Resting and healing

I woke up in despair the morning after my encounter with Sebastian. My body ached from the welts and bruises, but the emotional pain was far worse. The shame and humiliation were overwhelming. I stayed in bed, staring at the ceiling, unable to muster the energy to start the day.

Sofia noticed the difference immediately. She hovered nearby, wanting to approach me but deciding against it. She understood that I needed space. I was grateful for her silent support, even if I couldn’t bring myself to acknowledge it.

Nancy entered the room later that morning, her usual stern expression in place. "Ariella, are you going to stay in bed all day?" she asked.

I didn’t respond. I couldn’t. The weight of my emotions was too heavy. I felt broken, shattered by what had happened the night before. Nancy’s presence only intensified my feelings of worthlessness.

Nancy’s patience wore thin. "You need to get up and do something. Sitting here is a disgrace."

Her words stung, bringing back the events of the previous night with brutal clarity. I felt like trash, a disgrace. Anger flared within me, but I didn’t want to show it.Nbut she just kept on talking, she began to reticle me , saying.
“Miss special is not feeling special today huh lol.” She said.

Her words cut deep, but they also sparked a fire within me. I stood up, trembling with anger and hurt. "Sometimes you talk without reasoning," I shot back. "You act like you’re above us, but you’re treated like trash too. Do you think we don’t notice?"

Nancy’s eyes widened in surprise, then narrowed in anger. "How dare you!" she shouted.

I didn’t wait for her to continue. I turned and left the room, my heart pounding. As I walked through the compound, I didn’t look back. I needed to be alone, to find a way to deal with my emotions.

As I neared the edge of the compound, I ran into El Rado. He greeted me with a smug grin. "Little bird, what’s got you so riled up?"

I forced a smile. "Nothing, El Rado. I’m just running an errand for Nancy."

El Rado’s grin widened. "Don’t worry about Nancy. I can handle her."

I shook my head. "Sebastian told her to send me. I don’t want any trouble."

El Rado clicked his tongue. "Fine, do what you need to do." As I turned to leave, he slapped me on the ass, making me flinch. I kept walking, refusing to give him the satisfaction of seeing my reaction. Under my breath, I muttered, "Idiot."

I wandered the compound, my mind racing. I wanted to be alone, but I also needed to find a way to occupy my thoughts. As I walked, I spotted Behemoth training outside. It was the first time I had seen him up close. He was lifting heavy tires, his muscles bulging with effort. I was curious about him, so I approached.

"Hello," I said, trying to sound casual.

Behemoth glanced at me briefly before returning to his training. "Hello."

Undeterred, I continued. "I’ve seen you around, but we’ve never talked. I’m Ariella."

"Behemoth," he replied, still focused on his training.

"What do you think about all this?" I asked, gesturing to the compound.

He shrugged. "It doesn’t matter what I think. I’m here to serve."

"But don’t you have your own thoughts and feelings?" I pressed. "Your own personality?"

He paused, looking at me for the first time. "Even if I do, it’s not something I share."

I nodded, understanding his reluctance. "Raven mentioned you," I said. "She said you’re a friendly person."

That caught his attention. "Raven talked to you?" he asked, surprised.

"Yes," I replied. "Why?"

"Raven doesn’t talk to other women here," he explained. "She hates Nancy and the sex workers. But you, you’re different."

I felt a strange sense of pride, but I tried to downplay it. "Maybe it’s just because I’m new."

Behemoth shook his head. "No, it’s more than that. Raven sees something in you."

"Well, I’m glad she does," I said softly. "Tell me about yourself, Behemoth. What do you like to do?"

He hesitated before answering. "I like to bake. I have a sweet tooth."

I smiled, surprised. "Really? What kind of pastries do you like?"

He looked more relaxed as he answered. "Cakes, mostly. Chocolate, vanilla, red velvet. I love them all."

"I love cakes too," I said, excitedly. "My mother taught me how to bake. If I have time, I’d love to bake something for you."

Behemoth smiled, a genuine smile. "That would be nice."

As we talked, I felt a connection forming. It was comforting to know that even in this harsh environment, there were still moments of kindness and understanding.

But as I mentioned my mother, a wave of sadness washed over me. I realized how long it had been since I thought about my family. I had a brother, a family who loved me, but I had treated them poorly.

Behemoth noticed my change in mood. "You’re thinking about your family," he said gently.

"Yes," I admitted. "But they’re in the past. I have to focus on the present."

He nodded, respecting my need to change the subject. "So, who’s your favorite girl here?"

I laughed softly. "I don’t have a favorite. But I’ve noticed you don’t interact much with the others."

"I don’t deal with the sex workers," he said firmly. "They get this pride after being with someone from the crew, especially if it’s Sebastian. It’s not for me."

"But you have someone?" I asked, curious.

"Yes," he replied. "She used to be here, but I took her away. This place was becoming toxic."

"How did that happen?" I asked, intrigued.

"It was about two years ago," Behemoth began. "This place was falling apart. We lost three members, The first was Raul but Sabastian was okay with that, he was still okay, it made him want to do the right things. One died, another sacrificed himself, and the third betrayed us. It changed Sebastian. He became colder, more distant."
I began to feel somewhat of pity towards him again, I was hurt but now it feels like I want him to be okay, I want to see him I began to think to myself, maybe he is good, maybe he is can actually change but then the memories of yesterday flooded back, I began to beat my own hope down, I didn’t want to begin to believe he would change and then get hurt, I didn’t want to hurt him or myself. Sigh but I still asked in my hopelessness.

"Do you think he can change back?" I asked, hopeful.

Behemoth sighed. "Sometimes, I like to hope. In a world this cold, hope is like warmth, even if it’s just for a second."

His words stayed with me as I said goodbye and headed back to my room. Behemoth was a good person, but he had his own burdens. I admired his strength and resilience.

As I entered the room, I found Nancy sitting on my bed. She stood up and walked towards me, her expression furious. Without warning, she slapped me hard across the face. The sting brought tears to my eyes, but I refused to cry.

"You think you’re special?" she spat. "You’ve only been here three months, and you’re already growing wings."

I took a deep breath, fighting back the tears. "You feel good now? You think this makes you powerful?"

Nancy glared at me. "Watch your mouth."

“oh I am watching them, I am watching them carefully boss, you are no different from us but I guess” I smiled sarcastically. "I’m still under your command, Madam. That’s an achievement, isn’t it?"
“lol.” I said walking to my bed.

Nancy fumed, her fists clenched. "We’ll see about that," she said coldly before storming out of the room.

I lay down on my bed, feeling the weight of the day’s events. I had stood up for myself, but it had come at a cost. Still, I felt a small sense of pride. I was starting to find my strength, starting to reclaim my sense of self.

As I drifted off to sleep, Behemoth’s words echoed in my mind. In a world this cold, hope is like warmth. It was a small comfort, but it was enough for now.