Chapter 110
Pleasure. Heat. A red tinted world of too many images and feelings, too much for her to process.
And then, what might have been an eternity later, it was over, and Jorick lay next to her on the bed, panting. Her eyelids fluttered open and she swallowed, suddenly thirsty. She turned her head to find Jorick gazing at her, a mixture of emotions on his face.
"What?"
He shook his head. "Nothing. Just-. Nothing." Before she could press him, he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. "Wasn't that better than talking?"
She nodded and thought of last night, though she floated on too many endorphins to add the sarcasm she wanted. "Or brooding?"
"Brooding?" But he suddenly understood the meaning from her thoughts. "Last night? I wasn't brooding. I was debating."
"About what?"
"About whether or not to give you what you wanted and take you with me to the battle. Whether it was worth putting you in danger for something you think you want. But-" he added, before she could interrupt him. "I decided that you were right. Maybe I am- unrelenting sometimes. I don't mean to be. I just- I don't know what I'd do if something- happened." His voice got thick, and then disappeared altogether.
"But it won't, not if you're there." Despite the brave words, she wasn't so sure they'd really live through it.
The lumpy scar above her collar bone hurt, just a little, and she rubbed at it absently. She didn't like to think about what made it hurt. The word bite was one that brought back memories of Claudius and the basement of his emergency den. It came tinted with pain and fear and agony.
Jorick interrupted her thoughts and nuzzled the side of her face. "A vampire's bite is so much more than that. Just like a human's mouth can do more than eat. Yes, we use it to feed but, when a vampire bites another living thing, there's a connection, and it's up to the vampire what kind of connection that is. It can be hateful and horrible, or it can be something pleasurable and beautiful."
She nodded mutely, well aware that Jorick created those intensely overwhelming sensations by drinking her blood. It was something she preferred not to think about. Despite that, she suddenly wondered how she tasted.
"Do you want to know?"
She grimaced at the invasion. "Would you please stop that?"
"I'm sorry. Your thoughts are louder when you're excited. Sometimes, I'm not sure if you're thinking or speaking. You know, this is an inconvenience for me too."
"Really? How's that?"
He gave a soft chuckle. "I happen to like silence, and I haven't had a moment of it. You're always thinking, always chattering away inside, restlessly switching from one subject to another until I can't even follow you. And putting distance between us does no good. Though," he added soberly. "I admit I haven't strayed very far from you, except to follow Senya. But, even then I could hear you, chattering away."
"Do you think I enjoy all your tingling annoyance? Do you have any other emotion?"
"I'm fairly amused at the moment," he pointed out, a toothy grin on his face.
"Well, I'm so sorry you're forced to sacrifice your peace and quiet. Maybe we can go through that list again of all the considerations you're forced to take for me?"
"If you really think it's necessary," he said mildly. "Would you like it alphabetized? Or how about in reverse alphabetization? I could start with sex-"
She sat up suddenly, offended. "Hey! What do you mean about sex? You seemed to be enjoying it just a minute ago!"
"I didn't say it wasn't enjoyable," he explained gently. "But, I'm afraid I don't derive as much satisfaction as you do from the physical aspects of it. For a vampire, it's all about the blood."
Her cheeks flamed pink, torn between insult and embarrassment. "So you're saying you'd be just as happy sucking my neck in the back of a bus as having sex?"
"Oh," he said slowly. "I suppose not. You'd probably feel unfulfilled. Of course, I'm all for testing it." He smiled teasingly.
She found the whole idea startling. "You're serious? You mean you don't- you know- uh, finish-." she trailed off.
"No," he replied mildly. "There's nothing there."
"But you- it-" she stammered and turned red. "I mean it works."
He seemed to enjoy her discomfort. "Of course it does. That's all blood, after all, and that I have. I'm not saying it isn't pleasurable, of course, but I'm afraid the sensation pales in comparison, in case you haven't noticed." He raised his eyebrows meaningfully.
"I suppose." She let him tug her back to lie next to him, and snuggled up against his chest. "What about girls?"
"What about them?"
"Well, I mean, there's- you know." She felt infinitely childish. "There's a lot of moisture..."
He threw back his head and laughed heartily. Katelina growled at him, and he managed to rein his hilarity down to snickers. "I hear you can buy it in a tube now."
"You're disgusting! Do you know that?"
"You asked," he reminded her mischievously.
She grumbled under her breath, but then asked, "So vampire couples don't- ever? I mean they just slurp on each other?"
"Slurp?" Jorick cried, offended. "Now who's disgusting?"
She rolled her eyes. "Sorry, do you have a better word for it?"
"Yes, I do, actually," he retorted. "'Sharing blood' is much nicer, or even 'exchanging blood'. Of course there's always 'coupling' or the far more picturesque 'making love', which I happen to prefer." He sniffed. "Slurp, indeed!"
"Fine, they just 'share blood'?"
"How would I know? I'm not in the habit of asking everyone what they do in their intimate lives. Really! You humans have gotten nosey."
"It's a perfectly legitimate question."
He started to object, but then conceded. "I suppose. Honestly, I don't know what everyone does. One can assume that the newer vampires would prefer a more human method, simply because it's what they're used to. I've heard of it being mixed and matched in various ways, though I have to admit some of the methods didn't interest me."
She wasn't sure what to say, but curiosity overcame her uncomfortable feelings quickly. "Like what?"
"You're very determined on this subject, aren't you?" he teased. "Who knew you found the mating habits of the supernatural so intriguing. Perhaps we should find out if werewolves exist and see what they like to do in the bedroom? It could be a whole new field of study."
"Very funny." A moment later she asked, "Do they?"
"Do they what? For heaven's sake. I don't know whether werewolves have sex or not."
"No! Do they exist?"
"Oh." He grinned sheepishly. "I have no idea. I've never gone looking for any."
She tilted her head thoughtfully. "What about Mummies?"
"Yes," he said slowly. "Mummies are real. They used to make them in ancient Egypt, if I recall."
She made a noise of disapproval in her throat. "You know what I meant. I mean the ones that run around in tombs, like on TV."
"You watch too much of that. Only if they're vampires do they 'run around'. Otherwise, they're quite dead."
"Zombies?" she fired off before he could stop her.
"I've never seen one."
"Cat people? Aliens? Witches? Sorcerers? Yeti? Shape shifters? Mermaids? Bat Boy-"
He interrupted her flow of questions. "Good Lord, I don't know. What do I look like? An encyclopedia of the supernatural?"
"I thought you knew everything," she taunted with a silly grin.
"Everything important," he shot back. "For the love of all things holy, aren't Vampires enough for you? Why do you want to go looking for more monsters?"
She shrugged her shoulders. "I didn't say I wanted to find them, I just thought you might know." A final thought occurred and she added, "What about ghosts?"
"Ah," Jorick said softly, and his whole demeanor changed. "Now those are very real. Everyone has their own personal ghosts that haunt them."
She looked away, suddenly uncomfortable in a completely different way. The vision of a blonde man swam through her mind, his eyeliner smudged and his breath tingling with alcohol. "Yeah, I guess they do," she agreed.
Jorick absently rubbed her back. "But they don't have to rule your life," he said quietly. "You don't have to wallow in the misery left behind. The legacy of ghosts is nothing but sorrow and suffering."
"Are you sure? If it weren't for ghosts would I be here?"
She could feel his surprise. "I don't know," he agreed slowly. "I know only that I let them control me for far too long, carrying a burden I should have abandoned." He gazed past Katelina into a space that only existed for him. She cleared her throat and he snapped out of it to focus on her again. "Or maybe not. Who can say? Perhaps I did exactly as destiny wanted me to."
She traced lazy circles on his chest. "You believe in destiny?"
"Perhaps," he acknowledged. "Who can say what strange thing controls our fate?"
"I think we make our own destiny."
He made a thoughtful noise. "And what of your God. Doesn't He intervene?"
"First the supernatural and now religion?" she teased, then turned serious. "Yes, I think He does, but I think He lets us make our own choices too, and if we end up in a place He didn't want us, we can either ask for His help or we can just stay stuck. If you don't accomplish the task He gave you, He can always give it to someone else. Just because you love someone doesn't mean you need them."
"How do you know?" he asked quietly. "Isn't loving them reason enough to need them?"
"Not always." Her throat caught as she looked into his eyes, not sure whose emotions she felt anymore.
He wrapped his arm around her and laid his head against her shoulder. Then, he kissed her ear and murmured softly, "I hope you're wrong."
