MOTHER I SOBER

I was not asleep, I couldn’t sleep, I watched them take her body to the cold room and I read the letter my father sent to me, or should I say her.
This man detailed Ly stated my plan and agreement we had in the car and then told me the money will be coming to me in a party he would want me to attend next week, the way he composed this, I cannot accept any explanation, not for this, I know, he knew what he was doing, he knows what he did, he could have sent me the letter at home but he chose the hospital, DON LUCIANO, you killed my mother but its not your fault, all these misunderstanding lies with me, my stupidity and ignorance, I killed my mother along side him, if only I had been smart my mama will still be alive.

“Excuse me.” One of the nurses said to me as I sat down outside, bringing me out of thoughts.
“This is her phone.” She said as she dropped it at the side of me.
“Are you okay?” she asked but I said nothing to he and I guess she got the message and left shortly after I gave no response.
I was still in shock.
“3:00pm” I was still outside, looking at everyone and everything happen, everything was slow, time was slow, everything was abnormal and though I hadn’t slept enough I had already had a short nap so I wasn’t tired.
“Yo, lets go home, I have everything here with me don’t worry. Evander said standing at my side as I sat down, I said nothing and then I stood up, following him wherever he went like a person without hope.

“Day 2” I had barely had enough rest, I was in her room ever since we came, I can feel her here, she was close to me, I watched her favorite clothes on the hanger, I cried without even trying to, over and over again, I called put for her in an empty space, over and over again but there was no response, Evander was worried but he knew I needed my privacy but he still sat at the door incase I call him for something, incase I needed his help.

“Day 3” I was wide awake, still in her room, I was hearing her voice but I couldn’t see her, I chuckled in darkness when I heard her laugh, mama’s voice was so beautiful, stepped out of the room to get water and that was when I saw evander after 2 days.

“Are you…” He was about to say as he sat on the couch when I walked into the kitchen and then that is when things became a little bit hazy, I felt dizzy and then from nowhere my body failed me and then my vision went blank.

“He is awake right, yeah he is awake.” I heard as I opened my eyes and then I saw a nurse, the same nurse who handed my mothers belongings, like her phone and purse to me.
What was she doing here?
“Will he eat if I give him food?” The nurse said looking at the corner and when I raised my head it was Evander there, looking tired with eye bags and red eyes.
“He might. “He answered as he went out.

I was okay, so I tried to get up and then she rushed over from where she sat to get help me up.
She was uncomfortably jovial, I could already sense that she had hidden intentions and though I didn’t care now at least but I knew I might later, as long as she minds her business, I’m good.
“Krrrrrriiiiiiiiii” she sound of my moms screeching old door door being opened by Evander.
“Here you go.” He said as he handed the food to her to try and feed me but I wasn’t comfortable with it so I stretched my hands to her trying to collect the food from her and then she said.
“Oh.” In a kind of shock then a somewhat sad expression came after.
“Here you go then.” She said, handing the food over to me.
“Whats up bro, you are okay right?” He said as he looked at me with such desperate eyes for a response. I had been bad on my own path, he saw my mom and his too, the least I could do was make him know that I will be okay so I nodded back at him.

His face from a depressed old man brightened up a little as he slightly smiled and rested his eyes.

“Phew finally a response from you, you have been asleep for two days, you woke up yesterday and did not talk to anyone and then came to your mother’s room then shortly after you slept. You collapsed from exhaustion, I was told you were in a fight before the incident, so that’s probably why, your body felt serious amounts of fatigue so it saw no other way than to shutdown for a few days.” The nurse explained to me as I ate making seasonal eye contacts with me as she spoke.
She had a wide hairline but her black hair made it look good on her, brown eyes, she had fuller cheeks than normal, and she was cute but I was not interested.
So I indeed blacked out, I felt like I blinked and I had no memory of waking up to do anything, I guess I was half awake, that’s strange but I guess its fatigue.
After a few hours she decided to leave and then Evander also decided to sleep, he had been up since yesterday night and I woke up at noon, he must have been worried sick these past few days.
After they all left the room, I decided to go through my mothers’ things handed to me at the hospital and that’s when I came across her phone and though it was a little bit under 45, I still decided to charge it as I used it. Mama’s phone is always open, she really didn’t fancy passwords and she would always tell me the password in case she forgets because she rarely used her phone, she always gave it to me back in the day, because of my assignments and all.

I opened her phone and just from the home screen my heart started to ache again, the picture of her in her favorite gown was her wallpaper. I stared as memories of that day flooded my mind.
“Mama.” I whispered under my voice as I held back tears, I went to her gallery and I saw pictures, I looked for my phone to send pictures of her because I didn’t want to lose them and that Is when I came across a recent video and I clicked it.
“Mira a la camara aqui.” She said, telling the nurses to face the camera at where she pointed and that was the TV.
She was showing scores of her beating Evander in Mario racing deluxe, she looked happy as she said.
“”Y no me siento bien pero igual gane.” She was making gest of Evander saying she wasn’t feeling well and she still won. She made funny faces and that is when said.
“Nadie es rival para mi, ni siquiera mi sugar Sabastian.” She said not even her sugar Sabastian could beat her and that is when my dam broke, I wasn’t grieving yet but I was crying.
I watched the next video and there she was talking with the nurse and they were complementing her and saying her sons are quite the looker, especially me, I was literally just 16 but lets move on.
“Por que hiciste esto Sabastian? Ya sabes comporta tu padre.” She said, crying.
“Why did you do this Sabastian? You know how your father behaves. “When I immediately pause the video to check the date and that is when I saw, it was made on the same day she passed away, a few hours, before her attack.

It saddened me, the last video made of my mother was when she shed tears on my behalf.
“pero se que hiciste esto por mi pero cuidado tu papá es muy cursi ¿vale? Ten cuidado, solo sé que siempre te amaré, ¿vale?” she said as my heart broke.
“I love you too mama, I am sorry, I did all of……” I said as I cried, grieving with my hands shacking, I swear I did this to her and at the end she said she till loves me.
“Te extrano mama” I said as tears pooled my face, the plans, the everything, I shouldn’t have met him in the first place, he did this, he made my mama cry, he destroyed everything like my mother said.
“DON LUCIANO!!!!!” I shouted at the top of my voice.
Te amo, esta bien…..”AHHHHHHHH, DON LUCIANO” I shouted as my mothers last words flooded my head.
“I swear, I will kill you for this, I alone will hunt you, I will not rest till yo die, I will take everything like you took from me and I will watch you did.” I said as malice and hate fille my eyes.
Mother I sober but for father I will make sure he watches me kill him as his pride withers.