Chapter 640
She couldn't focus as Torina led her to another room and deposited her in a chair. It was only when the door shut that the fog lifted. She was in a study, with book cases, chairs, and a desk with a computer.
Jorick had enchanted her.
"That asshole!" Katelina leapt to her feet.
Torina leaned on the door. "Do us both a favor and don't."
"But they"
"I don't like it any more than you do, but it's not our choice."
"It shouldn't be his. She's not his daughter. She's Annabelle's."
"If you think Annabelle doesn't know what will happen, you're wrong. That's why he came alone. We send men to do the things we'd rather not do ourselves, and expect them to hold up under strain we refuse to carry."
"They're killing her, Torina. I realize you never met her, and that you don't even like kids"
Torina closed the distance between them. She shook Katelina by the shoulders. "Don't you tell me what I like. Jorick says to be patient with you because you're worried for your mother, like you're the only one who's ever lost anyone. I watched my nephews burn to death. You might have forgotten that, but I haven't." She stepped away. "I hated Jesslynn, but I didn't hate her children."
Katelina rubbed her shoulder. "I didn't say you did."
"Didn't you? 'You don't even like kids'. Or have you forgotten your own words?"
"I'm sorry. But you're letting them kill her!"
"What am I supposed to do?" Torina shouted back. "She's not my daughter. I don't get to have one! I don't get to have a son. I don't get to be a mother. That all died the night Oren came back from Jorick's with a thirst for blood."
She spun away, her shoulders heaving with fury. "I didn't ask for this! I didn't beg like Jesslynn did. I didn't want some dark gift to save me. I wanted a husband, a house, children. I wanted all the things a lady was supposed to have, and I was beautiful enough to get it. But I didn't. I got cold moonlight and colder arms."
Katelina took an uncertain step back. "Then why did he turn you?"
"Because he attacked me. He came back, fresh and young, a fledgling of two weeks who hadn't fed that night. First he killed my beau, then he went for me. He was a monster! And he made me one. Then he turned Jesslynnand she did that to the children. They were only children! They had lives ahead of them. But no, she turned them because they'd lost so many. Do you know why they lost them? Because she was always pregnant. There was barely space between one birth and the next pregnancy. Alexander was healthy because the doctors advised them to abstain for a year before his conception, because Jesslynn was distraught. Do you think they made the connection? No. She blamed it on some mysterious malady, some familial weakness that needed the devil's kiss to cure."
Katelina didn't know what to say. She'd heard Oren and Jesslynn had lost several children, she'd seen their graves, but she'd never bothered to figure it out. And that Oren attacked Torina- Jorick had made the comment more than once that Oren should have left his sister human. Katelina always assumed Torina asked for it, that she wanted it. She was the type who would.
Wasn't she?
"It doesn't matter," Torina said. "Nothing can change what is."
A soft knock came on the door. It opened a moment later and Zander stepped through. "Brandle suggested I speak with you."
"About what?" Torina eyed him up and down.
"He felt you might need comforting."
"I'm sure we're fine." Torina flipped her hair over her shoulder.
"You are upset." Zander nodded to Katelina. "But death is not the end."
"It looks like an end to me," Torina said.
Zander shook his head. "It is only the beginning of the next journey. The Goddess"
Torina motioned it away. Normally, Katelina would have agreed with her, but not right now. Right now Zander was trying to help. The least they could do was shut up and be polite.
He went on, "The Goddess says in her scriptures that death is merely the act of moving from our world to hers, a world of eternal night."
"And if this Goddess lives in this other world, how did she give you these scriptures?" Torina asked sarcastically.
Zander fixed her with an impassive stare. "Batna can cross between the worlds at will."
Katelina forced a smile. "Thank you, Zander. I appreciate you taking the time."
"Of course." He bobbed his head. "I also wanted to offer my commiserations regarding your friend."
Katelina caught her breath. Did he mean Sarah?
"Had I realized, I could have spared you much uncertainty. From the description Brandle gave me, we saw her leading the attack at home."
Katelina thought of Estrilda's memory. Lilith told Sarah she could lead the attack. Baltheir had said, "Looked like they were led by a woman. Real pretty thing. She gave orders and the rest attacked." At the time she'd assumed he meant Lilith, but Sarah made more sense. If it was Lilith, surely he'd have commented on how old she felt?
"Yeah," she said finally.
"If you seek guidance in these hard times, I would be happy to share more of the scriptures with you."
"To recruit us?" Torina muttered.
Katelina shushed her and thanked him again. Assured they were feeling better, he took his leave. When he was gone, Torina laughed. "You don't believe his nonsense?"
"No. But I see what Brandle meantit's as real to him as any religion is to its follower. What right do we have to ridicule it? Especially when he only shared it to comfort us?"
"Whatever. Enjoy your bleeding heart, embrace the universe crap. I'm going to find out if we're having a funeral, or if he's taking her home."
Torina left. Katelina sagged into the nearest chair. She didn't know if she could face the dead child, or another funeral. Des' was bad enough, but a child's-Immortal or not, hundreds of years old or not, that's what Estrilda was. A child who wanted to be a pretty fairy.
Her mother's memory popped into her head, a Halloween long ago when she was dressed as a pirate princess and Sarah wore construction paper wings.
"I am a fairy!"
Alone, Katelina cried for both of them.
