Chapter 34

Alpha Kai POV

There is nothing I can say to Alaska now, but there is something I can do for her. I know I fucked up and ruined everything we had between us. I want to make sure her life goes smoothly from here on out. She deserves the best. If I am honest with myself, I am not the best. Alaska deserves more than me.

I do not return to the pack house. I am sure everyone has a lot to say, but nothing that I want to hear right now. I do not wish to receive pats on the back for being a prick or have the wolves who are upset about Alaska looking at me with disgust. I am an idiot.

I get into my truck and begin the drive to the pack hospital. I have a plan, and it does not include asking for forgiveness. My mind races as I drive to the pack hospital. I think of her, and the first time I saw Alaska. At first, all I wanted was a taste, a feel of her, and I definitely wanted to fuck her, but not now. Now I know that I genuinely love her. It is too late for all of late. I know she has no love left for me. I broke her heart. It is too late for us and anything that could have been between us.

I pull into the pack hospital. I drove slowly, giving Beta Bailey and Alaska time to get here and to settle Alaska. I wait a few more minutes. I do not want to see Beta Bailey of Alaska. I cannot handle seeing either of them at this moment. I know Beta Bailey has a lot to say to me.

I finally get out of my truck after an hour. Beta Bailey never came back out, so I assume she is staying with Alaska for a while. I go through the front door and walk toward the back. I see Doctor James speaking with another doctor. When he sees me, he motions for me to wait. Maybe Alaska does not want me here at all and told Doctor James not to let me see her. He cannot really stop me, but he can relay her wishes.

Doctor James finishes his conversation and walks over to me. He is smiling, so he has not talked to Alaska yet.

"Alaska is getting settled into a room. She said she wanted to rest here, that the pack house was a little rowdy tonight. It probably is for the best. I am sure she is excited about Finn waking up," Doctor James says.

I step back. Did he say Finn is awake? I thought Finn was almost dead. "What did you say about Finn?" I ask. I am in complete shock.

Doctor James smacks me on the arm. "It is a damn miracle he survived. He is awake. Would you like me to take you to him?" Doctor James asks.

"Yes, I would. I am actually here to check on Finn," I answer.

"Follow me," Doctor James says.

As we walk to Finn's room, Doctor James rattles off medical terminology about Finn and his condition. He goes on and on until we finally make it to Finn's room. Doctor James does not go into the room with me. He leaves when I enter the room.

The room that Finn is resting in is cold, and there are a lot of beeping noises and machine noises. Finn's eyes are closed as I walk over to the bed. "I am awake, Alpha Kai," Finn says. He opens his eyes and looks at me.

"I am happy to see you are making a recovery," I say.

Finn laughs. "No, you are not. Admit it. You want me dead. You think I want to take Alaska from you," Finn says.

I grab a chair from in front of a small window and pull it to the side of Finn's bed. "I came here so we could talk," I say. I look around the ice blue room. How could anyone rest in this depressing room?

"You want me to leave the pack?" Finn asks.

I shake my head. "Not exactly. I want you to take Alaska and leave the pack. Did you know she is pregnant? I think she still loves you, Finn and I know that I am no good for her. I have already broken her heart. Alaska deserves better than me," I say.

It pains me to admit that I do not deserve her. The truth always hurts, and this time, it cuts deep. Finn is looking at me as if I am crazy. "Have you lost your damn mind?" Finn asks me.

"No, I cheated on Alaska, and she knows about it. She left me. I think you should take her and go," I say.

"Now, I know you have lost your damn mind. Alaska loves you. I know she loves you. I cannot believe I am having this conversation. I am barely alive, and you come at me with this. Alpha Kai, get your shit together. Find Alaska and tell her how you feel. Tell her you cannot live without her. Tell her what you feel, but get the fuck out of my room with this bullshit!" Finn says.

I take a deep breath and think for a moment about what he said. He is right. I do love her, and I do want to be with her. Maybe I do not deserve her, but I will never let her down again if she gives me another chance.

"Alpha Kai," Beta Bailey comes into the room. She is stunned to see me with Finn.

"He came to talk to me," Finn says quickly.

"About what? Breaking hearts or whoring around?" Beta Bailey questions me.

I leap out of the chair and to my feet. "I came to tell Finn the truth," I say. My first instinct was to knock Beta Bailey down a notch, but I know she is only protecting Alaska.

"What about Alaska?" Beta Bailey asks.

"I wanted to tell her. I went to the pack house to tell her, but then I found out she was pregnant, and I did not know what to do," I say.

"The truth would be nice," Beta Bailey says.

I look at Finn and then Beta Bailey. "Where is she?" I ask.

Beta Bailey hesitates. "She is down the hall on the left, last room. Tell her the truth, and maybe she will forgive you, Alpha Kai. I do not like you like this. As your friend, I am telling you to get your shit together and not let Alaska go. She makes you a better wolf. Do not fall back into the old you," Beta Bailey says.

I nod my head. I know Beta Bailey is right. Finn is right too. I have to get Alaska back. I have to tell her the truth.