Chapter 58

**Nerissa POV**

“Who will you choose? Alexander or me?”
My eyes widened hearing Allistar’s question, and it brought so many emotions to erupt inside of me, choking me as I couldn’t catch my breath.
What am I supposed to do or even to say? I asked myself, feeling helpless and horrified by this sudden question.
How am I supposed to choose between them? 
To do pros and cons? Does that even work?
Minutes passed by while I was having a struggle within myself.
Both, Allister and Alex, didn’t move nor dared to say a word and stop me in my train of horrible thoughts.
My mind was spinning around as I forced myself to be fair and try to be honest and do as they both wanted me to do, and that is to choose among them.
The memories of my moments I shared with Allister flooded my mind and brought a small smile to my face.
Those memories made me feel the warmth in my heart as it swelled with love… love? Do I love him really? 
I looked up at Allister, and his eyes were showing me his distress.
Somehow I knew he would accept whatever my choice was, but still seeing him so troubled was not something I liked.
My eyes moved away from Allister and looked at Alex, who was having the same emotions just like Allister, shining behind his eyes.
I looked at him and thought about our moments.
Yes, our start was not one of the best ones, but the ones that overtook the place of the bad memories are the recent, the new ones we have created.
Those memories are the ones that filled my heart with joy and laughter and love.
Yes, I love Alexander and I even told him that, but what I found surprising is that the exact same amount of love I feel for both of them.
O dear Goddess, how could you put me in such a horrible situation?
How am I supposed to choose? I silently asked Goddess while the horror rose inside of me.
The horror of a feeling of losing one of them gripped onto my heart, making it hard for me to breathe as such thoughts and images played in my mind.
“Nerissa?” Alexander called my name. Worry showed so clearly in his eyes as he was about to take a step towards me, trying to comfort me but was stopped by Allister grabbing onto his arm.
“Don’t…” Allister said to him, removing his hand off of Alex's arm and turning his head back towards me, he said, “Take your time, kitten… whatever your choice might be, it is ok. It will be ok.”
I looked up at him, my eyes slowly tearing up, seeing their struggle as I knew they wanted to run to me and hold me in their arms.
I closed my eyes, taking in a deep breath, trying to calm myself down while at the same time I silently prayed to the Goddess, saying, “Dear Goddess, please give me the strength to do the right thing and show me the path that is right for me, right for them, for us. I can’t do this alone. I can’t hurt either one of them. Please help me find the genuine answer I am to follow.”
Slowly, I inhaled and exhaled, feeling a sudden calmness surrounding me as instantly an image started to play in my mind, showing me a house and I was inside of it.

***

I found myself standing in a giant hallway inside the house, while the sounds of laughter reached to me, coming from outside.
I looked towards the window that was next to the giant door, and I could see the weather outside was sunny and looked like it was summer.
Feeling curious as to whose house this is, and what could be expecting me to find out if I open the door…
I looked around myself, trying to hear if anyone was inside this house, but there were no sounds coming from inside, only those that were coming from outside.
The curiosity got the better of me as I walked to the door and slowly placed my hand on it. The handle, pressing it to open, and soon enough, while the door opened, the warm sun blinded me for a moment, making me close my eyes from the sudden brightness and blink a few times, trying to adjust to the bright light.
“Daddy… daddy…” a children’s voice sounded from behind a green, tall hedge.
Slowly I took a step forward, feeling drawn by these voices and giggles when I heard familiar roars that made my heart race in my chest.
“Catch me, daddy.” Again the same voice said, all giggling when another roar sounded and a squeak followed after.
The pull towards the sounds was hard and strong, making me rush towards the tall hedge, trying to find a way to get to the other side.
Walking alongside the hedge, feeling slightly irritated as I couldn’t find any entrance or a gap within it so I can go to the other side. I stood in front of the green, tall hedge, raising my arms, about to use my powers and burn the damn thing down, when suddenly, a small boy ran towards me, showing me a wide, toothless smile as he came closer and grabbed my hand, saying, “Hurry mommy… daddy is chasing us.”
He pulled on my hand, showing me to follow him, so feeling surprised I followed him in silence, trying to understand what was going on.
We ran forward, reaching the end when he turned to the right, making me notice a passage there.
Soon as we passed through the passage, I saw beautiful green grass covering the open space.
There was, in the distance, a beautiful playground that was within a beautiful garden that held various colorful flowers.
“Come mommy, we will hide in the fort.” The little boy said as he turned his head to me, and that is when I noticed his familiar green eyes.
We ran over the open space and entered into the beautiful garden when another little boy appeared in front of us, showing me the same toothless wide grin, making me gasp when I saw his eyes.
The blue-eyed boy took my other hand and giggling he said, “I tricked daddy so we can hide.”
We entered the playground and both of the boys pushed me to enter inside their little fort, so silently I complied and found myself hugged tightly by two little boys.
I took a moment to look at them both and so much familiarity could be seen on both of them, making my heart swell with love and joy.
Loud roars sounded making both boys squeal with joy when suddenly, a pair of large hands grabbed the green-eyed boy which was giggling as he disappeared from the entrance.
Another set of arms a second later followed after and took the blue-eyed boy out of my hold, making me look in panic at the entrance.
I could hear both boys laughing so hard when suddenly, I felt a pair of hands grab onto me and pull me out of the safety of the fort.
A gasp left my lips when I found myself pulled into a warm, hard chest.
I looked up and was met with the familiar green eyes, the same ones one of the boys had.
His smile made my heart race when I recognized him, but the laughter that came from the side made me look away from him only to see two boys playing with a tall, handsome male.
The male turned his eyes and looked at me, and I saw his blue irises that took my breath away.
“You can run but you can’t hide, kitten.” I heard Allister say while Alex whispered into my ear, “We will always find you.”
Their words as their intense look, made me feel breathless.
The realization that dawned on me made me feel alive and complete for the first time in my life.
The sound of gravel crunching under someone’s feet made me look ahead to see a tall silhouette, smiling widely while holding something in his arms.
I blinked a few times, trying to focus my eyes to try and see clearly who that is but the image blurred away and I was pushed back into the present, feeling content with the answer that I was given.

***

Opening my eyes, I looked straight at Allister and Alexander, noticing the worry displayed on their beautiful features.
Swallowing hard, I took a deep breath, preparing myself to give them the answer, praying for the best outcome silently inside my heart.
“You both want my answer now?” My voice was strong as I spoke after a long time.
They looked at me and I saw them gesture me with a small nod of their heads.
I watched them take in a deep breath, preparing themselves for whatever answer I was about to say, so deciding to end this tormenting situation that we were all together in, I said, loud and clear, “I cannot choose between you two. I cannot move on with just one, you both are my mates, my other half’s and even if I was to be with just one of you two, I know that I would never be fully happy as I would be half dead.” 
I removed the cover off of me and stood up, walking slowly towards them.
Reaching my arms I took in each one of theirs and continued to speak, “My heart chooses you both because I love you both equally.”