Chapter 21

Unedited...

Sabrina opens her eyes to see sunlight pouring into the slightly open curtains. Today she woke to know exactly what happened before she went to bed. She knew Nathan was behind her. She felt his breath blowing against his neck and his muscular arm around her waist. His hand moved suddenly rubbing horizontally on her stomach.

He gently pushed her to lay flat on her back and looms over her. Her eyes studied him patiently waiting for his next move. He leans down and sticks his head in the crook of her neck and glides his nose against her throat inhaling deeply. "Hmm." He moans. "You always smell so good in the morning."He whispers before kissing her gently and getting up from the bed.

She closes her eyes and lets her mind drift back to the passionate night they shared. It was extraordinary how he could make her feel like the most wanted woman in the world. How he could be so passionate and caring towards her. How he could take her out of this universe and put her in another so easily, a world she wanted to stay in forever.

"Where's the bathroom?" Nathan brings her back to reality. He had dressed in the back suit he wore the day before and was staring at her.

She gets up with the blanket wrapped around her. "I'll show you." She pulls out a pair of sweats and a fitted army t-shirt. Once she is dressed she leads him out the room door and down the hallway. "Do you need a towel?"

He shakes his head and sticks his hands on his pockets. He doesn't move to go into the bathroom. He surveys her with a slight smile. Like there was some joke she was unaware of.

She squints her eyes. "What?"

He gives her a slow look over. "You're gorgeous."

A blush creeps up her cheeks. She turns around quickly before running downstairs to the half bathroom.

There it was as clear as day, proof of her reddened face in the mirror. She looks away quickly and pulls out one of the toothbrushes that they kept for guests. She loads it with toothpaste and sticks it in her mouth. It was the hardest she's ever brushed her teeth. She hated the fact that she could let him get to her that easy. She dared to look at her self again hoping that she was at least pink.

"Crap!" She screams. Not one, but two hickeys were on her neck.

"Damn it!" The last thing she needed was her mother and sister knowing she had sex last night. Could that be any more disrespectful? She was weak.

She purposely let herself be hypnotized, Nathan. She wanted him and decided to let herself have him. She needed not to think about the reality of her life, and when Nathan is around her, he's all she could think about. He distracted her from all of her worries and problems. Even the one between them. Like the fact that he wants her physical and that's not enough for her.

Did she regret it? Yes. But it's too late to change it. She told Nathan he wasn't needed here, but he came anyway. Then, she practically begged him to have sex with her. She was so ashamed of herself.

After brushing her teeth and removing the stains of overnight makeup from her face. She covers the spots of her necks with her hands hoping she wouldn't pass anyone on her way back upstairs.

Nathan was sitting on the bed when she enters the room. She didn't look at him. Anger stirring in her. She scans the room in search of her suitcase and finds it. She rummages through the bag and finds her make up bag."

"Sabrina," H calls for her attention.

"Hmm." She was busy reading the difference between three different brands of concealer in her hand. Suddenly she feels his hand on her lower back. She stills and bites her lips. At this point, she was just pathetic. The slightest touch from him had her weak in the knees even in her anger.

She pushes his hand gently. "I need a shower." Then breezes past him before she lets him take her again.

After her shower, the first thing she wanted to do was ask Nathan when he would be leaving. Instead of upstairs in her room where he was supposed to be, he was downstairs sitting at the kitchen table drinking a cup of coffee with her sister.

"Whoa! You might want to cover that up." Gracie points her neck. As soon as she noticed watching him.

"Crap." She squeezes her eyes shut.

"Here." Gracie grabs her a black makeup bag from the counter and hands it to her. "There's a mirror in there too." She adds while going back to her coffee.

Sabrina was embarrassed. She didn't know what to say, and Nathan's lack of care in the matter was irritating her. She glares at him and opens her mouth but stopped from uttering her next words by the doorbell ringing.

"Excuse me." Nathan gets up from the table. "My clothes are here." He approaches Sabrina kisses her on her forehead. "I will be right back."

Once she gets her balance back she moves near her sister. Gracie folded her arms and furrows her eyebrows. "Why do you always put him first?"

Sabrina was shocked. "I. I..." She had no idea what to say. "I don't."


"Yes, You do." Gracie disagrees as her eyes fill with water. "You've been doing it. Mom cries for you, and dad was always talking about you. He was so sick, and you didn't even want to come home and see him." Gracie starts to weep. "Why Sabrina? Why?"

"I'm sorry. I was selfish I just couldn't handle seeing daddy like that."

"You're selfish. You only thought of your husband. You said you'd come when he would come but, he was always busy to make time for your dying father."

Gracie never got angry. She always smiled and was friendly. She never yelled or even fought with her sister.

Just for a millisecond, Sabrina thought maybe she should come clean and tell Gracie everything. But what good would that do her sister? Wouldn't that be selfish? Telling her would only make her worry. And wouldn't that just be her trying to excuse her actions? There was absolutely no excuse for what she has been doing. She really hated her self at the moment.

She wipes her sister's tears and pulls her into a hug. "I'm sorry Gracie. I will be here from now on. I promise."

They hold each other for a long moment before pulling apart.

"Nathan loves you," She announces while wiping the last of her tears. She smiles. "I'm glad you have each other."

Sabrina as caught off guard by her statement. She held her breath and counted to ten before she sounded like a teenager. "Did he tell you that?"

She shakes her head sideways. "No, but I could see it in his eyes when he watches you. I could hear it in his voice when he was talking to me about you."

"What did he say?" She only managed to count to five this time.

"I asked him what your life was like? He told me about the animal shelter. He also told me that his nieces and nephews love you." Gracie takes a sip of her coffee. "He asked me about you. I found it kinda funny. Couldn't he ask you?"

She purposely ignores the question. "What did he ask?"

"He just asked me to tell him about you. Like you two just had your first date or something."

"Maybe he meant before we met."

"Maybe."

The sound of Nathan clearing his throat came from behind. Sabrina turned to see him dressed differently. He had taken a shower already. The proof in his damp hair and he dressed in a grey suit. She hardly ever saw him in anything other a suit. Not that she didn't like it.

She gets up from the table and takes his hand.

"I'll be right back." She looks back at her sister.

She leads him back upstairs in the privacy of her old bedroom. As she closes the door, Nathan pins her with his body.

She pushes his chest. "Nathan please."

He didn't remove his hands from around her waist. "What's wrong?" He whispers.

"When are you leaving?"

His eyebrows drew together. "Tonight." He moves his right hand from her waist and runs a hand through his hair showing his frustration with her. "When are you coming back home?"

She maneuvers her self around him, then turns around. "Does it matter?"

With a few quick strides, he grabs her wrist. "Sabrina don't test the patience that I have for you."

She struggles to tug her wrist out of his hold. "Let go."

"Why is it that the moment my hand leaves your body you push me away?"

"Look what happens to me when you touch me." She didn't know where she was going with this. "Look at my neck." She raises her head showing him his work.
"You keep doing this, and you are inconsiderate of how embarrassed I feel when everyone knows what we're just doing."

Nathan pulls her closer and grabs her other arm. "I can't promise to do it again."

He angles her jaw so she would have to look at him. "I can promise to make sure you know to cover it up."

"There won't be another time." She states angrily. She was more upset at how her life turned out. Her father's passing, and the guilt of making her sister feel like she didn't care.

Nathan's jaws starts to tick. "Sabrina stop being stubborn. You're my wife, and I'm your husband and if last night wasn't and indication, you're mine. I understand you are upset and grieving. I will leave you to be with your family but, I have every right to know when you will be going back home."

He was right, he did. She just didn't want it to be like that with them. She'll start to want to know where he is, and what he's doing. She'll start to feel like she had rights to him. She would fall in love with him. She scrutinizes Nathan for a moment. She already is in love with him. Crap! She knew herself and she wouldn't have slept with him if she didn't.

"Say something," He demands.

She blinks up with an awareness of her feelings choking her... She wanted to scream at herself. You stupid idiot! Look what you did. You fell for your playboy husband.
He has no choice but to deal with you. You have Nathan's attention because you could take half his company. She didn't want it. She had to make him see that. Her father is dead now. She fulfilled his last wish. Now he has to watch the suffering she's living from the other side. No more. "I want a divorce."

His grip tightens and his brows snap together. "What?" He lost his breath for a second.

"I am serious, and I don't want anything in the divorce settlement."

His teeth grind together. He was seething. He lets go of her hands. "How can I be sure of that? I still don't know what your father has on mine."

She takes a few steps back. "I do."

His lips turn into a thin line. "So you're finally going, to tell the truth now?"

"What I'm trying to say is. It doesn't matter anymore. My father is dead. I want no part of his blackmail, no matter what the past is."

"Whatever your father, has on my father, is still out there. Now, tell me how the fuck can I trust you? How can I trust you not to take half of what I've built? Answer me that Sabrina."

"Because I don't want anything from you.

He reaches out and grabs her arm hauling her against him. He puts his mouth by her ear. "There will be no divorce. You hear me, Sabrina. None. Your father's death may change things for you, but it changes nothing for me."
He was livid, and it showed with every word he spoke. "Now answer me, when you will be leaving to go home?"

He just crushed dreams she kept hidden. She wanted out of her marriage. She wanted to attempt to have some life she envisions before she married him, and she wanted the same for him. Her father's death opens the door for the plans she kept hidden from even herself. She couldn't let herself even dream of them before he died. It would have meant she would have had to envision a future without him. Now that he's gone she could see her future. She didn't know where that precious piece of paper that held the key to her freedom was.

What if she divorces him and it comes to light? Nathan would lose any credibility in his business. Nathan didn't betray her father Desmond did. She wouldn't let Nathan suffer for his father's crimes.

"Sabrina." He persists impatiently for her answer.

"I'm not sure, I'll let you know." She was done fighting. This was her life.

Nathan slackens his grip but doesn't let her go. He stares at her unsurely until his cell phone vibrates.


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