Social

"What?"
He asked and then fix his gaze at me. Should I confront him for what he did lately? I'm kinda nervous, it is his fault but I am the one who was afraid to ask for his sorry.
"Uhm..."
I started and gently stroked my hair, I was so afraid. There's no lie on that.
I looked down on the food and on the fork I was holding. This shit,
The wind was so cold and it could enter the inner part of me. I think my body down there is trembling a little too.
In able to break the silence, he clears his throat and it makes a sound. It echoed on the whole room and I can't speak as well as I can't look at him. I think my dialect is stuck in my mouth.
"About lately...."
He started off and even I was looking down on the food, I widened my eyes and wait for him to add something to his words.
His husky voice creates a vibration that travels in every space turn to my heart.
"Uhm, I...I was just drunk, and..."
He can not proceed but there is a part of me that is cheering for the first time hearing him speak his words with hesitation in him.
"I'm sorry, I was just Bacchanalian and I know that my reasons for you aren't that decent to make you complacent,"
I looked up quickly and meet his gaze, I was so shocked, Is this real? He's saying sorry for me? Wow. That's so unbelievable.
"I'm ashamed, I don't know what I'm doing lately because of the alcohol and ..."
"It's okay, Uhm, I comprehend...It's okay,"
I answered and cut his words. He nodded and smile thinly. His eyes were serious and his gaze tells me that he was serious about his words.
"Uhm, Okay now, I will go to the lavatory and got some wash," he said and I smiled at him.
"Okay, feel free to go, I'll be responsible for everything here," I said and he bobbed once again.
I heard him stepping back to his room and his every step makes a noise.
And watched him as he walk. He's kinda sexy.
I sighed in relief. But something is different now,
I was smiling and I guess it was Because he apologized to me.
I truly appreciate his reason and I think It is enough, It is because of the alcohol.
I remember Renz when apologizes to me too when we are in a relationship when he was late on our date because his parents are both kinda strict, or sometimes unintentionally broke my heart apart.
I remember his sweet promises again, his words that make me feel comfortable and I am in my home.
Every time that he tells me everything I didn't know, a great lecturer and an adviser for me.
But I feel bad, every time that I was remembering him. His presence and existence in my life.
In just an epic plan, and his parent's decision, his dream, everything in us...all vanished. How come?
I was questioning myself too, why we turn on this? Uncertainty is in between us.
But I have this on me that he's just there, maybe in some part of Seoul, or here in Busan or maybe in another country...in french?
The text I have received that night I am on the bar, I wish that he was also drunk and mistaken.
I wish that he's just...I don't know, whatever but I'm still hoping that he just make a mess with my number.
I didn't change my phone number for a year so that he can contact me whatever the reason for contacting me. Or maybe gonna tell me that he will come back sooner so that I will wait for him.
But he's like a wind.
I know that he is just here, I even had an intuition that he was around me. but I can't see. I can't see him.
I'm still on my thoughts that maybe he is in a relationship now or not.
I hope not.
I'm still waiting...I still. I always love you. Wish you never left me. But you did. You break my heart that easily. The stars and moon are the witnesses to how many times I told a story about us. About our promises and what do I feel towards you right now.
I do always love you. If ever you change your mind and decided to go back to ky embraces, I'm just here, still waiting.
"I miss you.." I whispered. And I know my eyes are closed in tears.
"Uhm, if you need the phone, here, I will leave it to you"
Gosh, I was so shocked.
I look at the man standing at the back of me while having a piece of clothes in his hand and a towel, different from mine on his broad shoulder.
"Uh...I'm so sorry, I was just shocked by your voice,"
I apologize and quickly took the phone.
Wait? What? His phone? Why?
"Huh? Why are you giving me your phone?"
I asked while the black silver hue outstanding phone is in my hand.
"Uhm. I said, if you want to call your mom or someone, you can have it,"
He answered and I fix my gaze toward the phone.
"Ah, I think, My mom would not call again or, maybe there is no signal here, you can get it and use. I am shy to use your phone. It's your thing so that—"
"Uhm, I have no important things to do on my phone. Whenever you miss your mom you can call her. I forgot to tell my people to give access to me. I forgot to tell them that we need the Internet,"
He said. Almost whispering the last words. He scratched his hair and then look at the clock on the wall. I look at it too and find out that it is now closed to Three pm.
His black eyes stare at it and I just watched him staring at a simple thing. Even his eyes can tell me that he was just born handsome even in a simple way.
"Uh, Okay, let's have a bonfire later when six in the dusk, you want?" He asked and I widened my eyes.
I think my tongue is twirling very hard inside my mouth, I couldn't speak.
"I guess you are bored now, I think you like fire? You want it?"
I heard him ask again.
I nodded very quickly and smiled very widely.
"Of course, I love it, I want it. I'm so excited!"
I answered full of excitement in me.
He smiled too revealing his cute white tooth in front. And just by now, I realized that he is kinda cute with his little bunny-tooth in front.
"All right! That's good,"
He said and I giggles. Bonfire! This is my first time having a bonfire on a beach! Also, my first time to do a fire in front of the restlessness waves of the sea.
I'm so excited!
I watched him walk away and approach the hallway through the bathroom door.