Chapter 56

**Alexander POV**

“Yes, it is true. Allister is my mate, same as you are.”

Her answer came like a big shock as the words kept on repeating over and over in my mind, making me completely forget how to breathe.
Everyone was silent in the room, looking at me, making me realize that I was possibly standing there silent for quite some time until her soft, melodic voice broke through my shocked state of mind and called my name, “Alex?”
I blinked and looked up straight at her, still struggling inside with my emotions, I managed to hide them away so no one could see as I forced my voice to come out and said, “Yes?”
“Are you ok?” Nerissa asked me, looking at me with worry showing in her eyes.
I looked at her and glanced at Allister, who was silently watching between her and me, still having his arms crossed over his chest.
Rage and a feeling of betrayal flooded through me, making my dragon, Byrneshu, claw with rage inside of my head, itching me to shift and give him full control.
Knowing I couldn’t do that and hurt Nerissa like that, I pushed down with all my strength trying to keep in control and at the same time trying to calm Byrneshu down.
“Alex?” She called my name once again, and I knew I couldn’t lie to her, so I took a deep breath and exhaled loudly before I answered, “No, I am not.”
I looked at her and saw the hurt in her eyes as she was feeling conflicted and it killed me, ripped my heart into pieces knowing I was the cause of her pain once again.
One thing I knew I couldn’t do, I couldn’t stay any minute longer here, not near him, so I spoke fast, saying, “I just need some fresh air and to collect my thoughts.”
Turning around and reaching the door in just a few strides, the moment my hand grabbed the handle I heard her broken voice saying, “I’m sorry.”
Freezing in place, feeling like some jackass, I heard fast footsteps, and I knew if I turned around and saw him next to her I might lose my own battle with my dragon and the control would be his.
Without completely turning around to look at her, I managed to answer despite how I was feeling and the urge to look her way. I said, “It’s not your fault. You don’t have to feel sorry for anything, it’s this fucked up… never mind, I will be back.”
Grabbing ahold of the door handle, I pressed down on it hard and rushed through the door like I was being chased down by the Devil.
Go figure the irony…
I stormed out from the house, passing in a fury by my fellow pack mates who jumped aside, giving me space so I can pass by them.
Their eyes lingered on my retreating figure as I pushed myself to run faster and faster, reaching the thick forest, not stopping or slowing my pace as I continued on running without actually knowing where I was going.
Her words were screaming in my mind, while my heart felt broken and betrayed, but not by her but by the Goddess herself.
Why did she have to make our lives so difficult? I asked more to myself as rage bubbled up inside of me, pushing on my pace to go ever so faster.
After running through the forest for what felt like forever, I blinked, realizing where I was going.
Slowing down my pace, I walked ahead, reaching two intertwined trees, and as I reached closer, I fell down onto my knees looking at two tombstones reading the names of my parents.
Reaching out, touching my mother’s name and my father’s afterward, feeling conflicted in my heart, I started to speak to them, like they could hear me.
“Hi mom, dad… I know I haven’t been here in a while and there is no reason to try to justify myself for that, but I’m sorry… I’m sorry for disappointing you as a son… seems not only I’m a failure as a son but also as a mate too…” I spoke as my heart was painfully squeezing in my chest making my words break at the end.
Taking a deep breath, I looked over at my father’s tomb and continued speaking, “You were wrong, dad, I’m not the Alpha you wanted me to be, I’m not like you… Even Reynard resents and hates me and I am sorry that he and I can’t get along as you wish.”
“I found a mate…” I said with a small smile, shaking my head, looking up through the branches of the trees and into the sky, keeping my eyes up there for a moment longer. I closed them and continued to speak in a broken voice, “I was unfair to her when we met, because…” I opened my eyes and looked over at my father’s tomb, saying, “because you taught me that her kind is dangerous, our enemy, and because of growing up and thinking like you have taught me, I treated her wrong and was not a mate she deserves… I was just like you.”
“Fuck!!!” I said it out loud, letting all my frustration show out in just one word as my head collapsed down, pressing my chin to my chest as I was taking deep, fast breaths.
A moment later, not realizing I was followed, I heard a familiar voice speak to me, as a hand pressed down on my shoulder, “You are not like him, Alex, you are better.”
Ryder sat down on the ground next to me, looking over at my parent’s tombstones, he said, “Your mom always told you to follow your heart and to listen to it as not everyone is as they are presented to us to be like, and guess she was right.” He chuckled low, making me look over at him as he nudged at my shoulder.
“I’m proud to have you as my Alpha. You are a great leader and everyone would agree with that. If you are to give the position to Reynard, hell, I would go, Rogue, the very next second.” He said to me as I arched my eyebrow hearing his words.
“I’m fucked up, Ryder.” Shaking my head I told him honestly, continuing my train of thoughts, “What good of a leader am I when I’m so fucked up. I just found out that my mate is not just mine! What a fucked up joke is that?!”
Ryder snorted as he answered, “That doesn’t make you fucked up or bad Alex, how many can say they have a special bond?”
I looked at him with narrowed eyes as my nostrils flared, “Special bond? I share my mate with a fucking demon King!! A demon, Ryder!”
He scratched his chin as we were silent for a moment before he asked me, “Do you love her?”
Without hesitation, I answered, “Yes, I do.”
Before I could say anything else he said, “Then don’t be an idiot Alex and I am telling you this as your best friend, be there for her and do anything her heart desires.”
I looked at him, repeating his words, “Anything her heart desires?”
Nodding his head, he said, “Anything her heart desires, even if that means you will have to find a way and push down your possessive urge and share her with him, if you love her that much you will do it for her or you will lose her.”
Thinking about what he was saying to me, I realized he was right. I might push her away from me and lose her if her wish is to keep her bond with Allister.
Even Byrneshu calmed down hearing Ryder’s reasoning and to some level agreed with him.
I looked at Ryder and said, “You are right. I can’t hurt her, not anymore. I was an asshole once and I can’t hurt her anymore by becoming the same as I was back then. For her, I’ll do anything no matter how hard it might be for me because she deserves it and is worth it.”
He patted my back with a big grin on his face, “Then go to her.”
For the first time in what felt like a while, I felt like a weight had been lifted up from my chest as I smiled, feeling grateful for this unexpected talk I just had with Ryder.
Looking at him, I asked him, “What about your situation?”
His eyes turned sad as he exhaled deeply, “She hates me.”
Hating to see him like this, a determination flooded through me as I stood up and extended my hand to him, making him look at me as I said, “Then what do you say you start working on changing her feelings and make her love you and not hate you.”
He grabbed onto my hand as I lifted him up, he asked me, “What do you mean?”
Grinning at him, I said, “Let’s go and get our mates and we will crawl and beg if it is needed but no more will we be assholes as they knew us first.”
He grinned as a new light shined in his eyes. He said, “Let’s go.”