Calm Before the Storm

"Look, I won't lie. Going back home and getting that job is something I've dreamed of doing, okay?"
I look down, hoping I don't cry in front of him. He tilts my chin up, making sure he can see me.
"But you are my life now."

"What?" I have to blink to see him through my tears. I hold onto his hand. He's smiling at me, his own eyes are glossy.
"You are my life, Fahmeen. I want to be with you for the rest of my life and wherever else comes after."

There's more.

"I'm going to ask something of you I truly want. Can you let me do that?"
"What about class?"
"I got someone to cover whilst I looked for you."
"So, can I?"
I feel sick.

"Come with me?"

...

"You.. you mean with you to America?" I can't believe it. Speechless. Panicked. Excited. Scared.
"With me to America." He confirms, kissing my hand.
"How? How can we do that? I have a family here. Who by the way have no idea about this and most definitely will never accept it.
So how, Rolf?"
I sense his frustration but then he looks confident. Powerful.

"We're going to tell them. Your mom, your sister, your brother, Penelope, even your father. Everybody that cares about you is going to know that I love you. I don't care anymore, Fahmeen. I don't care what people are going to think about us. Fuck everyone who dares tell me to keep away from you. I can't. I won't." He pulls me into a bear hug and rests his chin on my head. I'm so scared because I believe him. He will tell them. And I'm going to stand beside him when he does. But there's still something I need to do.

"Rolf?" My voice comes out quiet against his chest.
"Hmm? Let's just stay like this a few more minutes."
"But I have to tell you something too." He releases me and holds me by the shoulders.
"What is it?" He knows it's serious. But I don't want him to think it's something horrible so I softly smile. I take his hand, he's confused. I place it on my stomach and it dawns on him.

"You're pregnant."

...

He stares at me for a good few seconds. My smile is about to disappear because I don't know if this is his good reaction.

But Rolf hugs me. He hugs me so tight that I mould into his body. We fit like a jigsaw and we now had our final piece.

*Complete*

"Our baby... is inside you." I hear him whisper into my hair. I can feel the fast rhythm of his heartbeat. It feels like galloping horses against my own chest.
"R-right now?" He comes away and looks to me for confirmation. His eyes are filled to the brim in hope and happiness. I wish we could be like this forever.
I could only nod as this man made me speechless. So content.

Rolf drops to his knees, eyes locked onto my stomach. I feel his wide palm gently touch there. I stroke his hair watching him connect with our daughter.
I believe we have a girl. Call it a hunch.
He strokes it like I do. Then he pulls me by the waist and hugs me. Wrapping his arms behind my back and resting his face against our future.

"Yes."
Rolf hears that and looks up at me, wandering what I just answered.

"I'll go home with you."

I can see most of his teeth as he smiles at me. He jumps up and heartily chuckles. Picking me up and kissing me. I pull him close by the neck, enjoying the love of his tongue.
I would go anywhere with him because he was my home.

...

Rolf hurried us to his place.
He struggled to contain his excitement when we got back to lesson. There was this pure smile on his face and I think everyone noticed. He didn't, because he carried on like normal. I had to hide my smile, only Georgia could see it. She was relieved and so pleased Rolf finally knew.
"I'm so happy for you." She whispered to me. As much as I wish to relax, I can't. Knowing what's going to happen tonight.
Everything's going to change.

...

"Babe, slow down."
We're both high, in spirits and of our own big news. He's zipping through traffic, desperate to get us alone. I secretly think he's afraid of what might happen after revealing our relationship. That something will separate us, so I know that we need to be together to bask in the happiness of what dwells inside of me.


We're quick to arrive at the apartment and he grabs my hand, pulling me alongside his fast strides.
He unlocked his door and before I could step in he turns to connect our lips. Rolf picks me up and I wrap my legs around his waist. He kicks the door shut and leans me against it. I unbutton his shirt and relax as soon as I can touch his skin. It's warm under my touch, familiar.

I feel us moving. He's taking us to his bedroom, our lips refuse to separate. Our tongues are too busy. Hands are in a frenzy. Clothes falling.

All this leads to us landing on his bed, naked. Rolf leans into my ear, whispering,
"Feel me now."
And then I feel him slowly edge inside of me. Slowly. He was using just the tip of his cock to fuck me. He kept himself up and we kept up this medium pace. The bed squeaking beneath us.

I can hear how wet I am, he groans in pain and pleasure from holding himself back. He wants to take his time,
"Savour... you." He says in between trembling thrusts. I bring him closer to me that he falls. Our chests are pressed together and he kisses my chest. He stays there and I feel him go deeper. The bed moans at this change in depth and pace. I moan at this change of depth and pace.

The sweat from his forehead drops onto my skin, our breathing fast and chests heaving.
"Rolf I... love you.."
He's kissing my neck and grinding into me.
"I love you." I hear him in between hot kisses.

I've orgasmed twice. He's still going. I feel him fully inside of me and it's not long before he surrenders to the climax of our high. His final thrust shakes the headboard and he groans low and deep into my neck. Unable to keep himself up anymore. Succumbing to the aftershocks.

We stay like this, neither of us wanting to move.

...

I think he's fallen asleep, so I just stroke his hair and take it out of his ponytail.
I can't help but think about the coming hours. The final reckoning?
I feel sick. No, like really sick so I nudge him awake. Thankfully his eyes open just in time for me to escape to the bathroom.

"Fahmeen?" I hear the worry but I hope the sounds of my retching let him know it's nothing but this. He rushes in regardless and helps me out.
"God, it's real isn't it." He's smiling whilst I'm sweating and reeking of vomit.
"Sure is."
I beg him for a toothbrush and he snaps out of his daze before giving me a spare.

He hugs me from behind as I brush, kissing my neck and watching me through the mirror.
"Are you scared?"
I think about his question. Am I? I look back at him and realise I'm not.
I shake my head no and I see his face relax.
"Good, you don't have to be."

...

Fear and anxiety grips me like an iron fist, driving up to my home. Rolf looks over at me and I think he knows I'm seconds away from crying.
"Be strong for me, baby." He kisses my hand. I exhale, my anxious stomach struggling to settle.

Mum's watching TV in the living room, I can see her on the sofa with Sam. After he parks up, he doesn't move yet. This short moment of peace will be the last for a while. We're savouring it, I wander if he's scared too?

"How do you feel?"
I watch his reaction but he's the picture of serenity. Like he's fully under control.
"I feel relieved, to be honest. I'm ready to tell the truth and face it. I know you are too."
I nod and prepare to get out of the car.
"Okay, let's do it."

I'm unlocking the door and I'm wandering if I'll ever be able to do this again. Would I be welcome in this house anymore?
"Here, let me." Rolf takes over as I paused, preoccupied with my thoughts.
"Alright, ready?" His hand is ready for me to take, and I breathe in strong, filling my lungs before taking it.

We walk inside, muffled voices from the TV can be heard through the walls.
"Fahmeen, is that you?" Mum calls out.
"Y-Yes. It's me."
I make sure to hold onto his hand as we go into the living room. Our hands are now in open view. My mum is the first to notice, her eyebrows are furrowed as she looks questioningly between us. Her eyes travel from our hands up to Rolf then to my face. I see shock, hurt and finally disgust.
"What is this?" Her face turns dark with anger and Sam turns to us.
"Oh my God." She gasps, staring at me.