16. Waking Regrets

[Claire]
Huh, I had a really weird dream last night.
The moment I opened my eyes, I wished I hadn't, I felt extremely sensitive to the light in the room, why the h*ll had I not closed the curtains last night.
I closed my eyes back and groaned, I was having a bad headache and I wished I could open my head up to relieve the pain.
Why exactly was I feeling so sick?
Speaking of sickness, I bolted from the bed even in my condition and raced for the bathroom, I suddenly had the urge to retch.
The first thing I noticed was that my bathroom was not where it used to be, stick with me. I know none of this is making sense but it will make sense in a bit, at least to me.
I didn't get it at first since my mind was still clouded, just how much brain vanishing power did alcohol have, because right now, it felt like I didn't have any brain or memory.
I found an empty iron can and I vomited into it without wasting time, it was either that or all over the rugged floor.
By the way, I had tiles in my house.
I felt nauseated at having to look at my own vomit and I just kept on vomiting, it was like an endless stream.
"God, I feel awful," I spoke out, a hand stretched out a glass of water and a bottle of Listerine to me and without thinking, I accepted the two and used them.
Again, I lived alone.
But at the time my brain was still a muddle.
I felt better after drinking the water and using the mouth wash, I did not smell so much like vomit.
My vision cleared up a bit and then I began to recognize things.
First, I was wearing a black oversized shirt, I did not own one of those, second I was sitting on a rugged floor, my house was tiled and third I wasn't alone in the room, I lived alone.
Fear crept into me and so did embarrassment.
I looked up gently to see a man standing with his back to me.
Not just any man, Jean, I would recognize him anywhere.
I was so embarrassed I dashed to the bathroom with the iron can in hand, my head still felt like I was constantly being hit by a dozen hammers, but I ignored it, embarrassment was far more powerful.
I could not believe that Jean had seen me vomiting, at least his back was turned to me but that didn't make me feel any better.
The reason I'd had trouble finding the bathroom at first was that it was on the opposite side of the room, yeah the room was bigger than mine, another indication that I wasn't at home.
Inside the bathroom, I poured the vomit into the toilet and flushed then I rinsed off the iron can with soap. I felt like vomiting again but it was better this time and I could hold it in.
I washed my face and used the mouth wash again, I left the water running for good measure and I stood there, trying to remember how I came to be here.
I remembered going to the club and drinking alcohol because I wanted to get wasted but then I couldn't remember anything else. How did I end up with Jean, at a hotel or his apartment, I couldn't tell.
"Are you going to stay there all day?" He called out from outside and I froze.
"I'll be out in a second," I replied and turned off the faucet.
I walked out slowly but I refused to let him see how flustered I was.
"How did I get her—ow." I held my head in pain and I stopped talking.
"Here, take this, swallow it, it will make you feel better." He said and handed me a pill and a glass of water.
I stared at him unsure of what to do.
"Don't worry, it's just some pain relief. If I wanted to hurt you, I have other ways of going about that." He spoke icily.
"Thank you," I murmured and accepted the pill and water from him avoiding eye contact.
I swallowed it and dropped the glass on a table.
"You are a lightweight, why did you get so drunk last night?" He asked angrily, his eyes flashed an unknown emotion and he looked at my chest for a while before looking back at my face.
I looked down and I could see my n*pples poking at the shirt, they were so hard, it was impossible not to notice them.
I would have blamed it on the cold, but with Jean standing so close to me, cold didn't stand a chance, it was too hot.
I crossed my arms over my chest, not surprised to find my bra missing. The second thing I checked when I dashed into the bathroom was my bra and panties, my bra was missing, but my panties were still intact and I was glad for that.
"It doesn't concern you, I don't have to give you any explanations." I didn't like how he was talking to me.
What did he care if I got drunk?
"Claire." It was a warning. "Don't you realize that you put yourself in danger, if I hadn't come when I did, I don't want to imagine the rest."
"I can take care of myself, by the way where are my clothes and my underwear." I tried to act tough, but I was squirming on the inside.
He was such a domineering person, but my pride would not let me admit that out loud.
I also knew that he was right, I exposed myself to danger getting drunk like that, I hadn't been thinking, but I wouldn't admit that either.
"The h*ll you can, did you even remember what happened last night, how you came on to me and begged me to take you like a h*ssy." A slap ended his speech.
"Don't you dare insult me." I was livid, how dare he call me a h*ssy.
I began to regret slapping him though, when he turned back to look at me, the anger of the gods clearly displayed on his face.
"Insult you, it's not an insult when I'm telling the truth, or do you want to see a video because I took one, you even begged me like a little sl*t."
I couldn't take his insults anymore and my defenses began to break down.
"I'm not a h*ssy, I'm not a sl*t, why do you hate me so much, what did I ever do to you." Tears began to pour down my face and I began to hit him on the chest repeatedly.
"Nothing." I heard him say and then he crashed his lips on mine.
I responded almost immediately and he deepened the kiss, there was no urgency in the kiss, it was just a kiss of comfort, his lips brushed over mine gently and I almost moaned at how good it felt.
His hands left my shoulders and moved down to my waist, he took my tongue into his mouth and sucked, the feeling excited me beyond measure.
I pressed closer to him and began to rub on his erection poking at my stomach.
His hands grabbed my hips and he pressed me impossible closer to him.
Just then, my memory returned.
I pushed him away from me and closed my eyes and I remembered everything that happened at the club.
"I thought it was as a dream, I thought I was hallucinating," I mumbled as I found to push the bile rising up, down.
I couldn't believe how bold I had been and so brazen and wanton.
He was right, I had come onto him.
"What's wrong?" He asked breathlessly.
"I remembered." I looked up at him and prayed the earth would just magically open up and swallow me.
Somebody, anybody, save me from this embarrassment.
"I told you." His features hardened and he moved away from me.
"I was drunk, I'd been so sad, I never drank before, I just wanted to forget, I thought you were a product of my imagination and I just wanted to be happy." I tried to defend myself and stop the tears from falling.
"I saw you drinking at the French bar." He had that disgusted look on his face again.
"I should leave." I turned to look for my clothes, he would never believe me, nothing I said would change that.
"You haven't finished telling me what happened."
"Why do you want to know, it's obvious that you don't believe me anyway, why do you think I'm such a terrible person, you weren't like this before, why did you change all of a sudden."
He looked at me like he wanted to say something and then he kept quiet.
"Great, please tell me where my clothes are, I'm leaving, I'm sorry for all the trouble I caused you, tell me an amount so that I can reimburse you for your help."