Chapter 673
A moment passed, then Sarah gave a cry of frustration and threw it aside with a dry clatter. She broke into heaving sobs that shook her body, sending blood gurgling up from her wounds. "Goddammit! I can't do it myself. I can't-but I can't live like this. Please Kate, please make it end. I can't take any more nightmares. When I close my eyes I see themall of them. Those girls he gave us in the cage, whose bodies rotted for weeks. Kurt, Denise, and the others, starved, biting their own arms, thenthen after I killed them. They lay there in the hay, their blood pooling in the dirt and their skin-their insides-the smell. God, I can still smell it. All the time, like it's stuck in my nose. The hay and the blood and the dirt and the anger. Please make it end."
She burst into sobs, breaking only to choke out a mouthful of blood. Katelina met her eyes and stumbled under her misery. Black despair was like tar that pulled her down into herself, leaving only horror and darkness. Alone. So alone. Alone and dirty, covered in blood and the filth of death. Nothing would ever make her clean again, never make her whole, never turn her back into herself. There was no salvation, only years and years of aching, echoing, screaming darkness, a thousand nightmare phantoms with bleeding eyes and gaping chests, gory remnants of everything she'd done. Among the unfamiliar faces was one she knew; her mother. Short, with large eyes and shoulders stooped under years of worry. Her face had aged so many years in such a short time that she almost didn't recognize her, even as she dropped to her knees, those large eyes full of terror.
"Sarah! Oh my God, what-Please-Sarah!"
The vision changed. She didn't plead, didn't cry, but lay smeared across the floor, her blood splattered up the wall. Katelina saw her own hands, covered in blood and clotted gore, bits of flesh and muscle, and hair. Long dark hair stuck in the goo. Always the hair. So much hair-
A scream tore through her, followed by a sucking agony that brought her to her knees. The pain was so intense it drove her back to the basement, and to herself. Katelina sagged back on her haunches, panting. The echoes of agony reverberated inside her. She looked up to Sarah, to the tears running down her face, the blood running down her leg in a rivulet.
"It's always like that," Sarah whispered desperately. "Always. Please, Kate. Please, make it stop."
Katelina stood and blinked away tears. Jorick's words came back to her:
"I know that you love her, but a part of love is knowing when to let go."
She grabbed one of the broken chair legs and held it like a dagger. "Sarah-"
Her friend closed her eyes and tensed, waiting.
Katelina struggled against a sob. Tears made her vision blurry, but that was better. It made it easier, less real. Less horrible. Even as she set the jagged end over Sarah's heart.
Katelina raised the broken wood. She tried to think of a scenario, something to pretend, some way to distance herself from it all. Her mind was blank, except for the shreds of that screaming misery, the memory of nightmare visions, of guilt so thick she couldn't breathe, and that horrible sucking blackness.
"I'm sorry, Kate," Sarah whispered. "For everything."
Katelina took a deep breath. "So am I."
Then she struck.
The makeshift stake went through with a crunch that made Sarah bend double. Katelina ripped it out again. Blood gushed. Sarah dropped back over the chairs, her body limp and her face smooth. Peaceful.
Katelina brushed Sarah's hair back from her dirty, tear stained face. Something silver glinted above her collar. Katelina tugged what turned into a chain. Dangling at the end of it was a tiny blue charm and half of a shattered heart, worn almost smooth with time; the other half of a best friend's necklace.
You're never too old for your best friend.
Katelina pulled the chain hard enough to snap it, then backed away. She looked from the necklace clenched in one hand, to the bloody chair leg in the other. With a cry she threw the makeshift weapon away and stumbled back, until she tripped over what was left of the metal rack. She sprawled on the floor, eyes locked on Sarah's dead body. The sobs came. She didn't try to fight them, only drew herself into a shaking ball.
She let her misery rule for a few minutes, then reminded herself that the Executioners were going to blow the building up. She needed to find Micah. They had to get out, before The Guild decided they were expendable.
Micah wasn't in the basementno way would he have stayed out of a fight. She told Sarah a final goodbye, then headed back upstairs. She'd just cleared the basement door when she almost ran into the bald vampire. He was the color of a lobster, with blisters on top of his head.
"There you are! What the fuck" he broke off. "You okay? You look like your dog died."
She held up the handful of necklace, but it meant nothing to him. "Okay. Whatever. Hey, I think this is yours." He offered her the golden dagger she'd lost earlier, complete with scabbard. "I found the sheath upstairs while I was checking for intruders. The knife was in Torina's room. It is yours, right?"
She nodded and took it. The hilt felt cool against her sunburned hand, but it brought no comfort. She was surprised at how disappointed she was to see it, as though it was a cursed object she'd been well rid of. And why not? It was a dagger Memnon had used for hundreds of years to sacrifice innocents to the Night Goddess. Some of that evil had surely rubbed off.
Nonetheless, she muttered, "Thanks," and stuffed it in her back pocket.
"You're welcome. You ready to go or what?"
She looked back to the basement. Sarah deserved a burial of some kind, but-
Verchiel joined them, looking refreshed enough to make Katelina suspicious. He met her eyes, then motioned to Micah. "You'll need to go get the body out of the basement. We can't risk leaving any vampires behind."
Micah gaped. "Body? What the fuck?" He looked to Katelina. "What were you doing down there?"
"Finishing things," she said.
Micah trudged off, looking irritated. Verchiel patted her awkwardly on the shoulder. "I sent the others ahead. Since Jorick insists on hopping, they're going slow."
Katelina bit her lip. "What about the other bodies? I mean, I know Oren and Sorino-" She choked. "But Lilith's minions?"
"We threw them out by the pool. The sun is already taking care of them. Brandle wanted to take William."
Of course he would.
Verchiel told her how to get to the alley, then left to get a blanket and "help the lug head". She followed the directions, and soon saw Jorick and the others ahead of her. Oren carried a lumpy blanket, no doubt Torina's body. Jorick leaned on Brandle, his broken leg all but useless. In front of them bobbed Zander and Loren's heads.
Katelina didn't have the energy to catch up. By the time she limped her way to the end, the others were already loaded in a pair of black SUVs parked in the shade.
She ducked through a slice of sunlight to climb into the nearest one. As luck would have it, Jorick was inside, a bedspread heaped in his lap. She sank next to him in relief.
He wrapped his good arm around her and pulled her against him. She breathed in his scent and relaxed for the first time in hours. Behind her, sitting stiff in the back seat was Zander. Flecked with blood and dirt, his sunburn was mild compared to the others, but his eyes were haunted. Brandle sat next to him, his shirt torn. Various wounds were scabbed over. He looked tired. Still, he managed a halfhearted smile when she met his eyes.
She looked back to Jorick. "I know the windows are tinted, but when we pull out of here and into the sun-"
"They won't offer full protection." Jorick lifted the bedspread. "We'll need to cover ourselves."
It was better than nothing, so she nodded her understanding and looked out the window. Sorino came down the alley, lugging a blanket wrapped body. He circled to the back of the vehicle and banged on the glass. The driver, a nervous looking human, muttered under his breath, but released the hatch. Katelina watched as Sorino shoved Kai's body inside, then hopped up himself, slamming the hatch closed.
She knew she should say something, but she couldn't find words. Instead she closed her eyes and tried to push away memories of Kai.
Verchiel and Micah arrived last with Sarah's body. After they were in the second vehicle, the SUVs came to life. Katelina helped Jorick cover them with the bedspread. With the world blocked out by flowers, she closed her eyes. It was finally over. All of it. The only thing left was to bury the dead and try to forget.
