Testing
Fahmeen's POV:
I see him slip away into the night, missing him already as he leaves me here. Again. Rolf has been doing this since... what happened between us. He'd spend five/ten minutes parked outside, doing nothing in particular. Just being there.
The curtains fall as I walk to my bed. This would be the first night I haven't cried, so I spend it wisely. I actually read the text messages he's been sending me since I left. Apart from the brief ones telling me of how much he misses and loves me, I read the rest, the longer ones.
I can't sleep at night knowing I've pushed you away, baby. Please tell me you love me. I need to know you still love me.
That was the latest one. Over four hours ago, he sent that. I cover my mouth to muffle my sob as everyone else would be in their rooms by now. I couldn't explain how much I love him and a digital declaration wouldn't be enough. I'm going to save that for when he's earned it. Earned my love. I have to be strong and refuse to allow my withering self esteem to convince me he can be happy with someone else. Who was I to keep hold of? I have to stop those thoughts from coming into my mind because he told me he loved me, showed me and Rolf is no liar.
...
"Are you feeling okay?" My mother passed me a cup of decaffeinated coffee.
"She's moving a lot." I feel her little feet against the skin of my stomach. Mum warmly smiles at me and then sits down.
"And you? You look so tired."
I sigh, unable to give her a clear answer.
"I'm managing. I have to go, don't want to be late today."
"Oh yes, it's the last one isn't it?"
"Yeah. The last one."
After today I'd never have to set foot in that building anymore, I suddenly feel melancholic. It's a relief to stress about one less thing, however the memories... and the people. I'll miss a lot too.
...
I'm in English class and I watch Rolf give us last minute advice before the final exam. I look around fondly at my classmates. Harriet's desk is covered with paper and ink. I remember how serious she was to get that university place. I hear Russel say something to make his girlfriend, Maddy laugh.
"You've been the greatest pleasure to teach, guys. And... I will miss you. Each and every one of you." Rolf looked at me then and his expression, just for a second, changed into something he'd only share with me. I look down as I'm unable to share that now.
"You've made my experience here memorable. I couldn't imagine any other group of students allowing me to so easily settle in as you have."
He chuckles and I can see him clench his jaw. He's trying not to cry.
A chair squeaks back and Joey stands up.
"I think I speak for us all here when I say we were lucky to have you, Professor." He initiates a round of applause. Rolf smiles at us and bows his head.
As we each leave the room, our professor says a few words to his students. Once it was my turn, I couldn't look him in the eyes as he was doing to me before I even walked up to him. I was the last in line.
"Good luck, sweetheart. How is our baby?" My heart did a flip and I was trying so hard not to let the sound of his voice soothe me or his words touch me. I hold my belly and his hand comes over mine. I didn't want to brush it away though I probably should have.
"She's doing good, your daughter's very active."
His chuckle catches me off guard and so I look at him. He smiles at me, it's of love and affection and so pure.
"And you? Are you doing good?" His eyes search mine, looking for anything amiss.
"I'm fine, Rolf." I gently place his hand by his side.
"Thank you for the wish of luck, I should go."
He looks like he doesn't want me to but I leave anyways. I got to learn to maintain a healthy distance for now.
...
Fahmeen's POV:
As per tradition, we have an assembly with the principal before our final exam. We've all taken our seats, me and Georgia next to each other and I can sense her anxiety. I'm feeding off of it as reality is slowly setting in. This is it.
Jasper walks in with a purpose, a determined look on his face. He smiles at those of us across the front row and tries to make eye contact with as many of us as he speaks. Rolf is here too, he's standing by the side with a few other teachers who will wait for us to complete the exam and want to know how it went. He's rolled his shirt up to his elbows and his glasses hang off of his shirt.
Like the careful Professor he is, he's maintaining silence in the crowd whilst constantly watching me. This reminds me of our first few moments. Not only is my heart missing him but my body too. Those vivid, sexy dreams I used to have before have returned. Only steamier now as it's playing on my real life experiences. I hope he fixes this soon.
Sharing his very few words of wisdom and plenty of jokes, Jasper wishes us luck and the time has come.
"Good luck." Georgia kisses my cheek and we stand with the rest of our classmates. Rolf approaches our line as we begin to head out and Jasper too. Rolf watches him do so and becomes tense as Jasper stands with me and Georgia. He wants to come to me but Joey asks him a question and I see the frustration on his face as he's held back.
"I'm confident you'll do well." Jasper says to the both of us. He winks and there's a warm, familiar smile towards me so I can't help mine back.
"Thanks."
Rolf overheard me and looks my way. I see his eyes notice the close proximity of Jasper and he quickly walks over.
"Girls, Jasper." He nods at him and Jasper's smile disappears.
"Professor. You don't have to worry about these students, I know they'll crush this." He pats him on the shoulder and I want to roll my eyes at how condescending he's being. Rolf almost shrugs him off but I guess remembers where he is and bites back a snarl.
"I know my students, Jasper."
He comes in between us two and Rolf looks at us. Jasper just scoffs and moves back, crossing his arms.
"Girls, focus and remember. Now's the time to pull all the stops. I believe in the both of you. Best of luck."
I nod my thanks and Jasper clears his throat.
"It's time kids! Let's go."
As we begin walking to the examination hall, Rolf falls in line with me so that it's just the two of us. He pushes his hands into his pockets and we don't say anything. There's an overwhelming sense of calm and security with him next to me. I feel confident and believe in myself.
"Nervous?" He watches me from the side but I don't look at him.
"Not really."
I can tell he's smiling, it makes me want to smile too but I stop myself.
I feel sad once we approach our final destination and he heavily sighs.
"Go time, baby."
I look up at him and he gives me a smile that I couldn't forget. I miss his touch. I miss him.
...
I don't see him when I leave the hall. My disappointment is evident and obvious but Georgia doesn't mind.
"He's probably really busy with work." She sees right through me so I don't bother hiding my feelings with my best friend.
"How are you? With Aston, I mean."
"Finished. I broke it off." She gives me a toothy grin and I'm suddenly so ecstatic. I grab her into a bone crushing bear hug, and I feel tears in my eyes.
"I'm so proud of you." She squeezes me back and now we're both crying.
"Come on, let's go back to yours. I'm hungry for your mum's cooking."
"Me too." I giggle.
...
We walk up to the front door and it's eerily silent.
"Wander where everyone is?" Usually you can see someone in the living room or hear them in the back garden as the days are much more summery now that spring has fully kicked in.
Georgia shrugs and she gestures for me to open the door.
"SUPRISE!"
I gasp in shock as I see a crowd of my favourite people in the entire universe.
"What's this for?" I whisper back to Georgia.
"For the end of school, silly." And she nudges me forward before going to stand beside my brother. Strange, especially the way he's looking at her.
"Happy last day of school!" Sam and Adrian shout. Then they part way for someone walking towards me. They're holding a giant cake and there's candles and everything. But that's not what made me smile, it was the person behind it.
"Congratulations, baby." He says and we stand opposite each other once again.
So that's where he disappeared off to.