To tell

"If you will gonna tell me your past, I knew that I would not be able to remember it in just a couple of working days," he said knowing that it was just a joke.
Is it a joke or not? Seriously?
"Uh, will you share it with others?" I asked for having doubts.
"No, after going back to the city, I will go back to my work and school too, so that, I was a busy person and I wouldn't have time to reminisce every single time of it here." He said and then pinned his lips. The surrounding becomes darker,
"Will we have time to see each other again?" I asked unknowingly
"Are you looking forward to that? Cause me, I'm not," he asked and I widened my eyes. Shit, that sounds like I want to see him again and then he's not.
"Of course not, who are you to talk to shortly again huh?" I asked sarcastically.
"It's not that," he said coldly. What was that? What does it mean?
"We won't if you will grant the wish of my school to you to accept the invitation about the scholarship, then we will have a chance but only once a month, like that," he said.
But that is so ...I should be happy, right? But why does my heart feel like there is a void in me hearing those words from him?
"Why? Wouldn't you come to the school regularly? Just like us?" I asked and he shook his head
"I told you, I hold our company now, I don't have time to attend a class every day so, and that's what you want right?" He asked and I blinked. Looking down to the very small pieces of white sand we are sitting on.
Is this what I want to happen?
"O...of course, that's good news for me so that, I will accept it, I and Nicky will enroll on that school this coming enrollment," I said trying to be happy and make an energetic tone.
He's just 18 and why did he shoulder all the things in life? I am worried.
"Well that's good, good luck with that," he said. I nodded and my wide smile quickly turned into a frown. Why?
"So...my...my first boyfriend is A half French half Korean, his name is Renz, Renz Galleria," I started, and the nodes.
"Uhm, I met him at school when I was in grade ten knowing that I have had a crush on him since I was just a freshman in high school," I added.
My heart is skipping little by little. I sighed and even breathe many times. I couldn't breathe normally as my heart feels suffocated.
"And now?" He asked
"Huh? Uh, we...we tell each other about our feelings and then a coincidence that we have been playing hide and seek of feelings to each other since we are grade seven," I continued.
"That was so cool," he replied and I look at him.
He seems to like taking my words playfully.
"I'm serious here," I said
"Well, do you think I'm not?" He asked sarcastically. This bitch really wants to die early.