Crashing before my eyes part 2

From running I began to walk and from walking i slowly came to a halt.
“Evander” I called again in a more subtle tone.
“I am sorry bro.” He said to me not being able to look me in the face.
I was breathing, but it felt like I wasn’t, everything stopped, my heart beat I couldn’t hear and the pain I felt from the fight, the exhaustion I felt from the running, I felt nothing, I was bland in anxiety.
“Wh…What happened?” I asked stammering my first words.
“Mama is gone bro, she is… she…I am so sorry bro.” He said as tears fell from his eyes and his hands shook without control….
“Ho….w…we had the…it was complete, I just needed to get here…ho….” I said as the confirmation birthed a crippling shock in me.
I wasn’t ready for it, I swear I wasn’t ready for it, Everything was in motion, I was….. I…..
“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!” I let out a loud shout that shook the ward, a shout that caught the attention of everyone n the passage.
“How…How… why? I was so close, I swear, I was close to everything, my plan was perfect, I was already at my peak and I was winning I was… I…” I said as tears fell from my eyes without control, I was in shock, I didn’t notice my own tears, I was discombobulated.
“She received a letter.” Evander said, sniveling as he looked down.
“….” I gave no response but my eyes opened and I looked at him.
“it was from your father, its in her room.” He said.
How did he know I was here, how did he get to find out that I was in the hospital with my mom?
Who told him?
“I was angry when I saw it, it felt like you, you did this but then I know you wouldn’t do such a thing.” He said to me as my brain remembered.
I told him that mama was sick but I didn’t tell him that she was in the hospital, I know I didn’t, I was sure.
El rado.
It, maybe he knew, maybe he told Dad, maybe.
“I told him she was sick, but I never told him I was in the hospital, I never told him I was here, I just said she want feeling well and I said she needed a 100k” I said to him.
“Yeah, I know you wouldn’t tell him directly but do you think he figured it out?” He said to me.
“I don’t…” I was about to say when I heard.
“I am so sorry for your loss.”
Then I looked up, it was the doctor.
“She was doing good but she was weak this morning, I checked that, but then I noticed after the time of noon, that’s 12 pm she was looking pale and she was just quiet. This was a sign that her blood pressure has gone low and I then treated it as an emergency, by that time, your brother was out to get food.” She said, continuing the explanation.
“we tried all we can and she was finally responding but then by 4pm, I was called by a nurse, saying her blood pressure is low again and her heart is skipping beats, multiple beats to be exact, by that time, your brother was waiting outside and then we had to do another emergency here but she didn’t respond for an hour plus, that was when we knew that there was noting to be done.” She said, explaining how it all unfolded.
“She called out a name in the midst of everything. She called SABASTIAN.”
“……” I inhaled as the grief and guilt hit me, my heart sky rocketed in beats and my chest tightened, then I breathed out and that was I forgot how to breathe.
I was unable to look up and I found it hard to breath, I fell to my side as I gasped for air and Evander and the doctor held me.
“Breathe” she said as she hit my chest continuously until I subconsciously inhaled and then started breathing again.
“Are you alright?” she asked me as she let go of my hand as I laid on the floor like a disabled person.
“I guess we would come in later to come get the body and your signature.” She said as she let us be.

After some time in my void, I couldn’t sleep, Evander cried himself to rest but I was awake, though the fear of seeing my own mothers dead body crippled me, I stood up and entered inside and there I saw my mother, she was lifeless.
*She called SABASTIAN.* I remembered as my leg failed and I fell on the floor, I crawled and crawled till I got to her, my tears I thought were unable to come out were forced out.
“This can’t be true, no,no,no.” I said as my tears flooded the room.
“Maybe if I held her hands, maybe if I held her hands she would come back. Yeah…” I said trying to deceive myself, the pain was too much I couldn’t bear it all.
My pain grew as I crept closer and closer until I held her hands.

They were so cold, this wasn’t my mother, this was a cadaver and my mother was gone, the realization struck me and I was void of all feelings in totality, In my tears I held her cold body and I slowly fell asleep while holding her.

“Excuse me sir.” The next thing I heard, followed by repeated taps on my shoulder.
I opened my eyes and saw nurses, 3 to be exact.
“We need you to come with us for the paper work.” She said.
“You are taking my mother away right?” I said, going straight to the point as I emptily stared into her eyes.
She let out a sigh and then she said
“Yes but we need your signature as her family member first.”
I stood up and as I was about to leave the room I took a last look at my mother’s face and something in me broke, something I probably really needed.