What are Friends For?

cont.

"I'm with Professor Rolf."


I open my eyes and she's staring at me.
"It's him?"
Her voice is a whisper and she looks away from my eyes. That hurts me because I don't know what she's thinking now.
"Yes." I sit down next to her and she hasn't moved away. That's a good sign.
"That's why you couldn't tell me."
Yes, she's being understanding.
"You couldn't tell me because you're fucking a professor!"
Wait, what?
"Georgia!" I stare at her wide eyed and her face is red and furious.
"You're not joking? Oh my God. What were you thinking!" Georgia stands up and starts pacing.

"I didn't plan this okay! I love him. We're in love. I thought you'd understand that at least."
I was hurt she was so angry at me. She was so quick to judge me and not understand it.
"How can you expect me to understand that? It's wrong. He's our teacher. You're his student. He shouldn't be involved with a student like that."

"I'm old enough Georgia and we're not just fucking." I'm getting sick of people reducing my first love to something so cheap.
"I fell in love with him. Just because he happens to be my professor doesn't matter. It's real what we have."
She scoffs, shaking her head at me.

"This is ridiculous. Does your family know?-
Oh wait, of course they don't. Your mum would never accept it. Your sister would never look at you the same way. And Jay?"
Her look of disappointment is breaking my heart.
"Jay probably would never speak to you again. Do you understand that?"

I feel like a volcano erupting inside my brain.
"YES! Yes I understand that! I fucking understand that. Don't you think I've been thinking about this? How we'll never be accepted? How I finally found somebody who'd love me?! Me? I found that person but because of who he is and who I am my own mother would hate it. You don't think I think about that?"
I cry, hiding my tears from my best friend. Unable to contain the secrets and the lies and the hurt. I just wanted to be loved. Feel love. But all I can see is pain.
"You're no friend to me." I get up and walk away quickly.

"Fahmeen wait!"
Her voice is distant and I feel so lonely right now.


I haven't taken my medication tonight. I won't. There's no point. It's not going to get better.

...

Rolf's POV:
It was a shock to see a familiar face like Jasper at work one morning. And then to find out he's kinda your boss. A shit show.

I'm going to Fahmeen's tonight. Formally introduce myself to her father, I don't care if he doesn't want to. Tough luck. He's gonna meet me. I want to meet him. Let him know I'm around and that I plan on staying around. I had to remind Susan too, that I was only a call away if she ever needed me. It was hard enough letting my own girl go back there every night, back under the same roof as that monster. This secret of ours was getting harder to keep.

I noticed the tired eyes and distance in her face. Something's occupying her mind. Apart from the obvious but there's something else and I intend on getting to the bottom of it.

"Meet me in my office."
Jasper says walking past my classroom. I'm packing my bag, the students already having emptied the building. He looked serious for once.

"Sit." He says opening a bottle of water. I sit and take the bottle and sip from it. Something in his face is unsettling.
He sighs, sitting down.
"There's something you should know."
"Go on." I gulp more water, my throat getting drier by the second.

"I married Jessie."
My heart is hammering against my chest. What the fuck?
I look up at him. He's not finished.

"Was there something else?" I spit out.

"We have a kid."
My mind went blank. I don't know what to think.
"How... how old is your kid?" I remember my own. The one she took from me.
"Five."
Five? That means she would've had the kid around the time we were still-
I stand up and bang my fist on the table.
"Is it mine?" I grab him by the collar over the desk.
"Is that my kid you're raising?!"
Jasper puts his hands up.
"Woah woah! Calm down. Please." My fist was so close to his face and my body shaking. It can't be. Not after all this time.
"We'll explain everything if you just come over tonight."
"We?"
His eyes meet mine in understanding.
"We."

...

Fahmeen's POV:

I bought a test, desperate to know. To know if I have my baby. To know there's something that proves our love inside of me, growing with time. I feel sick again but I can hold it as I sit on the bus. Rolf texted me he couldn't make it tonight. My heart sank. I wanted to see his face again today.

I run inside and to the bathroom. Reading the instructions was irritating so I did what the movies showed me and waited. Waited for the results which would change everything. This was all that mattered to me right now. I feel like if it told me otherwise I would die. This baby feels like my life cord. I need it. I know I'm not in the right frame of mind and I may suffer from withdrawal symptoms but I don't care. I just need some good news.

It was time.
I hold my breath as I turn it over.

*Negative*

Fuck.
Well, that's why I bought two.
A few minutes later


Positive

Fuck. Now what? Oh yes, I have a third. Shit I feel crazy.

Why am I crying? I look in the mirror and I'm a mess. I can't think straight except I want to see the word positive again. I have to hold onto the sink and steady my footing as I feel like I'm going to drop. Oh no, I am. I'm burning up.

Wait, I just need to turn it over one last time. My eyes I'm fighting to open.



*Positive*

I fall, my heart finally light as my body hits the ground.

...

I wake up exactly where I fell. It must've been only a minute or two I was passed out. That's how long these things usually last. I grab the most recent test and cling onto it. This was it. The one that proved your existence, sweetheart.
I try calling Rolf but he doesn't answer. His voice mail is all I hear but it's not enough. I figured he's busy with his own life and eventually went to bed.

Rolf's POV;

I had a sickening feeling walking up the steps to Jasper's home. It was a fancy townhouse, appropriate for a family. They lived in a friendly neighbourhood and I was grateful for the spacious parking. It was easy to keep an eye on my car.

*Knock knock*

I hear talking from within the house. Their curtains are shut but there are lights from within keeping the rooms cosy. As soon as the door opens and reveals Jasper, I get a phone call.

"Hey man, come on in." Jasper holds a bottle of beer and offers me one. I take it, thanking him and following inside. I'd have to take the call later.
"So, find us okay?"
We walk in the hallway, fancy mirrors and stylish vases holding flowers passing us.
"Yeah. It was pretty easy. Just follow the directions."
Jasper sniggers and I see him shake his head.

We're in what I presume is the living area. I sit on the couch and sit for Jasper to begin to explain why the fuck I was here.
"So I'll cut right to it for old times' sake?"
"Please do." I say sardonically.
He ignores my tone and begins.

"Me and Jessie. We got together way before I left for the army. We loved each other, Rolf."
I can't help but scoff.
"You beat me to it."
Jasper's eyes are a little mad, but I'll take it. He owes me this.
"I didn't know you even liked her in that way Rolf. If I did, we wouldn't have been a secret."

"Then why did Jessie accept me?" I didn't understand a lot about my best friends apparently.
"She.. I guess she got lonely. She wasn't a fan of me being who I was either. So I let her go. But she wrote to me. Saying she was pregnant."
So the baby wasn't even mine. I grind my teeth, ignoring the dull pain in my chest. All these years I thought about that baby. And it wasn't even mine.

"It was more or less as soon as I got there she told me that. So I know it was mine. That's why I couldn't be the same with you when I came back. To see you so happy with my girl and my baby. I hated you for it. So I left."
Why did I feel used? Betrayed?
"So I was just caught in the middle, is that it? Collateral damage in your love story?"
"No! You were my closest friend. My brother, Rolf. It just got messy."

It was quiet for a moment. My thoughts then went to Jessie and their kid.
"Why did she let me believe it was mine?"
Jasper looked a little lost for words at first.
"You'll have to ask her that."
And in the perfect moment, she walked in.