formal. The skirt was a light, delicate tulle that went all the way down the floor and made her feel like was floating when she walked. But nothing seemed to satisfy Will. He rejected everything.
“Ooh, he is in a mood today,” Jason exclaimed as he rushed Emma back into the dressing room.
“Just today?” Emma said under her breath.
“I have shown just about everything. They only thing I have left is completely inappropriate.”
“Why?”
“Well, it’s white. I can’t put you in white to go to someone else’s wedding,” Jason lamented. He looked at Emma and a devious idea popped into his head. “You know what? I’ll get it. You’ll look ravishing in it.” He showed her a dress that made her speechless. It was white, but white like freshly fallen snow. It was structured in the top, and adorned with exquisite embroidery and crystals. They looped around like vines and flowers, and trickled towards the skirt of the dress. The embroidery stopped at the waist, but the crystals continued. They were scattered throughout the delicate chiffon, creating the effect of new snow glimmering in moonlight. It was like winter in an enchanted forest.
“It’s amazing,” Emma whispered.
“It’s the most luxurious piece I have currently. If he doesn’t like this one, well then I have nothing else. Let’s put it on.”
Jason assisted her into the gown. Emma marveled at the cool feel of the fabric as it slid along her skin. She stood in the mirror in awe. The dress was a perfect fit. It hugged every curve she had, and made more where there weren’t any. Jason also stared at her. It was as though it was made for her.
“We must show him. Come, come.” She stepped out of the dressing room. Will stood up when he saw her; he hadn’t even realized he’s done it. His eyes were fixed on her, following every minute movement as she admired herself in the gown. Emma blushed as she saw the way Will watched her. He stared at her as though no one else was around, as though she was the only other person that existed.
“She is absolutely gorgeous. Just radiant. She is a vision,” Jason gushed. Will stared, mouth agape. She was breath-taking. “I daresay she’ll be more beautiful than the bride.”
“No. She won’t be.” Will sat down, ripping his gaze away from Emma. Emma frowned at his sudden attitude change. It was more than an insult. He wanted Grace to be more beautiful than she was, and he believed it with all his heart. “Just pack them all up, Jason. Except for the last one.”