Chapter 83

**MAE POV**

The walk back to the mansion seemed to take a lot longer than the walk to the cabin the day before, and I was starting to get restless, and a little annoyed, and also, very, very, hungry. I can’t wait much longer to eat, not when it felt like my insides are on fire. It’s like an inferno in my chest that is climbing up and up into my throat. It isn’t nice.
In fact, it is very fucking painful, and it’s making me angry. I hate being in pain. It always tests my patience. And I don’t have very much patience to test. Not anymore.
When I was younger I had loads, I could hold my temper back for hours, even during the hunter training. Nathanial always joked that I had no emotion at all back then, and maybe I didn’t. But I did feel better back then. I felt more in control of myself than I do now.
I miss my younger years, and the time I spent training, it was hard work, and some days, after hours on the track, I could barely move an inch or two. But it was always worth it. And I got stronger very quickly. I was fighting people who were 10x my size by the time I was eleven.
“What are you thinking about, love?” Mihai asks, watching me as we walk hand in hand. “You seem deep in thought.”
I laugh a little, though it’s more because of nerves than the fact it was funny. “Nothing important really, I was thinking about my childhood.” I say slowly, looking up at the towering trees, “my favourite memories are all during training to be a hunter.”
“That’s pretty sad.” Luthor said from my left, his eyes dark, “that man who raised you is scum, he never did anything that benefited you or your childhood. He only made you do what benefited him.”
I think for a moment, “it’s true that he was only ever happy when I took someone down who was twice my size.” I turn my my father, the man who wasn’t there my entire life, and for a moment, I feel sad.
What would life have been like if it was Luthor who raised me? Would I have played with my siblings? Would I have had a mother?
There are so many possibilities, but none that I will ever experience for myself. I can’t go back in time and change what my life was like, and there in no sense in dwelling on the past. Not when I cannot do anything about it. The past should be left where it is, it is the future that matters. Nothing else.
Well, maybe the present. The present matters. Live in the now, take care to treasure each smile, each laugh. And each small moment of happiness.
“Nathanial wasn’t a brilliant dad.” I admit, not looking either of them in the eye, “but he was all I knew for a very long time. I guess part of me thought that it was normal for the type of family we were. But now I see that it was all for him. Not me, not my brothers. But it was for his image. It was all for what he could gain from having powerful, obedient children.” I laugh bitterly, “I wonder what the other hunters think of him now, he hid me right under their noses for years. I bet they are not too pleased about that.”
“You’re lucky that you got out alive.” Mihai says, squeezing my hand, “if I hadn’t had took you when I did, you may have been murdered the moment you came of age.”
“You’re right.” I state coldly, “but that doesn’t mean that I can’t miss the life that I had, because for the good and the bad, I was ok back then. I had family.”
“You have family now.” Luthor says, stopping so suddenly I almost bump into him, “you don’t have to worry about every being alone, we might not know you as well as the human family does, but we love you just as much, maybe more.”
I release Mihai’s hand and walk into my fathers open arms, “I know you care about me.” I say, wrapping my arms around him middle, “but I guess sometimes I am afraid to let people in again.”
He strokes his hand up and down my back, comforting me in a way that only a father can, “it’s ok to be cautious.” He says, “especially after all you have been through.”
I step back, taking a long, deep breath, “we need to hurry.” I say, rubbing my temples, “I’m starting to feel strange. I think I need to eat.”
Luthor glances at Mihai, “what do you mean you feel weird?”
“I don’t know.” I murmur, growing cross. “I feel like my throat is on fire and my head is pounding.”
I fucking hate this. I feel like shit.
I should have stayed in bed.
“Mae.” Mihai says, stepping forward and holding out his wrist, “you need to drink some of my blood.”
I frown, “why would I need to do that?”
Is he crazy?
Mihai frowns back at me, though his eyes were still soft, “Because the pain you are feeling is your body telling you that you need blood, and if you don’t get it soon you may become very ill, and out of control.”
“Oh.” I say, turning to my dad, “is that true?” I ask him. “Will I lose control?”
“You are a new Nati, you aren’t used to the amount of energy you use during daylight hours.” Luthor says, his voice low and gentle, “if you don’t drink from Mihai until we can get you back to the mansion then there is a chance that you will hurt someone.”
I sigh, collapsing onto my backside, “come here then.” I tell Mihai, “but you have to promise to stop me if I try and take too much, ok?”
Mihai nods, kneeling in front of me, “I promise to stop you if I need to.”
I smile, and nod, satisfied with his answer.
I look down at his wrist, my mouth watering as I slowly bite down, my sharpened teeth piercing the skin with no effort at all. And fuck, he tastes fucking delicious. Like heaven. Or chocolate.
All I know is that I don’t want to stop. I want to keep going, it’s addictive, and it makes the burning in my throat fade away into a soft rumble of hunger.
I could get used to this, I used to think that drinking blood was disgusting, but now, I understand the obsession.
I never want to stop.