Chapter 60

The moon room was exquisite, it was beautiful and sad, covered in white roses. It marked the beginning of my new life and the end of my old one. The moon was already high in the sky, and the stars are everywhere, covering the room in their natural light.
There is a stone slab right in the middle of the room, surrounded by water and fallen rose petals with a single walkway. If i had to go through the transition anywhere, i am glad it is here.
It's a nice place to die.
“Are you ready?” luthor asks, “It’s almost time.”
I walk nervously towards the stone alter as i let go of Mihai’s hand, and i force myself not to glance back, i don’t want them to see the fear in my eyes.
This is going to be fucking awful, but afterwards I'll be stronger and faster, I'll be a Nati.
If Nathanial could see me now, he would pierce my heart with the biggest knife he could find, my brothers would make it slow, but the man i used to call father wouldn’t. I'd like to think he wouldn’t, even if he did lie to me my entire life.
I climb onto the cold stone and lay down, looking up at the full moon, i don’t allow the tears to fall, but they are there, hidden behind my eyes. This is it. I'm going to be so much different.
Will i still be me? Or will it change me completely?
Luthor walks towards me, smiling, but it doesn’t ease my fear, it only adds to it. What if this is all a trap? What if he kills me?
I almost sit myself up, but before i can, Luthor is biting into his wrist and pressing it against my mouth, giving me no choice but to swallow it down. In any other situation i would have fought him off and smacked him in the mouth a couple of times. But i don’t, i can’t. I can’t fucking move.
My body has frozen, and my mind is screaming at me to run, something is wrong, i should be able to move, shouldn’t i?
“don’t panic Mae, my blood has sedative affects, it should help you with the pain, but you won’t be able to move for a while.” Says Luthor, a small smile in the corners of his lips, “The moon is almost where it is supposed to be, it is time.” he turns to Mihai, “You can give her your blood now. Be quick.”
I stare up at the stars, wondering if after tonight i will join them, surely this can’t be how born Nati turn, it is so strange, so wrong. It doesn’t feel right.
Though perhaps that is because i have never seen anything like this before, the hunter council have no idea that this ceremony exists. It a tightly kept secret.
There is so much i should know, but i don’t, i was raised by the wrong family. I should have been with Luthor and my Nati siblings. Maybe then i wouldn’t have grown up feeling so out of place.
I still feel out of place.
Mihai steps up to the altar, wrapping his fingers around my chin and making me look at him, “This is going to be hard on you, love, but don’t worry, I'll be here with you, right until the end.”
I'd smile at him if i could, I'd tell him that i appreciate him, and that i am grateful he’s here. Even if he did take away my best friend. My only friend.
“Drink as much as you can.” He says, pressing his bloody wrist to my mouth. “It will make the transition easier.”
I swallow as much as i possibly can before the wound heals, and i try not to puke it all back out. I've never drank so much blood before, and it isn’t settling.
Maybe it is the transition, or maybe it is my own mind playing tricks on me, making me want to reject it all.
Either way, the more i drink, the heavier and sicker i feel, it is like my body is made of cement. It was too much, I'm too heavy.
“It’s starting.” Mihai says, frowning, “Hold on Mae, I'm right here.”
Just as he speaks the first wave of pain strikes at my chest like a python at their prey, and i scream, i scream so loud that the walls tremble and the ground shakes.
It hurts, fuck it hurts.
I can’t do this, i won’t survive it.
Another wave hits me, and i scream again, louder than before, my throat burning as my voice breaks, Luthor’s blood has done nothing to ease it. Or perhaps it has, perhaps it isn’t as bad as it is supposed to be. But i cannot do it.
I don’t want to do it.
I want to go home, back to my old life, i don’t want to be a Nati.