NEW FORM OF EXISTING BONDS.

“so that’s mostly my life right there in words but if you ask me why I did this I did this for your safety not for your brokenness, I wanted you to not turn out like him, he killed people with a smile and he doesn’t have emotions but pretends he does. I just didn’t want that to be you and now he is back, I don’t know what to do, when I saw that letter my heart almost stopped and instantly I started sweating, I thought he was around, I thought he was already somewhere in the house but I read through and then I understood. “ she said to me as she explained but I still did not completely agree, I still had some kind of thing to say but I couldn’t put it into words….

“I know you have a lot to say about this but all I can say is I understand, I have made you grow up without a father, I know you would think that, its your decision to become who you want to be, I know you will think that, so I came to a conclusion.” She said to me and that caught my attention, she was right, I really thought those things and I wanted answers to those questions, my heart demands a conclusion.

“I will allow him come to see you, I will allow him come here and he will probably want to take you away but if you chose to go then its fine, I will stay alone…” she said to me as her eyes already mellowed down, she has cried too much today.
“I Will not leave you mama, I want you to be there when all the good happens and when all the beauty takes place, I won’t leave you, you will be my source of light in his dark reality.” I said to her as her eyes sparkled with hope.

“I…will……Thankyou.” She said as she held her chest and the dam broke, crying so hard she almost lost her balance.
“ Mama" I said trying to help her maintain her balance by holding her up.
“Thank you so much, I was scared, I was scared you would leave meee...” she said crying and hugging me tightly.
“Thank you…..” she said thanking me, I couldn’t hold her up anymore so we both slowly went down to the ground.
I felt really hurt, I felt her pain.

“why would you think I would leave you, me? Mama you are the one who raised me, you cared for me and made sure I was fed when you starved.. why?” I said as my tone faded in-between my words, I was hurt, not because she thought that, I was hurt because I made her think that, its not right.

“The way you behaved yesterday, it scared me, I was so scared, I thought I wasn’t going to see you again, I never knew I was afraid of such till it happened.” She said as tears kept on pouring.

“Mama, I will not go anywhere, I am here, it doesn’t matter what happens I will always come back, I will not disappear and let you fend for yourself, I will not Mama" I said as my wailing started.

“Its okay, my Mi Nino, its okay don’t cry.” She said, patting my head.

“Don’t pat my head, you need someone to pat your head too.” I said to her as I tried to and then she laughed, and I also laughed too.

“Don’t think like that again okay" I told her, finally calming down and then she nodded and we hugged for a while.
We sat down comfortably with me in front of her in the middle of her leg, backing her and she at my back, playing with my hair.

“So what I came up with is, you can go there and see him and all or he would come over to see you, but he will try and persuade you to stay and live with him but that’s up to you, beware, mi hijo, he is highly manipulative, I know this one very well so just be careful.” She advised me.
“Yes, Mama. I understand you.” I replied.

I will be 15 in a week and I suspected that’s when he will be showing up, I wasn’t sure but I just felt it, maybe its cause his my dad? I don’t know but that’s what I feel.
The next day came fast and mommy escorted me a little out of the street, but I persuaded her to go back because I wanted to walk alone.
Walking to school, I saw my new friend from afar I decided to run to him.

“yo!” I said to him getting to his side.
“oh, hey man, whatsup.” He replied me
“ yeah I’m good and you whatsup” I asked him
“Same old same old.” He replied me.
“So you know after we talked yesterday, we actually did not get our names.” I said to him.
“oh, wait oh yeah that’s true.” He replied me with, laughing.
“Well, I’m Evander and you?” He asked me.
“I’m Sabastian, not like you dont know” I said to him.
“Yeah, you are quite popular in school, not just popular among the students but also among the teachers.” He said to me.
“oh, so what have you heard about me.” I asked him.

“How do I start, OK, umm, from the student angle, you are called stubborn, strong, while the seniors describe you as, annoying, pain the ass, uh and a lot more but the teachers they call you, Brilliant mind, wasted potential, Annoyingly gifted and so on and so forth.” He said.
“Ohh, well I guess I am popular, it's not been easy though, it’s been hard keeping up and repetition as both the good and bad, so yeah” I said making a funding face with a smirk and then he laughed.
“Though you’re not going to ask about yourself, I know you’re known for rubbish, I know truly you are hiding your potential, whenever the seniors coner you or even our own mates, You always decide to do nothing, and sometimes you take your anger on things around you but still doesn’t matter, in the eyes of whomever is watching that was a timid move.” I bluntly said to him.

“Wow, that was direct.” He replied me.
No I’m serious, you know you can beat them, you know you can win but then you always back down, sometimes you are very close to proving yourself then boom, you sit back down, why do you always do that?” I asked him
“Well, maybe because you are wrong.” He replied with his smile.
“No, that’s bullshit, and even you know.” I said to him but he gave no reply so Thought it was a bad idea, I had an idea and that idea was to bring out his inner demon, I wanted him to fight back for once, I wanted him to be angry.

So my plan was to take his watch and see his reaction.
After pleading to see his watch I decided I was not going to give him back till he does something drastic, so he asked for the watch and I went through it what I refuse to give him, he took it playfully but then started to get annoyed.

“Bro its not funny.” He said as his eyes carried seriousness. That’s exactly what I wanted.
“ well if you want it come get it.” I said to him with a serious face too.
“Bro look, I don’t want any trouble just hand it over, You know what, I won’t fight over this, when you feel like giving it over then you will.” He said smiling.

“Really, I mean have you ever thought maybe this character is why your mum always treats you like you aren’t her child” I said to him and then he stopped in his tracks.
Ooouuuu, did I strike a nerve.

“You don’t have the right to mention my mother, heck, you don't even understand my life” he said back to me with all the seriousness he abandoned gathering back to his face.
“I will ask you one more time, give me back my watch” He said as his tone deepened.
“No, I w….” And before I could finish my sentence he charged at me, but he knows already, he knew I was faster, I dodged it and then he stopped, adjusting his glasses and then positioning his fists, he wanted an actual fight not a poser scene.

“oh, look at you getting all riled up” I said to him
He threw me his first punch, though it was fast I was faster but I knew it carried serious momentum, I picked the weak spots and I use it to my advantage, that’s how I fight but for him he throws punches with great prowess, he throws punches to knock you out or hit you off balance, I threw punches to disable you for some minutes or worse.

“Whoom" His hand passed my face as I dogged But then he caught me lacking,He did a feint and I And then he targeted my ribs but I block with my arm, though I could block it, I know I felt the heaviness and now it was my turn to attack and after weaving his first punch and then his second I went straight for his belle.

“Wham" The first punch hit and he stumbles back, coughing and holding his belly, but then he stood back up And gave another feint But I knew, and I still went for it, I wanted my punch to cancel out his but at collision His punch overpowered mine but he had trouble throwing that hand first, so he had to use his left hand before using his right. punches from that hand ever since our hands collided was weaker and that is when he understood my name the streets Jaguar.

It was a great battle but I won and he was forced to tell me something he had never told anybody.

“I don’t actually live with my mom, in fact I don’t have a mom, I just have a dad and he hate me, my aunt takes care of me but even she sometimes houses some kind of resentment for me, sometimes I leave the house early because I cannot bear everything but then sometimes I leave the house early because she told me to, she always called me A bastard and a liability.” He said to me, smiling as I handed him his watch.

This was someone who has already accepted that he was nothing and whenever anything would happen to him and he feels like he should stand up for himself but he always remembers the words of his own, the words telling him that he is nothing so he sits down