Heartbreak

Fahmeen's POV:

There was loud conversations and laughter. People paid no mind to the professor noisily setting up his lesson. His frustration poured out as he loosens his tie and waits, arms folded for the class to quiet down.

It takes a minute or two as I watch and wait, nervously expecting him to speak.
"Today we are going to learn a valuable lesson, students." I did the same as my classmates, confused faces looking around. He never calls us 'students'.

"A lesson in rules. More specifically? Following them. And what goes wrong when you... don't." I gulp meeting his eyes. He's so focused and detached.
"What happened to going over questions as a group?" Joey asks.
"Not today. I've had an epiphany. Seen the light, if you will." I feel a double meaning and I can't shake off the discomfort he's making me feel with his choice of words.
"I think we should establish some ground rules. I feel like boundaries have been crossed, this may have been my mistake but I've let this go on for too long."

My classmates soon replace their confusion with guilt and realisation. It's true, as a class we've taken advantage of Rolf's laidback style and leniency.
"Some of you haven't even started your coursework! I'm disappointed guys, really." He shakes his head.
We've been assigned our major coursework which will make up a significant portion of our overall grade. And again, it's true some people hadn't even bothered to choose their question; using English as a free period. Harriet's become sort of a leader of her own social club and Russel discusses his chess championship amongst his friends. Like I said nobody really talked to me apart from Georgia so I was the observer. But I can't help but believe there was more to his anger... and disappointment.

"At the beginning of every lesson, I expect to see all of your courseworks on your desks - ready for me to see them. I don't care how far you've gotten - I need to see that you've started."

"Second, I understand I've been away for a week. But I'm back and I expect better. From all of you." I can't look at his eyes anymore, not when he keeps giving me that stare. I need to speak with him.

"Also, I'm your professor. I help you, you help me. We've developed a special relationship, you're a great bunch. I'm lucky. But, we have to remember why we're here. We can joke, be friends but that's it." He looks down, and he takes in a deep breath.
"I have to draw the lines." I have to see him now and he's still looking down. He's said that quieter.

Why do I feel like he doesn't want me anymore?
I wish I'm looking too much into it but as he slowly looks up and catches my eye. I know I'm wrong.

...

Honestly it was hard sitting there. Watching him carry on teaching and everyone oblivious to what he obviously meant. He was done with me, with us I'm sure of it. The worst part is I don't even know what changed? It can't have been me talking to Emilio, that was nothing.

My throat hurts and I grind my teeth, trying not to cry. I don't look at him anymore. It's almost 3 o clock and I pack away my things prematurely.
"A bit early, Fahmeen." Rolf says. I still don't look at him.
"I have somewhere to be, sir." I know he dislikes sir so I can't help saying it. I don't want to talk to him either, eager to leave as soon as he says,
"Class dismissed."
And I'm gone. I even ignore him calling me. I don't want to hear it.

Fahmeen's POV:

Saturday came and went and he didn't show up. My mother was disappointed, I could tell.
"No lesson today?"
"I guess not." I say. I assure her with a a fake smile as she looks like she wants to ask if I'm okay. She knows me. She understands when I'm sad. I've been withdrawing myself in my room, tired from overthinking the whys and hows. Throughout the week, Rolf has been breaking me slowly by ignoring me. Avoiding my eyes. I no longer ask him to mark questions after school and he doesn't ask why. I no longer read as Cleopatra in class and that seemed to affect him.

"Harriet, do you want to be Cleopatra?"
Rolf furrows his eyebrows in question at me but I watch Harriet break out her dazzling smile.
"Oh sure Fahmeen. Thanks!" She winks and begins to read. I sink lower into my seat and hide my face behind the play, not allowing myself to face his hurt expression.

I sigh and look up at my ceiling, bored with sulking after him. The pain needs to go away now. Lesson learnt, never develop feelings for your teacher.
My mother's bought a whole load of houseplants and I hear her shuffling around downstairs, arranging them. I smile at the thought of helping her out. I loved bonding with my mum.

"Wanna give me a hand?"
"Yes." I reply enthusiastically.
"I wanna cook dinner today. I fancy a chilli." cooking was therapy for me. The kitchen to myself and ingredients to experiment with and create delicious recipes.
"Okay." She shrugs, smiling at me.

...

Rolf's POV:

I grew frustrated rereading the note I received a week ago.
I know your secret, Professor

My heart was thundering, frustrated at exactly what it was referencing and who wrote it. My rationale denied it was my relation with... her but still. I shake my head, trying to clear her face from my mind though it was difficult to. I imagine her sad eyes burning my face during class. My fist comes down hard remembering when she refused to read as Cleopatra. Why that burned me inside? I don't completely know. It just hurt. All this hurt because of that note.

...

Fahmeen's POV:

"Mum, I need to talk to you." I've finished my portion of the washing up, the chilli came out pretty good. My sister looks at me questioningly but I don't want to talk to anybody but my mum about this.
"Okay, what's up?" She asks, settling on the sofa in the living room. I clean myself up and join her.

"I'm going bed." My sister, Sam yawns and with heavy steps she goes upstairs. She had an early start for university tomorrow.

"Go on." My mother encourages me and I sigh, butterflies in my stomach.
"Let's say there's someone I like. And I know he likes me. I think we might have been in a relationship but before I could even understand it it's over. And he tells me subliminally."
"Wait a minute. You're with somebody! You didn't tell me."
"No wait. That's part of it, I don't know myself but he was special mum. We have this incredible connection. And he just stops everything and acts like we never existed." Tears surface and my mother's surprised.
"Fahmeen. Who is he? When did all this happen?" She's speaking to me gently.
"It doesn't matter, we both are at the academy and you would've really liked him." I look at her, remembering last Saturday and how happy Rolf made her.

"Well, if he's not interested anymore then that's what he's showing. I'm sorry that he told you like that. If he was really a special person, the right one for you, he would've never hurt you like that for no reason." I nod, taking in everything she's telling me. But the last part stays in my mind.

He would've never hurt you like that for no reason