♥Chapter 34♥

Enzo D'Angelo.

I pick up my cell phone and, hesitantly, start searching the internet.

"How do I know if I'm in love?"

The answers appear on the screen—a simple list, but one that seems to mess up my mind even more:

You want to be close to the person.

You want your friends and parents to like her.

You miss her.

Her opinions matter to you.

You think about her all the time.

You want to be a better person.

Everything is better when you are together.

I roll my eyes when I read, ''You want to be a better person''. That sounds ridiculous. Those two drive me crazy. They drive me crazy. But the part about wanting to be close... Well, maybe that's true. I cover my face with my hands, feeling a wave of frustration. What the hell? I've never felt this way before, and I have no idea how to deal with it.

'' All good? '' Alex's familiar voice makes me look to the side. He walks towards me with a worried expression.

''No.'' I respond quickly, without disguising my discomfort. ''It's all messed up in my head, Alex. I'm going to freak out. ''I admit, I am irritated.

''Hey, take a deep breath. '' He suggests calmly. ''Try to calm down, everything will be fine.

I obey, breathing in and out several times. The weight in the chest decreases a little, but the confusion is still there.

''Love is really complicated, Enzo. ''Alex sits next to me, looking at the reflection of the water.

''Who said I loved them? '' I retort, almost defensively.

Alex smirks, clearly amused by my denial.

''At no point did I say I loved you. You're giving in, huh? '' He pushes me lightly, laughing, and I end up laughing along, even if just a little.

I sigh again, this time lighter, but still restless. I look at the water and then at the horizon.

''You know, I've never felt this way about anyone. They drive me crazy, but at the same time... '' I pause, trying to organize my ideas. ''I don't know what I feel. It's too confusing.

''You remember what my relationship with Klaus was like, right? '' Alex comments, and I roll my eyes.

''Oh, if I remember. You two were unbearable to watch. '' I respond with a snort, remembering the scenes I witnessed.

He rolls his eyes too, but smiles.

'' So it is. But, after everything, I realized I couldn't live without him. Even with all the complications, I needed him in my life. Enzo, I thought I was broken and incapable of being loved. My past was baggage that I didn't want Klaus to carry, but I couldn't shake it. He was good for me.

I stare at Alex, feeling the weight of his words.

''Where are you going with this?

He sighs, seeming to search for the right words.

''What I mean is that maybe you should give them a chance. Let them show you what love really is. I never wanted to be separated from Klaus, and that's love. Even when we fight, I will do anything to make him happy.

I let out a deep sigh.

''I don't understand what love is, Alex. ''I admit it, almost in a whisper.

''Of course you understand. You love your parents, your brother, and you love me, right? ''I nod. ''So, loving the twins isn't that different. The difference is that, in addition to affection, you will feel desire, want to protect them, take care of them, and make them happy. It's natural.

I hesitate but end up confessing:

''They have already awakened my desire. ''I admit it grudgingly.

Alex laughs, shaking his head.

''Oh yeah? And how was it?

''Better than I imagined. '' I mutter, embarrassed.

''And it will get even better. '' He commented with a mischievous smile.

I push Alex, trying to get away from the conversation, and he laughs louder.

''You are disgusting, you know that?

'' What is it? I'm just being honest. '' He defends himself, still laughing.

I get up, ignoring his taunts, and analog back into the house. His laugh echoes behind me, but now, I just want to escape that conversation.

I go up to the twins' room. When I enter, I see that they are sleeping. I close the door carefully so as not to wake them, and I approach the bed, watching them for a moment. I let out a sigh.

They look so peaceful while they sleep, they don't even resemble the perverts awake. Sighing again, I go to the closet, grab some pants and a silk shirt, and head to the bathroom. A shower is all I need right now.


****


I leave the bathroom already dressed, with my skin still warm from the shower. Steam escapes into the air, but the silence in the room remains unchanged. I look at the bed and see that the twins are still sleeping peacefully, as if the world outside didn't exist. I wonder what made them fall asleep like that so suddenly. Was it tiredness? Are there any concerns they didn’t share with me?

I walk towards the bed I've been sleeping in lately, even though it's been two days since I've actually laid in it. The sheet is perfectly stretched, as if it were made for someone who doesn't use it. I wonder if my snake is okay; I miss taking care of it. That animal, somehow, calms me down. The thought brings me a feeling of emptiness, but it is soon interrupted when I pick up my cell phone to check the calendar.

My birthday is close—closer than I would like. I feel a pang of irritation thinking about it. I hate parties. The idea of ​​celebrating something so irrelevant to me makes me uncomfortable. I hope they're not planning anything, I'd rather the day go unnoticed.

I put my phone on the nightstand and lie down on the bed, pulling the sheet up to my chin. The cold that begins to take over the room contrasts with the heat that I still feel in my body. I look once again at the twins, sleeping soundly in the other bed. They look so peaceful, almost innocent. Almost.

''See you later, idiots. Sleep well. '' I murmur, turning my back to them and closing my eyes.

Sleep washes over me easily, as if I've been waiting for this moment all day. The darkness comes effortlessly, and I soon find myself lost in a world where thoughts no longer make sense.