Nostalgic feeling

Alpha Raphael's point of view (alpha of the rogue wolves )
i truly hated the fact that I was actually looking at the woman whom I have brought up, for ten years now, I don't know what she Felt at that moment, but right now, I'm feeling nothing but anger, I told her to complete a simple task,by aiming at that alpha, but she hesitated.
I tried so hard, to bring the answer to my undiluted thoughts, but I Just can't bring an answer, what could possibly be the reason, to make her hesitate, while she's aiming at the alpha, I thought she very vulnerable when it comes in doing all these things, But i never knew that she she end up fucking things up.
I immediately stood up from my sit, pacing Back and forth, it's making me think for a while now, what could have possibly made her stopped, what could have made her not to think of achieving her aim, could it be the alpha is her maid?
No that ain't possible, the man who's feard but all, yet respected by most, how the fuck could this peasant little tramp be a mate to that alpha, I think the goddess made a very huge mistakes.
I have always hated Rowland with nothing but intense passion, my heart ached,but body feels so horrible, I tried as much as I could to keep a very calm expression, before I went outside the room, only to noticed all the pack members, where sitting idle,I know this is a time, where they usually sit and eat thier meals, but now no one is eating.
i then took a deep breath, before me thought easily wandered, to the moment I had picked her in the forest, I remembered her look, her clothes,her gaze at those moments.
she was wearing her dark clothes, which was almost torn in pieces, her eyes were looking at me so wild and viscously, but her deep blue eyes, and her long blonde curls, was something rare, but not far fetched, she was looking at me with some sense of innocency.
my intense gaze landed on her, I immediately know that the lady right in front of me was special, she might not look special in the eyes of other people,but I Know she's definitely special.
I took a mouthful of air,my thoughts easily strayed to those times, immediately a smile sprawled on my face.
I took a deep breath, because she will be like a trojan horse to help me destroy the Blue moon pack, the pack has always been impenetrable.
most of my pack members have been wondering why, I was aiming that pack, but the real truth is still unforeseen, that's something I have tried to keep for myself.
I remember the time, when I was still very young, a very young boy, when my father walked so briskly towards me, he had those tears, that stained his pearly white cheeks.
I stared at him, baffled at the reason of his tears, he immediately bent down, before he cupped my cheeks, making me stared at him looking intently at him in the eyes.
" where is mum" I asked frantically,my body was shaking at the whole thought of it, my father is not the alpha of the pack, but I know he has always been a well respected alpha, that knows many strategies of the field.
" keep calm son... I need you to keep calm please" I tried to reasoned with him, I stared at him with that expression, that shows he is not happy about the whole situation, but I don't care right now, I need to know where my mother is.
"please where is mum...." I cried once again, making him engulfed me in hug, before he gave me the most Heart wrecking news.
" she'd dead...she died trying to protect me, she was killed because she loved me" he cried, I felt my world shattering at that particular moments, I desperately wanted to calm down , but that word calm was not in my dictionary.
" no... no, This can't happen, no...." I cried as I started running so aimlessly towards the open space, I wanted to find her, I continue running but there is no sign of her, I then knelt down, looking at the Sky, I was feeling so emotional at that moment, I tried to fight the urge to cry once again,by tears kept on finding it's way down my cheeks.
" fuck... it's hurts, it Hurts as hell" I cried , I felt so much anger radiating from me, I know for the fact, my father has went to fight the people of the blue moon pack, that was the reason, my mum ended up dead, they had a clash, and what I want right now, is to destroy to kill.
that's when I noticed the frail figure on the ground, I immediately rushed to her, before I started crying aimlessly, I noticed her dark moles on her face,her long brown her, her eyes which are now closed, thin lips, was was now pale and white,her pearly white slime which was now so pale .
I immediately hugged her like my life depended on it, " no...no mother, you can't leave me, you promised me, that we would meet Santa together, you promise me, that you will take me to mall, If I turned thirteen, mum, please don't leave me, I can't do this without you" I continued crying, it hurts, I had the raw urge to tear our my heart, because I bet the pain I'll feel, I'll removing my heart from my body, won't hurt like what I'm feeling right now.
immediately my eyes turned a deep shade of golden hue, my claws was evident, I growled, before felt the pain I never knew I could experience before, it was very excruciating, I tried as much not to allow another growl to escape my lips, but I kept in growling in pain, it's Hurts as hell, is making my Bones ached, I heard my bones cracked, my furs became evident, I knew it was a little bit to early for my transformation.
today I became thirteen years old, but I never thought of doing my first transformation, when I'm just still thirteen years old.
after some unending three minutes, I then transformed into a full wolf, I plastered a smile on my face, I just can't wait any longer, I just wanted to revenge to anyone who dared do this to my mother, I took a huffed some air, before I took my mother, using my mouth, she was still lifeless, it was a full moon, my body ached, but the pain I was feeling in my heart was so unbearable.
I let out a loud howl, making me feel a little okey.
" alpha...are you Okey" I heard the voice of Roberto, brought me out of my deep thoughts, the thought I have always tried to keep it in the innermost part of me
" yeah... I'm fine, is there anything the problem?" I asked, he took a mouthful of air, before he stared at me Intently .
"actually, non of us can cook alph"Roberto said, making me let out a breath, I thought for a while,I must admit Emily, she has been of great importance here in the pack, it makes me want to bring her back, but I know she might be held captive under the blue moon pack, or even much worse claimed.
" I'll go Into the City, to buy food for you" I said, which Roberto creased his brows, but he immediately shrugged his shoulders, I Know very well my pack members, don't like food that was bought from the City, but I have no other options, non of us here can cook, and non of us here, even bothered to cook.
I took my phone and my wallet, before I went straight to my truck, that's when I noticed the hungry faces of my pack members.
I remember the time that whenever I'm going somewhere, it Only means I'm going to buy beverages and some ingredients to keep at home, but now I don't think, that will be happening again, not until another woman comes here.
I then started the engine, before I head straight to the supermarket to buy somethings, I can't ride my car, to far North, to buy some stuffs, so I decided to just buy them here.
I started picking the things I wanted, that's when I when I Inhaled the most intoxicating scent ever to exist,it was the mixture of vanilla with roses, " freaking fuck, can anything be more intoxicating" I had the raw urge to look for the owner of that scent, I want to devour her at that moment.
" you need to calm down and take a deep breath" I tried to encourage myself, my wolf couldn't stand it any longer as it let out a small growl.
bringing attention to myself.
there was one word that my wolf was able to utter.
"mate"