Chapter 51

**Winter**

“Fine Cole you know what. I don’t know what I did to make you hate. You don’t touch me. You don’t talk to me. So, it is apparent to me you think I am a weak for being taken. I could not free myself, so you had to do it. Well, I'm sorry. I am so sorry you had to rescue you weak Luna.”

It has to be that I am weak. After all this distance that has been giving me, started when I was rescued. He wasn’t there when I woke up, I had to go find him after all. He must think I am weak. There is no other logical explanation.

“I was going to ask you to go for a run tonight under the moonlight. But do not bother. I will run by myself. I will also give you your space. I guess I will figure out how to encourage the females in the pack by myself. I love you but I guess it is one sided. Again, I am sorry.”

I walk out of the room. I go to our room and grab my spear and pack a small bag. I figure I can go to my old hovel. I don’t plan to stay long. I just need a break from the failure I feel from Cole. I will for sure be back for the meeting I set up for Saturday with the females in this pack.

As I am leaving, I run into Byron. This is perfect I can tell someone that I am leaving but will be back in a few days. This way no one has to worry about my safety. Especially since Cole blames me for being captured and tortured.

“Hey Luna. Are you going somewhere?” Byron asks as he sees my stuff I packed. “Actually yes, I am going out for a few days. But I will be back I have a meeting Saturday morning. So, I will be back by then. Could you please tell the Alpha for me? I would really appreciate it.”

He nods and smiles and then goes on to say “Luna please just be careful. Gerrard is still out there. We have no idea if he is watching this pack or has tried to find another pack to take over. Just be vigilant and stay alert. Also, I wanted to give you this.”

He handed me a journal which was very large. “What's this?” “It is my journal I took and filled while I was at your old pack. It is mostly stories I heard some info I was informed about stuff like that. I thought you might have liked it.”

“Thank you so much Byron. I appreciate it.” I gave him a hug and kissed him on the cheek. He gave me a smile. I really love Byron it is super nice to have a link to my past. Also, someone who never judges me for things that most think is unconventional.

I head out the packhouses front door. I start to a jog. I figure I can shift once I get to my old place. I don’t want to shred my clothes or carry them in Athens mouth. It takes a while to get to the old place. By the time I get there the sun has gone down.

**Cole**

After Winter stormed out, Marcus comes back in. We finish talking about implementing new punishments. Then he goes on to say “Alpha the trackers you sent after Gerrard found him. He is not close by or anything but his numbers of rogue wolfs he has in his ranks is staggering.”

“From what we have gathered he has been traveling around the whole country recruiting. Apparently promising them power. I think he is probably going to attack here. I do not know how long till that happens, but I do think it is on the horizon.”

“How do you know he will attack here maybe he would go after Alpha Ryan and the Blue Moon Pack. I mean Winter told us Gerrard wants revenge for being kicked out after all.” I respond to him. The look on his face showed he was mauling things over.

“Well Alpha I am not sure if he would attack Blue Moon first or us. I mean it could be either. But he has the numbers now so it could be either. I think we should call Alpha Ryan and tell him what we found out.”

“I will call Alpha Ryan, Marcus. I am still need to be cautious with him though. I have no idea if he is like his father. I just feel it is risky with working him seeing as I do not know his intentions.” He agrees with everything I said.

“Now Alpha I don’t want to be out of step here, but what is going on with you and the Luna?” should I open up to Marcus. I mean he is not only my beta but my best friend. He could probably give me advice to get over this anger with myself.

“I don’t really know. I am mad at myself. It is just when I am close to her, I just feel like a failure. Like I failed at being a mate. You know I am supposed to protect her, and I failed. She spent so much time on her own and she didn’t get taken. But now she is with me and I can't do what she has been doing for self. I just feel useless.”

He pauses and thinks about what he wants to say. Finally, after a few moments Marcus speaks. “It is not anyone's fault except the hunter's fault. Winter is strong which is why she is here safe and sound. I do not think you should be pushing her away especially over guilt.”

“She is strong, but she is stronger with you that is fact. That is how the mate bond works. You, pushing her away and distancing yourself from her is making you both weak. Not to mention I think she needs you. She is wanting comfort and you are letting her deal with it all by herself. Fix it man she loves you.”

It is true what he is saying. I know she loves me she even said it before she stormed off. Marcus is exactly right I have been letting guilt stop me from being there for my Mate. I know she thinks it is because I blame her. But that is not the case.

I need to make this right. I need to comfort her and help her heal. I think I will go find her and make up. I miss her. I miss her touch and I miss working together on things. I just miss her. So, I set off to find her. I check the whole packhouse, but she is not here. Where is she?