CONFUSED FEELING(2)

LEO'S POV.
I couldn't explain how I felt after hugging Clara, it was something I long for from my loved ones but I ignored it allowing my emotions take absolute control over me all these years. I also just realized that I also needed someone to care, appreciate and cherish my existence. Most especially I needed someone also love me just the way I am. I never thought of this things not until today after hugging Clara. I cried under my sheets, remembering how lonely I had been all this year, I literally shut everyone out of my life because of the anger that had been burning inside of me this past years. I cried until I fell asleep.
The knock on my door the next morning woke me up, I stretched out my hands still lying on my bed tiredly. This was my first time of having such a good sleep, I hadn't slept like this in years, everything was just feeling so good at the moment. I was still smiling awkwardly, lost in my thoughts when I heard the knock again. The thought of the person knocking being Clara flashed Into my head, I jumped out of my bed instantly nearly falling off.
"Hold on, I shouted, running to my bathroom. I was my face and combed my hair very well till they were well arranged. I thought of bathing too but I remembered that she was waiting outside so I changed my mind. I lay back on my bed, pretending to still be as asleep. "Come in" I said smiling.
" Good morning sir" My smile turned into a frown instantly. " Sorry for waking you up, I just wanted to inform you that the woman you asked me to put in the torture room would be executed today, should we still go along as planned? " My bodyguard asked, I felt so stupid and angry at my self for doing what I had just done. I was about to reply when I remembered that my bodyguard never takes permission from to execute someone on the scheduled date.
"Why was he asking today" I thought, turning to look at him suspiciously because everything seemed weird. I inquired to know why he was asking but he lied to me, telling me he just wanted to know but I was certain that Clara must have begged him. "What sought of person would want her enemy free even when she had the power ro decided if the person lives or die" I thought, staring at my bodyguard who was waiting for my response. I didn't want Clara to feel guilty for ma'am Lauretta's death even though I wanted this woman dead, I had to let her live because of Clara, but she can't continue to work here.
"I know Clara begged you to do this you can't hide anything from me" He looked down in embarrassment immediately. "Anyways let the woman go but warn her never to set foot in this vicinity, neither should she come close to Clara." My body guard nodded looking at the floor all through the time I talked to him.
The moment he shut the door, I remembered I had a meeting with my members this morning by ten. There issues of attack had become rampant, so I organized a meeting so we could strategies and prepare ahead of any unexpected attack by other Mafias. I went to my wardrobe and wore my sweatshirt with a black pant, I needed be in my office to prepare some documents before the meeting, I didn't trust anyone so I handed everything myself. After I was done preparing the files I went back to my room, I had just slammed the door and about to take off my shirt in order to bath and prepare for the meeting, but I stopped immediately I heard a knock on the door.
" Clara! "I thought full of excitement. I went over to the door and stood there for some minute placing my hands on it before taking in a deep breath. I turned the door knob slowly and steady. " What the? " Out of annoyance I slammed the door at the maids who were standing outside.
"Sir, your food? " One of the maid asked me shouting on top of her voice like I had suddenly turn deaf.
"Leave!" I retorted angrily with my voice even more loud than her's, I heard their footsteps while they left. I didn't even bother to do any other thing instead I headed to the bathroom to shower. While I was bathing, thoughts of Clara kept on bothering me, at some moment I thought she was being punished again. "She ought to be here" I said, turning on the shower tap, the water ran freely on my head down to my bare chest and lastly to my leg. It felt so good, probably because the water was cold.
It was already thirty minutes past nine and I was already prepared to leave for the meeting I had by ten but I delayed purposely just to see Clara but she didn't show up and now I was leaving already. I went down the stairs, frequently taking glances towards the direction of the kitchen, probably I could see Clara. I just hoped she wasn't in trouble again, although I was angry with her. She knew she was meant to be in my room this morning but it seemed like she was avoiding me because oc what I did yesterday.
" Shit" I was finally in my in my car but still no sign of Clara anywhere, I drove out of the compound angrily nearly knocking down one of the gardener. While I drove in full speed, I kept on wondering if Clara was purposely avoiding me. Even if she was, she had no right to because, as my personal she ought to be in my room twenty-four hours, until I permit her to leave. I swore to deal with her when I get back, except she gives me a tangible reason for not being in my room through out the whole day.
I drove in a narrow road which led to a very large mansion were all our activities took place, some of my men also lived here so there where lot of maids. The maids here suffer a lot, they get beaten, rape and some disobedient ones even get killed, they don't even get paid because majority of them were kidnapped by my men. When I got to the gate, I wasn't ask to stop by the guards there. Immediately they saw my car they opened it immediately, waving to me as I drove past them.
There was a separate building where the meeting was to hold, so instead of going to the mansion I headed to there immediately. I still had to drive for about three minutes before I got there, the compound was so large, it was like an estate. I hate entering the mansion because it reminded me about my past, I use to live here while growing up, my mum and sister died here and I also killed my dad in this same house. That was the reason why I chose to live somewhere else.
I drove past a tree and saw some young boys training, they were being thought how to aim a perfect shoot. I saw one of them get a hard hit on his head by the trainer, because he didn't shoot at the bottle which was place on a table about fifteen feet away from them, instead he missed it twice. I could now see myself standing few years back, I had just clock nine that day and dad said that was the best birthday present he could give me. All my effort not to remember the scene that happened that day were abortive, memories kept on flashing in my head but I tried to fight them. I had to stop my car, I had become sweaty even though the air conditioner was on, my palm were wet, I was burning in anger as the memories flooded my head while I glared at the man hitting the young boy continuously while the others froze.